Part 1

Once again it has been ages since my last blog entry. Hopefully next year I can get back into a more regular pattern.

The past few months have been very busy. We have undertaken the huge effort of clearing out our spare room - which was filled with just about everything we have stored over our lives. Not only did we need to sort through all this to decide what to keep and what to throw, we also had to sort out every available storage space in the rest of the house to make room to put those items we are keeping. It is the biggest spring clean I have ever done in my life, and with limited time to myself had to be done here and there whenever I found any time.

Once we accomplished this, we went through the first house painting exercise we have ever done. This involved numerous trips to Bunnings to collect samples, decide on a few choices for sample pots, and then finally decide on the colour. Doug then did a great job getting the painting completed. The next task was choosing the curtains. They are now on order but unfortunately won't arrive any time soon. We then searched numerous furniture stores to finally procure a bed for Jack. It has just arrived so will see how it fits into the room and how Jack responds to it.

Jack requested a 'Thomas' bed for his room, so Doug took Jack shopping to purchase Thomas doona covers and pillow slips. These will totally clash with the rest of the room, but being his choice and feeling like it is 'his special room' is the most important thing. Once we see how the bed fits in, we can then decide on any further furniture requirements and what toys will fit into the room. We still need to organise air conditioning. Jack also wanted 'dinosaur curtains' (although we decided it was better to get long term curtains without having to replace then whenever his tastes change) so we still need to find some dinosaur pictures for the walls. It has been quite a time-consuming and expensive process to date, and remains to be seen how Jack embraces the new room.

He has been intrigued by the process and seems interested in the prospect of having his own room (although not so sure about having no bed for mum in the room), so time will tell. It feels like when we were pregnant first time around, we prepared the nursery for Jack (plus many other baby related purchases) and again this time around we are busy preparing a room for Jack, while we don't need too much for the new baby. Jack is getting the benefit of the bulk of the effort both times!

On top of this home 'project', I have been busy with further work training and finishing up work projects by the end of the year. There has of course continued to be ultrasounds, blood tests and OB visits to add to my busy schedule. Add in social occasions, Christmas events, and Christmas shopping, and we barely seem to have had a spare minute in past few months. At the same time I am glad to be getting as much of this busyness out of the way by Christmas to that then hopefully we’ll be able to relax a bit more in the final couple months of the pregnancy.

Social events of note in past couple months have included meeting Liana's baby brother (Lucas), going to the Benalla show with Pop, Jack's outdoor childcare Christmas party, my extended family Christmas catch up in Macedon, and attending a friend's 40th and another friend's baby shower.

As far as Jack goes, the main event in past few months has been getting him to sleep on his own, rather than attached to me. As my belly was getting larger (and I get increasingly more uncomfortable in bed), it was high time to undertake this. I attacked it in stages - firstly getting Jack to sleep in his bed while I slept in the single bed in his room, then staying in his room until he fell asleep and moving back to our room for the night. (Although moving back to our room was regularly delayed as I often fall asleep before Jack does!).

The whole process has gone better than I expected. The first stage was the easier one. Jack slept quite well during this period - although he did take longer to get to sleep than when sleeping next to me. He chatted more, asked me to get up and down to get him things, tuck him back in, talk about his day etc. He would also probably wake on average 1 - 2 times a night, but did sometimes sleep through.

The second stage he still wakes on average around the same as above, although on bad nights he can wake 5 to 6 times (which is very tiring for me). He then either cries or yells loudly for me to come, or calmly walks to our room and lets me walk him back to bed and tuck him in. I then have to stay with him until he is asleep again – by which time I often fall asleep myself, so there can be a lot of musical beds in the middle of the night. Mostly he settles quickly when he wakes, but other times he can require a lot more talking and comforting to go back down. We will have to see how he adjusts to moving into his new room. I will then at some stage have to do a final stage of trying to get him to go to sleep by himself without me being in the room.

Daylight savings has made things more difficult since he can take longer to go to sleep at night. Then in the mornings he wakes as soon as he notices the sun comes up (usually between 5 and 6am currently). On the days he goes to childcare he often doesn't go to sleep until 9 - 9:30pm (by which time I am very tired). Other nights he is asleep between 7 and 8.

His current bedtime routine is to have a bath, then short playtime and story with mum, then playtime and story time with Dad. We then do some shooting with toy guns around the room (under and on beds, nappy change, curtains, cupboard, bookshelf, behind door, etc) to 'make sure no scary things come into the room' (as he is sometimes having nightmares or telling us he is scared). He then has a short cuddle in the single bed with me, and then I tuck him into his cot bed. He cuddles his small teddy bear (from Grandma C) so the 'teddy bear won't get scared.

We allow him to come into our bed in the morning only when 'it is a little bit of daytime' which is as soon as he spies any daylight through his curtains. Occasionally he falls back to sleep, other times he will just snuggle for awhile. When Dad has his shower, he loves to 'hide from dad' under the covers and chant 'Daisy Head Maisy' (from one of his DVDs) when Doug comes to find us. He also enjoys playing with his little teddy bear (and my mummy teddy bear that he insists I sleep with), and particularly enjoys doing 'going on a bear hunt' with them.

We gave up on insisting on 7am as the time to get out of bed (since sometimes he has been awake for 2 hours by this time and is getting very upset about staying in bed so long) but other days he is having so much fun playing in the bed with me and the teddies, that I have to tell him it's time to get up (to get ready for our day, or to try to get breakfast into him sooner rather than later before he starts getting too antsy).

Posted by Al at 10:18 PM

Part 2

The pregnancy continues to go well overall. I have however still found myself constantly tired - even during this second trimester when I was hoping I would have more energy. All of the above busyness and sleep issues of course have contributed to this. I have also found myself more emotional than last time and having less patience and tolerance for Jack and other things - so am not handling things as well as I would like, which has been frustrating and disappointing for me. Again the tiredness would of course contribute to all of this.

I had also forgotten a lot of pregnancy related issues I had last time - such as leg cramps and varicose veins. They are extra things to manage – although it is harder to find time to rest and put my legs up than last time around. So although of course I am thrilled to be pregnant again and looking forward to meeting the new baby (although worrying about how we will manage with 2), it has been a harder than expected journey through the pregnancy. Also makes me worry how this all affects the baby. Last time I was calm and relatively relaxed for most of the pregnancy, whereas this time the baby is having to deal with my high stress levels and emotional outbursts. Still, these are all minor concerns and as long as the baby is healthy and ok, that is the most important thing, and worth all the trials of pregnancy.

Summary of Jack at 41 months:

. Jack's swimming teacher has been commenting in past few weeks how far Jack has progressed. He was really tense when floating on his back when he started going in the class by himself, but is now far more relaxed and can float with just one floaty on each arm (rather than 2). He is also treading water better and longer, and improving swimming on his front and his kicking.

. Jack hopped a few times in a row at Gymbaroo last week (first time I have seen him do more than one hop). Gymbaroo appears to be his favourite activity currently (possibly because it is the one activity he still does with me participating).

-. We have really noticed Jack being extra sensitive to loud noises, and hot and cold temperatures in past few months. I asked the GP on a visit about the hearing sensitivity but he didn't find any issues. We mentioned it to Jack's pediatric chiropractor on his checkup visit in past couple months and he indicated sensitivity to loud noise can indicate a problem with the neck (and Jack's neck was out again and required slight readjustment at the visit).

. He is doing really well at Ready, Steady, Go and generally enjoys it. At times the kids are too noisy for him though, so while they are all happily participating he can stand back covering his ears.

. Jack continues to enjoy playing with Daniel and Brayden at his Mon / Tues childcare, and also plays with a number of the other boys and a couple of girls regularly. He has been much more enthusiastic about childcare in the past 6 months since he has started playing directly with other kids. Unfortunately he has in past few weeks been commenting that one of the boys hits him regularly. He often asks me in the morning if this boy will be there. Another time I dropped him off and he was watching Brayden and this boy play with cars but didn’t join in. I asked why and he said this boy might 'get him'. As soon as this boy moved away Jack then went and got a car and started playing. We tried to raise it with the childcare and they brushed it aside and ignored it. We had been asking Jack what he did when he hit him, and he says 'I just cry'. So we have been trying to talk to Jack about how to stand up for himself. He told us last week that he went up to this boy and said 'My name is Jack Carter so you can't hit me' (his interpretation of what I had been telling him to say - 'Don't hit Jack Carter' really loudly if he was ever hit). So we will see how the situation develops over time. We are hoping this boy doesn't continue into Jack's new room next year, but if he does and the situation continues, we will try to raise with the carers in the new room. Brayden's mum has also commented that Brayden is telling her the same thing, so it appears it isn't only Jack that is being targeted. She was similarly dismissed when she tried to raise it at the childcare (disappointing response by them particularly if they are having a number of complaints).

. Jack has finally made a friend at the Thursday Childcare in the past few months – Just when he will be finishing up and going to three days at the one centre. It has made a big difference to his wanting to be there. Previously he would always cry and say he wanted to go to the other childcare place, whereas now he says 'will Campbell be there today' and if he is, will happily play with him for much of the day. One of the carers made the comment to me that it was dropping Jack's day sleep there that allowed the boys to develop the friendship (since they were 2 of the only ones not sleeping so it gave them a one-on-one opportunity to get to know one another, whereas previously Jack always played alone, and probably didn't feel comfortable trying to join in the other kids. She also commented that they are both intelligent boys and play on the same level, so she thought that was also why they had particularly bonded. I have left a note in the other boy's pigeon hold to see if the parents would like to do play dates to allow the boys to continue their friendship so it remains to be seen if we hear back, or if Jack will lose this little friend next year.

. One of Jack's Thursday childcare workers (Jacqueline) dropped a brochure in our pigeon hole a little while back to say she does babysitting. Since we had our ante-natal refresher at the hospital one night, it was the perfect opportunity to try it out. Jack seemed to really enjoy interacting with her at home. She couldn't believe how different Jack was compared to at childcare, and said she loved seeing it. She told us she really likes Jack and spends a lot of time with him at the centre (we had always had the impression she likes him and this just further confirmed it). So it is great to have this local babysitter fall into our laps, and great to have someone Jack knows and is comfortable with, and someone we know and can trust in our home and in caring for Jack. It is also great to have a local alternative, rather than only having my mother (who has to travel) to care for Jack when need be. It also gives Jack the opportunity to continue this relationship with her ongoing, rather than not seeing her again after finishing up at that centre.

. Potty training continues to be a drama, and is the 'bane of my life' currently. We now insist Jack sits on the potty first thing in the morning, before his bath, and usually 1-2 more times on the days he is not at childcare. Most times this is met with furious tantrums. He occasionally does a wee on the potty, but often he does a tantrum long enough to do a wee in his nappy first, then comes to the potty. He is still yet to do any poos at all on the potty (despite offers of a big 'special surprise' when he does one). We are now using a magnet reward chart for each time he sits on the potty, a 'special surprise' (toy present) when he fills up the chart, and a sticker each time he does a wee (as they do at his childcare). We also have borrowed some potty books from a friend and the 'Elmo potty training DVD' and he has showed some interest in watching and reading these. Despite all these things, he still seems mentally determined to not try. Unfortunately Jack's nature is to not want to try new things that he deems to be 'scary', and he has a strong determination when he makes his mind up (positively or negatively). It has also been stressful for me with the childcare also putting pressure on us since he is supposed to be toilet-trained by time he goes to the new childcare room next year. The childcare workers did announce one week that he asked to go to the toilet for the first time and did a wee (this has never occurred at home to date).

. One of Jack's latest favourite play activities is to spray the backyard plants with water (and he is fascinated that he is 'growing the flowers' that have been popping up over spring). He also loves playing with a roller painter and paintbrush, and 'painting' the backyard tiles and fence with water. These were both activities that we picked up from his childcare.

. Jack is also continuing to enjoy imaginative play, and loves pretending to be all kinds of animals (eg giraffe, bear, lion) and types of equipment (eg digger, roller truck) and coming and scaring me/Doug. He also loves playing 'hide'n'seek' (although he always 'hides' in the bed or on the couches covered with cushions so hasn't quite grasped the concept of hiding being somewhere people don't know where you are).

. Jack's latest angle about the new baby is to talk about what the 'brother' will be able to do. He seems to have equated being a brother with being an adult, with announcing such things as 'the brother will be able to drive the car', 'when I am a brother I will be able to sit in the front seat of the car', 'the brother will be able to reach things on the top shelf', etc. He also announced to me one night that 'mummy will bath Jack while daddy minds the baby, then daddy will bath the baby, then mummy will look after Jack at nighttime and daddy will look after the baby'. We obviously still have quite a bit of explaining to do regards to what the reality will be with the baby – to try to help his preparation.

Posted by Al at 10:37 PM

Jack’s new bed was delivered today. We were a little surprised to find it had been made in China – since the Salesperson had given us the impression it was manufactured in Australia. (It certainly cost enough to have been.)

While the bed looked good once put together, it was disappointing to see the minimalistic care and attention in its manufacture. The parts you can see have been done well – but the moment any aspect of the furniture is out of sight, there was just no effort made at all. The stain stops millimeters into any surface not on show, and the quality of the joins and wood used behind the façade is appalling.

I was left with the strong sense that the people making the furniture had no pride in what they were doing.

I got Jack to help towards the end so he would feel involved in the process, which seemed to work as intended. Once the bed was made up with his chosen Tomas livery, he seemed genuinely happy. He remarked multiple times that it was “very cool”, "fantastic", and “Really, really, really good”.

There are still things to do, but at least tonight Jack is sleeping in his own bed, in his own room. My only real concern is for him falling out of it!

Posted by Doug at 12:32 AM

 

 

Jacks new bed. We are quite pleased with how it looks.

Posted by Doug at 8:27 AM

Jack has taken to his new bed better than we expected. Once he accepts it is bedtime, he climbs into it without fuss. He has already slept right through the night on a couple of occasions (something which has been pretty rare), is sleeping in longer in the mornings, and isn’t showing much interesting in coming into our bedroom.

It has been a double edged sword for Allison however. Jack insists on her being in the room when he falls to sleep, so she can end up sitting on an uncomfortable chair for an hour or so each night. Each time he wakes up through the night he calls for her, and again she must sit in the chair until he falls back to sleep. Last of all, instead of her usual morning cuddles with Jack, now she finds herself sitting in the chair again as Jack chats and readies himself for his day, from the comfort of his bed…

Our local butcher is atrocious. I assume they cut their meat to maximize profits and what they get off each carcass. We find it does not look appetising, does not cut well, and generally has gristle running diagonally through it. As a result it isn’t nice to eat. That butcher unfortunately supplies our local supermarket, and as a consequence we have gone from having an average of four serves of red meat a week to often having none.

This may have had an unexpected impact. During Al’s last OB visit she was found to have extremely low iron levels. She has to take additional supplements to get it back up to a healthy range. This is in contrast to the first pregnancy, where the OB told her she had the highest iron level’s he had ever seen in a pregnant woman. We wonder if part of the issue is the lack of red meat in our diet.

We have two very good butchers a little further afield, so we are now going to try and ensure we visit them regularly.

We are both a little uncomfortable though at the thought of any impact this might have had on the baby’s development, or even Jack’s development (assuming the lack of iron in his diet).

Posted by Doug at 10:28 AM

Jack has been a real little shit today. Naughtiness, tantrums, tears and complaints abound. He broke Al’s relatively deep patience twice, bring forth wild eyed snapping banshee woman. The fact he did it twice showed he wasn’t learning any lessons.

We purchased a couple cube storage units for Jack’s Bedroom. They took quite an effort to put together. While the style, size and cost of the units were exactly what we were after, the color doesn’t work with Jack’s bed. We hope that once the drapes arrive it will suite more, but at the moment we are somewhat disappointed. If it comes to it, we can use them in another room. We will have to wait and see.

Posted by Doug at 8:02 PM

A couple times over the weekend Jack came out with “I don’t like Dad”, and “Go away Dad, your no good. I want Mum.” It inevitably came after he had been disciplined.

I’ve talked about the different ways Al and I deal with Jack when he is naughty. Al tries to avoid conflict, saying things like “No Jack, come on Jack, please Jack”. When she finally gives him an ultimatum it tends to come with a long countdown that slows at its end – sort of …five, four, three , two, two and a half, two and one third, two and one quarter…

I on the other hand tend to be more consistent, firmer and sharper in my discipline. “Stop that right now Jack. I am going to count down from three, and if you haven’t stopped you are going straight to bed. Threetwoone – right, off to bed.”

What regularly happens is that discipline starts with Al – and if Jack refuses and it escalates, I step in to bring it to a conclusion. On the weekend this enforcement role led to Jack saying “I don’t like Dad.” It is not very nice to hear.

This morning Jack and I put up the Christmas tree together. A little while later I was standing in the kitchen having a cup of tea and Jack was sitting on the couch looking at the tree. Out of the blue he suddenly said “I love you Daddy.”

This parenting thing has its ups and downs.

Posted by Doug at 10:00 AM

 

The new storage units in Jack's room.

The color is called mocha - which is basically a dark walnut. We knew we'd never get the same color as the bed, so figured going for something that was obviously not meant to match. Unfortunately it seems to clash... It might look better once the drapes are delivered (they have a slight dark walnut trim on the track), and when we get some pictures up on the wall.

Posted by Doug at 12:29 PM

It is hard rubbish collection week here. I am still surprised by the constant flow of vans trolling up and down the street, stopping to sift through the neighbour’s rubbish. Jack is quite fascinated by the change to our streetscape. Drives can be accompanied by a chorus of “There’s a mess, and more mess, and more messes, and more messes. There’s more mess again…”

Posted by Doug at 2:36 PM

Jack and Al have been bouncing off each other more. Jack has just been – unhinged, over the last few days. He is more desperate than normal to be close to his mum, yet when he is, he is demanding and impossible to placate. It is driving Al crazy.

We know Jack is a little under the weather at the moment, has had an overly busy week, and has just moved into his own room. It explains what is likely behind the behaviour. Even with that knowledge it is still difficult to cope with his unending angst.

Jack’s childcare centre will be closed over Christmas, so he and Al will be spending extra time together. I hope they both get the chance to recharge their batteries and enjoy some quality bonding time (while quietly fearing the mess it could be!). Given how much time they have spent attached to each other, and the impact the birth of Jack’s little sister will have, it might well be the last opportunity the pair of them get to spend so much one on one time together.

Posted by Doug at 12:32 AM

Jack can no longer find the same level of comfort and assurance in the most important person in his entire life. Al's body language, the tone of voice, the expressions on her face, show she no longer has the same patience with him. This has made him more needy and demanding – which in turn puts more pressure on his Mum and worsens her responses to him. It becomes a vicious circle.

I’ve been surprised at how much this has affected my relationship with Jack. When Al is more difficult, Jack pushes me away. Al will snap at Jack, Jack will say Dad is no good and he doesn’t want me near. Conversely, when Al is good, Jack seems to scramble to reconnect to me, seeking more interaction than normal.

I must admit I was actually expecting these sorts of difficulties to turn up after the birth – not before. I’ve been steeling myself to face such hurdles in March and beyond, and I missed the fact they had arrived already. I knew the second pregnancy would likely be harder for Al, but I hadn’t expected it to be quite as demanding on her as it has been.

Posted by Doug at 7:51 AM

I added some of our own hard rubbish to the growing piles adorning the street. Within a couple hours half of it had disappeared into the back of vans and hatchbacks.

There is an interesting mix of scavengers out and about. There’s the professional type in white vans, usually in their 20’s and 30’s of ethnic persuasion, who turn up early and quickly pick over the piles taking the best bits and pieces. They are followed by the pensioner aged blokes, driving old and worn out cars piled high with worn out looking junk. Later in the day you have the families and P platers – who pick over whatever is left. I understand it is illegal, but the people don’t seem to spare a glance at the houses or the loud barking dogs. They just go about the business of collecting junk.

I wonder at how much is destined for EBAY, second hand shops, garage sales or weekend markets.

I’m mindful that I didn’t remark earlier on the influence Al’s work is having on the load and pressure she is under. As soon as she announced her pregnancy there seemed to have been a mad rush to dump as many difficult projects on her plate as possible, to save the rest of the team from having to do them when she is on maternity leave. They did something similar last time.

I guess it is an acknowledgement of the fact they view her as the better person for some of these jobs. It is also however thoughtless of them - piling stress onto a pregnant woman. If it doesn’t improve after Christmas, she has decided to hand back some of the projects.

It is the three pronged stresses which are making it harder for Al this time – pregnancy, work, and Jack combined. Last time it was only two.

Posted by Doug at 5:49 PM

Tonight while waiting to fall asleep, Jack again volunteered to Al - “I don’t like daddy”.

It doesn’t matter how you explain the reasons for that, it still leaves you uncomfortable, and it still hurts. Sadly – given how sensitive Jack is, I suspect I am going to be hearing that a lot for the next twenty odd years.

There are two things Jack is unhappy about with his Dad. The first is that I am very often the one who enforces his discipline. The second is that I generally refuse to play by Jack’s rules – which come down to doing exactly and only what he tells you, exactly as he tells you.

I think it is incredibly important that we give Jack clear and understood boundaries, and set an expectation that naughtiness won’t just be ignored or accepted. It is certainly not the easiest road to take, but I think we have been doing a good job of it so far. I believe Jack is, and will be, a better person for it.

The whole process gets much more difficult however if – instead of learning from the discipline, Jack just gets lost in thinking about how much he dislikes me right now. I really don’t know what the solution for that is.

Posted by Doug at 11:51 PM

Today was rather challenging. It seemed to begin well enough - Jack was having a sleep in and I had gotten an early start to my work.

Then Al threw up, and again, and again. She was wretchedly sick, and not capable of taking care of Jack.

Childcare was closed for the break, we had no one that we could ask to come and help, and there was no one available to cover my work. Jack was out of sorts himself and very up and down, and I had a hayfever headache and wasn’t in the best of moods. It wasn’t pretty.

Al went to the doctors and I took Jack shopping for our Christmas lunch, and with the help of an afternoon nap from Jack, we muddled through the day. (Although that nap cost us later - Jack only dropped off to sleep at 10:30 (20 minutes later than his teary eyed and exhausted mum).)

There is no sense of achievement from getting through days like this. You just collapse into bed at the end of it, and hope that tomorrow will be better.

Posted by Doug at 11:03 PM

Jack was really excited about Christmas this year – and probably for the first time really got it. He enthusiastically helped putting up the tree and decorated it, talked about it and Santa frequently, and sung Jingle Bells over and over.

Normally we visit one family on Christmas Day, and the other a day before or after. This usually ends up being rushed, tiring, and involves lots of aggravating traffic.

This year we visited my parents on the weekend before Christmas. The traffic was good, the visit was more relaxed, and Jack got to spend some quality time with his Grandparent’s and cousins.

Collecting his presents

Playing hungry hippo’s with two of his cousins

The visit also had the added benefit that he received some of his gifts early – giving him plenty of time to make the most of them.

On Christmas EVE Jack made chocolate chip cookies with his mum to leave out for Santa, along with some Fruit Loops (at his insistence) and the obligatory carrots. He then watched the carols with his mum, and took a little while to drop off to sleep due to his excitement.

We had a good Christmas day at home – Jack opened all his presents, and then played with all of them one by one across the day. We had a nice meal, and were really able to relax and enjoy the day.

He makes short work of unwrapping presents now

Surveying the collected loot from parents and Santa

Two days after Christmas we travelled down to Al’s family for a BBQ. Jack got more presents, and handled things ok.

All told, this was one of the more relaxed and enjoyable Christmas’s we have had for many years. Jack was able to take in and appreciate his gifts, and his interactions with all his extended family. His parents were able to spread out the driving and running around so that it wasn’t just a tiring hassle.

Posted by Doug at 9:52 PM

We have been pleasantly surprised by how Jack has taken to his new room. He really seems to like it and his bed. It has made us feel as though the time, effort and expense in setting it up were worthwhile.

The nighttime routine now is for Al to sit with Jack while he falls asleep, but to otherwise sleep in our bed. Jack can still wake several times through the night – resulting in Al having to get up to him. Generally however Al is able to settle him after only a couple minutes. More impressive is the fact half the time he is now sleeping right through the night.

Once it gets past around 6am he will usually come quietly into our room carrying his teddy and water cup, climb up over Al, and sleep between us for another hour.

To have come this far in less than three weeks has just been amazing.

Posted by Doug at 10:18 PM

It has been quite a struggle (primarily for Al), but getting into a pattern of making Jack sit regularly on the Potty has started to see dividends. He will now regularly wee into the Potty, and has now managed to poo four times. (The first poo in the potty occurred on Christmas Day – which Al emotionally said was the best present she could have hoped for.)

Aside one or two exceptions, he is still not telling us when he needs to go. It is however some positive steps forward – something we haven’t seen much of during this long and drawn out process of trying to toilet train him.

Posted by Doug at 10:31 PM

Another year is about to draw to a close. Once again it feels like a relief to have made it through.

A year ago we were going through the angst of Jack's back molars. This dominated the first few months of the year. It was a big relief to finally have teething behind us. The second half of the year has been dominated by toilet training. It still has a long way to go, but I feel we have made some progress in the past couple weeks of concentrated effort while we have stayed mostly at home. He has now done 4 poos on the potty (the first ever on Christmas day which made my day!) and more regularly does wees first thing in the morning, and some other times during the day. We have also now put him in pullups for most of the day. However he is still resisting initiating things, despite all the positive praise, rewards, stickers, lollies, chocolates, and present offerings.

The second half of the year has also been for me dominated by coping with the 2nd pregnancy. It is a mixture of being thrilled about being pregnant, and coping with the day-to-day exhaustion, mood swings and lower tolerance. We found out some blood test results recently which indicated my iron levels have dropped very low (and vitamin D still low) which while of course is very worrying in case it has had any impact on the baby, at least gave a reason behind the extra tiredness this time around (which I was mainly blaming on busyness, and sleep issues). Hopefully the extra supplements I am taking will soon remedy the situation, as I approach the end of the pregnancy.

On positive notes, Jack has had a fantastic transition into his new room. He regularly sleeps through the night, and otherwise often only wakes once or twice. Occasionally he cries and yells but mostly he walks calmly into our room carrying his teddy bear and water bottle, and after a quick cuddle allows me to walk him back, and falls promptly back to sleep. He still requires me to sit in the room with him as he falls asleep, so that is the final hurdle I am now working on. Considering it was only a few months ago that he would only go to sleep attached to me, and spend only part of the night in his cot bed and the rest with me, he has come a long way in a relatively short time. (Although it has required solid and consistent work from me to get this far.)

A year ago, we were really worried about Jack's social side, given he wasn't interacting much with other kids at childcare. Now a year on, he has moved from parallel play, to directly playing with other kids, and has made some solid friendships. This has helped him enjoy his childcare experience so much more. It is also a big relief for us.

Jack is also continuing to develop his skills from his Gymbaroo, swimming, and ready, steady, go activities. He has increased his confidence and participation in all these activities, and adjusted well to doing swimming and ready, steady, go by himself. From the very clingy kid he has always been, these have been major achievements for him. He has also gained increasing confidence when playing at playcentres and parks. He also enjoys playing with cousins and friends we regularly catch up with.

He can now spend small periods of time playing by himself during the day (although still has a long way to go on the independence front). He is moving from the toddler, to the inquisitive preschooler, full of 'why' questions, observations, and still amazes us with what he can remember and how much he learns. It is really interesting to watch his mind and personality develop. He is also looking less like a toddler and more and more like a beautiful little boy.

His behaviour continues to challenge us regularly and trying to manage this (and our own reactions to it) keeps us constantly on our toes.

We have had a lovely Christmas all up this year. It was the first year he has shown some real understanding of what it was all about, and he was full of questions about Santa. It was the first year he has been brave enough to go and see Santa to get his photo taken (although he would only stand beside Santa, not sit on his knee). We were surprised when we pulled out the Christmas paraphernalia - when he saw a reindeer that sings and instantly said 'jingle bells' (the song it sings, when he hasn't seen the reindeer all year). Jingle bells continues to be his favourite Christmas carol. We were able to put the presents under the tree this year, as he understood he couldn't open then until Christmas day. He kept asking 'how many days until Christmas' for the month leading up to it.

We decided to break up the travel to our families, rather than the usual rush to do it on the day of Christmas, and the day or two before or after. We had an enjoyable trip to Doug’s family the weekend before Christmas. Jack really enjoyed the chance to play with cousins Hayley and Larissa, including going on a jumping castle at a local market (although it took a while for him to brave it). He also enjoyed some one-on-one time with his grandparents (while we went for morning tea to celebrate our 17 year anniversary of when we started going out - which is making us feel rather old!) He loves riding the bikes and cars up and down his grandparent’s driveway. He loved all the presents he received from Doug’s Family, particularly 'iron man', a transformer, and a (loud and flashing) sword.

Doug, Jack and I enjoyed a quiet Christmas day at home to ourselves. We had signs Jack was not feeling entirely well in the lead up to it. He put himself to sleep for late afternoon naps for the couple days preceding Christmas, and then didn't get to bed until around 10:30-11 (which made for very long days for me). This did allow us to watch most of the Christmas carols on Christmas Eve together. Jack was intrigued to have the candles out for it. He was most excited when he woke up at 5 in the morning, but a bit surprised not to see snow outside (given all the kids shows about Christmas show snow) even though we had been trying to explain to him that it only snows at Santa’s house. He was also disappointed that Santa and the reindeer weren't still at his house to play with him, and couldn't understand why 'silly Santa' could only come at nighttime. He did inspect the plate to see the crumbs Santa and the reindeer had left behind. He ripped into his presents quickly, and helped us rip open ours. It was lovely to see him show interest in each and every present he was given by us and Santa. During the day he focused on each one individually for a period, before moving onto the next one. He didn't get one big present this year, but a mixture of smaller ones (including Mack truck, bob the builder shed, new Thomas track components, and a totem tennis pole and bats).

Finally we headed down to my family on the Saturday after Christmas. It was a BBQ at my sister's place, and included my stepsister and a couple of family friends, as well as my brothers and their families both visiting from interstate. My sister did a great job pulling it all together, after the rest of my family returned just that day from a trip to Apollo Bay. It was the first time we were able to meet Shayla Belle, our latest niece, so that was extra special. It was great to see Jack interacting well with his cousin Thomas in playing some totem tennis. He also loved playing totem tennis, and kicking the soccer and footballs with Pa. He of course received even more presents including clothes, a Thomas computer game and cushion, a special dinosaur backpack he loves wearing and some new books that he has insisted having read to him each night. He is certainly a very lucky little boy.

It has been great to have a quiet few weeks at home to finish off the year. Unfortunately I was struck down with a really nasty 24 hour gastro bug on the first Monday of the break. However this just reinforced the need to take it easy and rest and relax as much as possible. We also feel it has been beneficial for Jack to spend some quiet time at home with his parents. Given we have such a busy schedule in general, and the extra busyness of the last few months has left us constantly worn out and on edge. It is nice for a brief respite from the normal routine and attempt to recharge our batteries.

I thought it would be really challenging to spend so much time at home (since I usually try to get out of the house at least once each day even on weekends), but for the most part it has gone better than expected. Jack has been up and down, and had a temperature and not been fully well the whole time, but hasn't been asking to go anywhere and seems mostly content at home. We spend part of each day outside enjoying his new totem tennis, spraying the plants or doing roller water painting, gardening (digging in the dirt), and playing in the sandpit. Inside, Jack has had renewed interest in drawing and colouring (with new textas, pencils and books), playing with his new play dough, as well as having the array of other new Christmas toys to keep him interested. He has also enjoyed downtime of watching his favourite TV shows, and playing games on the computer.

Who knows what the New Year will bring for us, in meeting our special second baby, and in adjusting to be a family of 4. We still have a number of things to get organised before the baby arrives, so no doubt this brief respite from normal busyness will soon change to plenty of running around again. It will certainly be a special yet demanding time ahead of us.

Posted by Al at 9:06 PM