Jack went back to school today nonplussed and without stress. He came home happy. Al and I were also calm about it. What a difference 12 months makes. (Things can change day by day, but we appreciated today for what it was.)

He spent some time tonight finishing off the latest book he was reading – a 184 page Edith Blyton hardback that he read cover to cover in less than 3 days. His transition from small school reader to children’s novels has really seen his reading leap forward again. Every so often, either voluntarily or in answer to a leading question, he will discuss some aspect of the story he is reading which has shown that he is taking it in.

Both Al and I loved reading as kids, so it is great to see Jack enjoying it so much. In that regard Jack is also being a good role model for Grace. Tonight while Jack read aloud to himself on the couch, Grace sat opposite, doing the same thing but using made up babble.

The last month has been very wearying – which is a worry as I had quite a lot of time off, and was meant to have re-charged my batteries for the new year.

One reason has been my health. My slipped disc noticeably impacted my movement for several weeks after it happened, and even now after 6 weeks it is still not 100%. Then late last week a trip to the dentist found a badly rotted tooth. A 5 minute extraction turned into two and a half hours in the chair, taking it out in small crumbling pieces. Physically my mouth is still recovering from that. My mental recovery will take even longer!

Another reason has been the effort to clear up a few items off the To Do list. I found Jack a laptop at a good price in the Boxing Day Sales. It may seem strange for a 6 year old to have his own laptop, but it was pertinent to get him off Al’s computer. For one he was learning enough through school to start downloading and installing things. We were also having problems with Grace insisting of taking over when he was using it, or deliberately turning it off to upset him.

This saw a chain of purchases over the month – which culminated in buying and setting up a new bookcase and desk for his room, and moving his old storage units to the downstairs play area. This took a lot of research and running around! Between these and some cleanup efforts, we managed to get several of the areas in the house to look neat for almost the first time since the kids arrived.

Mostly however the month has been wearing due to Grace. It started out with her toilet training, which after a couple hard days has gone far more smoothly than Jack’s did. It still adds work to the day though. She also hasn’t been sleeping as well – battling or skipping her midday sleep at times, going to bed late (often using the potty as an excuse to get up several times), and getting up early. This tires both her and her Mum out. Plus she has generally just been throwing a lot more tantrums than normal. The moment she doesn't get what she wants she goes into banshee mode, being deliberately naughty, hitting, biting, scratching, screaming, and damaging things around the house. A dozen of those in a row and both of us are rattled and over it.

Jack is getting the short straw here, being sent off and told to keep himself amused and out of the way while we try to deal with Grace. (A task he can be rather bad at – often returning minutes later to be belted by Grace, and yelled at for not doing what he was told.)

We don’t really have Grace’s measure on this – and have been ineffective in containing the behaviour or getting it to improve. You can’t discuss it with her (as she is too busy trying to bash your head in), there is no place in the house we can contain her within (she climbs out of her cot, opens any door etc), and there seems to nothing of consequence we can threaten or punish her with that she cares enough about. (In fact, she will often deliberately do whatever you tell her not to while you are watching, to trigger the punishment to spite you (and herself).)

As a consequence we have rarely left the house with her this month.

It is certainly not all doom and gloom. Grace really is doing great with her toilet training, and I can’t remember the last time she had an accident during the day. (Mostly it is just not getting her dress or her “bundies” out of the way properly while sitting on the potty). She is also pretty happy – assuming she has her Mum’s full attention and is doing whatever she wants, for as long as she wants. She is also going well in the new room at childcare (although was told off for singing at the top of her voice during one nap time). We are coping well with Jack being on school holidays, and the house is looking better organised than it has in years. I am also pretty happy with how I have coped overall. That doesn’t however make the last month any less tiring!

Al was reflecting on our year tonight, as you do. While it was very busy, with many small achievements, there were two that particularly stood out. The first was that we could not have hoped for Jack’s first year of school to have gone so well, or been any happier with his school. The second was that we solidified and noticeably moved forward with our financial goals. These had stagnated the previous two years (as expected) with Al being off work with Grace’s birth, and from having two children in childcare. It was nice to feel we had jumped forward so much, and that our long held plans were falling into place as hoped.

This time two weeks ago there was a high level of panic in the house over Christmas. I could barely walk with my back out, and we had the vast majority of our preparations still to do. We have been steadily working away at it over the last 8 odd days, and have made it to Christmas EVE all prepared (aside the last dozen odd presents to wrap tonight), and without having to push ourselves too hard. I picked up some cakes this morning, the last of the food, and some socks and jocks for my Xmas presents. We don’t normally go out on Christmas EVE, even early in the morning. There wasn’t much cheer on the face of the haggard shoppers as they rushed, pushed, bumped and growled their way around. It was quite an experience. Next year hopefully I will have a little more time to be able to sit down with a coffee, and just watch the spectacle unfold.

I am, once again, feeling relatively relaxed and happy about things. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for the family. Jack is pretty excited at the moment, and chatting incessantly. Grace has had the runs today and been very hard work. She is very excited about all things Christmas though, and I expect will be very excited to come downstairs tomorrow and see the presents under the tree.

Speaking of presents – there are none under the tree yet. While Grace has generally stayed away from the tree over the last week (aside tinkling the bells), we just couldn’t trust her with the presents.

Al and I started going out together 20 years ago today. We ate Pizza on our first official date (we were Uni students after all), so once the kids had gone to bed we ate a Pizza to celebrate. Al said she had tried to impress upon Jack how big a milestone that was, but he did not seem to comprehend its significance. I guess he has only lived 35% of two decades. We plan to go away for a night sometime early next year to mark the occasion, when things are not so hectic.

I was in the supermarket earlier today with a trolley. As I headed towards the checkout I noticed an open and free isle. Coming from the opposite direction was an elderly Indian couple, angling for the same checkout. I was markedly closer than they were – and had just thought “should I slow down and let them in?” when they literally sprinted forward, almost crashing into my trolley to get in first.

I laughed out loud at the absurd rudeness of it.

Meanwhile Allison took the kids to Church. An elderly man was waiting at the door for her, and stepped forward offering a small bag. He explained that his wife, who had passed away a few months before, had collected Teddy Bears and wanted to give one to Grace at Christmas. (Grace is the only one of her age who fairly consistently attends the church.) So the man had brought along a Bear from his wife's collection for Grace, and also had a book for Jack.

That was very touching - and in stark contrast to my supermarket experience.

Grace has smashed two Christmas tree ornaments already – the second time with a big grin on her face, rather pleased with the result from throwing her Teddy Bear into the Tree. When she was told to move away she refused – so she was herded out of the room. She then deliberately hit her brother on the head several times in retaliation, and was told to go to the naughty corner. She of course refused – and because of my back I was stuck waiting around for Allison to come and move her there. (Al never comes quickly, and usually arrives with an icy state at me for breaking whatever momentary peace there was.) In the end – furious, I dragged her into the naughty corner myself. Not good for my back. Grace then hit me, and ended up being told she had to go to her room.

Grace is pushing buttons at the moment – and now that she realises the Christmas Tree results in such an over the top reaction, it won’t surprise me if it becomes her go to item to aggravate, punish or seek revenge against her parents. We can’t ignore the behavior either – we have already been harping on her not to touch it, so we are stuck with that, the broken baubles leave sharp shards on the floor, and we have had some of them for more than 15 years and don’t want them broken.

In anger I threatened to pull the Christmas Tree down. In hindsight, if Grace ramps up her attacks on it that will probably be the result. In the meanwhile I need to calm down. The family has been highly strung the last week with the break in routine around my back. Plus - where as I am normally calmer in my discipline of the kids in comparison to Al, I am currently more stressed going into a situation with Grace knowing that I can’t actually move, lift or carry her.

I really disliked Christmas for much of my Adult life. For the last 4 or 5 years however Al and I made some changes in how we approached it, tried to make it more relaxed, less of a hassle, even been a little selfish in not travelling – and it has actually got some of that magic back. This year with Grace’s behaviour, my back and the disruption it caused in our preparations, and Al being more frazzled with everything going on, we are going to have to make even more of an effort to get the balance right and make it an enjoyable one for all four of us.

Just from writing this down I feel a little better. If Grace breaks another ornament, we won’t pull the tree down. We will just take all the ornaments off it.

Anyway – my back is now smarting from moving Grace and the extra tension, so I think I will go and lie down for a bit.

We got the Christmas Tree up today. Al had to do the heavy lifting, getting everything out from under the stairs and put it together. The kids helped, although I was once again a little too controlling about what went on it and where.

I can’t say it was a special family moment - we were too busy trying to sheppard Grace with loud voice and arms as she darted this way and that with fragile ornaments. We got a few photos off, but not long afterwards Jack was back to complaining so was sent off to his room. Grace then played up, refused to eat her Tea, and gave us a long string of naughty behaviour and tantrums.

Because she did not eat her tea, she did not get Ice Cream or her usual supper of Yogurt and snack. We did however give her an apple. Normally she would only eat a third of one, but each time she said she was finished and asked for more food, we repeated that she did not eat her Tea so was not getting any more food, just the apple. She would then eat another slice before trying again. In the end she ate the whole thing.

She is reasonably good at understanding that this sort of thing is a consequence of her actions. Unfortunately it doesn’t provide that much of a deterrent for her. She understands that she will be punished, and that she doesn’t want that, but her anger always gets the best of her and she just can’t stop her reactions.

We have mentioned it before, but Jack seems to be back into a bit of a cycle again of being a spoilt brat. He never seems to be thankful, and always complains bitterly the moment he doesn’t get what he wants. We will have to work on that again.

When I put my back out, Al and I were nowhere near being ready for Christmas, and a moderate panic ensured. After a number of productive efforts over the last few days we are now pretty much on top of things, just with food, wrapping, and one or two items to go. Hopefully we can try to relax a bit more next week.

With my back out (yet) again, I cannot lift Grace in or out of her cot. After her nap today, Grace was calling for her mum to come and get her. Al was busy with a work email and was delaying going to get her. Not wanting Grace to get upset, I went into her room to keep her company. We made up a little song to the tune of “Where is Thumbkin”.

Where is Mum, Where is Mum

I don’t know, I don’t know,

Probably in the Toilet, Probably in the Toilet,

I’d say so, I’d say so

I thought this was mildly amusing. Grace however thought it was hilarious, and has been singing it ever since. Allison gave me yet another one of her “you will be sorry” glares. I have seen a lot of those.

Grace gave a cheer when Al drove into the childcare car park yesterday. When they parked Grace asked for her water bottle (the centre encourages them to take their own as it seems to increase the amount of water they drink). Al had forgotten to bring it (again), so this caused Grace to cry.

Today when it was time to leave Grace suddenly headed off to the kitchen. She returned with one of her water bottles under her arm, and wouldn't let us take it off her. Apparently she realised she couldn’t trust her parents with the task, so brought it along herself...

Life continues with its little ups and downs and constant running around. My work has been retrenching lots of people (probably won’t be a factor for me at the moment), and Al’s work continues its glacially slow but inevitable march towards outsourcing and offshoring to nothingness. Meanwhile we have the share market lurching up and down drunkenly on a daily basis, and the world apparently on the precipice of another great depression, or not, depending on the time of day or the discussions about the latest EU bail outs.

It is a reminder that you can’t take things for granted, which we were particularly mindful of this week while we went over out 16 or 17 year plan to give us the option of putting the kids through a Private High School. To ensure we would not have to pull the kids out half way through due to financial constraints, we have already started to save. This year we had a goal of putting aside an extra $15,410 – which we will probably be $1,000 to $1,500 short on, but will be able to make up next year. (It is a large and long sacrifice!)

The kids of course are oblivious to the world’s economic problems, or that Mum and Dad’s budget stretches out so far into the future. Jack’s main concern in life is how often he gets to play on his PS2, and Grace’s main concern is doing what she wants when she wants, whatever that might happen to be at the time.

Speaking of schooling, Jack had his school concert this week. It was repeated over two nights (to allow as many parents and family the opportunity to see), and was done in a rather nice theatre (offered for free by a nearby Private School). I went the first night, and Al went the second. Much to my surprise, while a bit too long, it was actually very good. It spoke volumes of the efforts and approach of his primary school.

I have wanted to update my monitors to a pair of Dell 27” screens for quite a while now. While the money was in the budget for them some time ago, it look me a long time to research, measure and review if they would fit and work ok with everything else. In the end I had to resign myself to the fact I just couldn’t fit them onto my desk. When telling Al this, she shrugged and asked why I didn’t just move the computer case to the bench behind the desk. Oh.. I had never thought of that.

So after months of humming and haring I finally placed an order, to have it turn up the next day. When we first moved into the house I had an idea of what my dream study would be. I think we exceeded that some years ago.

Back in August I remarked on Jack being one of a team of 6 Prep’s whose project got a High Distinction in a State Math’s Competition. He attended the award ceremony today to collect his certificate and a book gift card. Students from some well-known Private and Select Entry schools were in amongst the various state winners.

Subsequently they were also announced as the winners for the National Competition for Prep’s in a group of 6 or less, and received a further certificate and a medal. We are quite proud of Jack and his friends – their entry was judged the best in its category in the nation, which is rather special. Al got the opportunity to look at the entry, which was a diorama, supported by a detailed workbook looking at how the project was decided on and put together, with photos and the work and comments of each of the students. She said it was quite impressive.

The school came away with 4 National Wins from its entries (out of 20 odd categories it could have entered), which I imagine they are very pleased with.

For the last couple months Grace has been more insistent on Dad doing things for her –changing her nappy, drying her after a shower, getting her changed, taking her to childcare, and especially about tucking her into bed. When it is time for bed she will say bye to mum, and grabbing my hand, we will walk up the stairs together. As we go up Al almost always heads to the toilet. On hearing this, Grace started to say “Mum going to the Toilet…”

After a few nights of this I would respond with, “Yes, again”.

Shortly after this Grace modified her spiel to say “Mum going to the Toilet.. Again..” – with an amusing emphasis on the again.

Now any time I ask the kids where their mum is, Grace will pipe up with “Mum in the Toilet.. Again..”

It is quite hilarious, although Al does shoot me dirty looks, and remarks on how much trouble I am going to get into if she does it in public.

Today I might have got a touch of karma. While in the laundry I heard Grace remarking “Dad in the Toilet.. Again..”. It seems to have become Grace’s catch cry any time someone is out of the room. I can see this could get embarrassing.

Picked over linen at Harris Scarfe’s closing down sale spending $314, purchased half a dozen dresses for Grace (who is insisting on wearing them at the moment) for $78, and then grabbed $60 of groceries. I got home thinking it really wasn’t a very manly morning of spending. Al then regaled me with stories about the kids throwing tantrums and being naughty. Decided girly shopping wasn't so bad after all...

At the start of each term we are given a list of weekly show and tell topics that Jack should bring in. I suspect we are more diligent in providing these than other parents – but our hand is somewhat forced by how keen Jack is.

Towards the end of each term the feedback from Jack suggests less and less people are bringing the correct things in. This week Jack had to show an Australian Animal toy, which he took in a plastic Crocodile for. (We try to find somewhat different options.) When we picked him up, he indicated he was the only person to do the proper item on that day.

Today when I picked up Jack he made a remark that one of the other boys had also brought in an Australian toy animal this week, so that he was not the only one. When we got home I remarked to Al that Harry had brought in a Koala for show and tell. Her reply was “What, a real one?”

This was followed immediately after by a facial expression that showed she realised how silly the response was, then lots of laughter.

That was a bit startling. An over tired Grace was throwing a long and extended tantrum upstairs while we ignored her. She suddenly started calling for her mum – who found she had squeezed a leg, bum and half her middle through the balustrade around the top of our stairs, and was precariously close to hanging herself by her head, or falling 2 meters to the bottom of the stairs.

Jack on his PS2

Jack has rather an intense focus on playing his PS2. It is the first thing he remarks on when you pick him up after school, and is usually the last thing he talks about when he goes to bed.

We introduced the console to him when he started to visit William, where they would often play video games. The idea was that he would get to understand how the games worked and find it easier to join in when he played with other kids. That certainly worked.

We also found that it was one of the few ways to keep him busy, distracted, and out of our hair for a while, so came to rely on it a bit. I have also been impressed with his general persistence to understand and master his various games.

On the negative however he talks incessantly about it, even though I repeatedly ask him not too. He is constantly harping to play, and can be rather grumpy (or tries to ignore us) when we tell him to get off. He can also get upset if he can’t get through a stage of the game.

Currently he was playing it once or twice a day during the week, and twice on the weekends. Now, and I feel both like an old fashioned parent and a hypocrite considering how much time I spend on my computer, but we have now restricted Jack to playing on it only once a day. If he doesn’t show evidence of stepping back a little with his love affair with his PS2, we might have to consider further restrictions.

Jack missed both Thursday and Friday from school. The fever has slowly got better, but he still spent most of today with a mild temperature, and volunteered to go to bed early. We are not sure if he will get to school tomorrow – and will likely decide at the last minute.

All the family have colds at the moment, and are not feeling 100%. While I had a relatively relaxed weekend, Al and the kids bounced off each other a bit due to feeling tired, out of sorts and being cooped up more than usual. It will be interesting if the start of the week and getting back into a normal routine helps settle everyone, or everyone crashes and ends up home sick.

Grace enjoying computer time with Mum

Jack was up at 5:30am with a nasty cough and a temperature of 102.2. He is having his first day off school sick. Not a bad effort to get this far into the year.