Nine weeks today – although I’m starting to see that figure might not mean much. The books we read and the experiences we hear frequently suggest the Ultrasound visits ends up with this figure being changed.

We sat down on the bed and started reading week 10 of the pregnancy book this morning. Towards the end the phone rings (11:20am on a Saturday), and Al answers. I can hear both sides of the conversation as Al frowns and starts answering questions from an obviously fast speaking salesperson about if we are living in our own house and if we earn more than 50K a year. I frown. I hear “congratulations”, “four days free accommodation”, and then Al asks what’s the catch.

I start mumbling, “tell him we are not interested and hang up”. The conversation continues, “attend a seminar”, “a small $29 booking fee”. Al is not interrupting him, and my mumbling gets louder – I’m already annoyed at the disruption to our book reading. Al then asks if they can send us information so we can decide for ourselves – and I loudly remark that she is not to give them our address. She then indicates “we probably wouldn’t be interested at this stage”. I’m thinking – “this stage, we are never going to be interested.”

Finally she hangs up and she tersely informs me she was trying to listen while I was rudely making comments. “We get scam phone calls like that every week, you should have just hung up”; “Well, I’ve never heard one of those before, why didn’t you just answer the phone in the first case”. More comments thrown backwards and forwards, and then the tears start.

Al was justified in being annoyed with me - I just can't standed those type of callers, and find it difficult to back down in such a situation. Al's reaction however was a sign of her pregnancy - being more prone to moods. The non pregnant Al would have just got angry and stormed off - without the tears. ;)

I’m going to have to try and be more tolerant and patient. (I just really can’t stand those annoying callers…)

Posted by Doug at 5:47 PM

Didn’t sleep well last night – tossed and turned as if being tormented by bed bugs. Woke with a sinus headache a bit before 6am, and had to get up and try to find relief with a shower. Managed to finish off our Christmas shopping, watched a video, and mowed & cleaned up the front lawn during the morning. Finally started to feel better after lunch, spending the afternoon watching motor sport on TV and reading the Sunday Paper. This evening there was nothing on TV, so I called the family to say hi. Al’s family called her, and we both pottered around chatting.

Al’s mood swings have continued – whenever she is tired or (especially) when she is over due for a feed. The best word to describe her during these times is acrimonious. I am a rather typical boorish male – it seems built into me that for any effect there has to be a cause, so I often can’t just let her barbed comments go. Of course there doesn’t have to be a valid reason for her to snap or get upset, but if she didn’t have a reason before, she sure as hell has a reason after I questioned it. I must keep reminding myself it is just the hormones speaking, and to keep my mouth shut.

One of the things we discussed today was hugging. We hug each other a lot – but especially in the last 9 months or so. We wrap our arms around each other and press up close. It is the sort of hug you will only get from a partner who is both your lover and closest friend, and who loves you unconditionally. I think they have gotten better since Al has lost the weight she did. Not because she feels physically better to hug (although she does) – but because she is more comfortable with herself. One of the columnists in the Sunday paper we read is single, and often suggests (in part light heartedly) that one of the only real benefits of being in a relationship is easier access to sex. I’m thinking a truly great hug is also one of the great benefits.

Posted by Doug at 11:43 PM

(Email to Jude.) Still going well so far, so yes mainly happy, healthy, and very tired! Although I have had a few more emotional moments than usual, when Doug tries to run for cover! Start of last week though I had a mild headache start on Sunday, all day Monday, then by Tuesday turned into a screaming headache where I could barely move. So took the day off, and went and asked the doctor for some advice on what was safe to take. Now taking some medication that finally got rid of it, although of course I feel guilty taking anything at all. Would be nice if I could have sailed through without drugs. Stomach still seems very sensitive to anything slightly out of the ordinary I try eating, so whether I like it or not I have to stick fairly close to my restricted diet.

Still keeping things a secret and hoping no one picks up on anything. Had lunch with my mum today - first time I have seen her in person since I found out. Hopefully she and everyone else haven't picked up on anything as yet. In some ways I can't wait to tell everyone, in other ways I am just enjoying having the space to enjoy it between Doug and I, and yourself and Irene, without having to cope with the inundation of well wishes and well-meaning advice. Anyway, just hoping all continues to go well for the next few weeks to pass out of the 'danger period'.

We almost have to keep reminding ourselves that it is real - throwing up would definitely make it feel more real I think (but I am really thankful I'm not going through that). I feel like I have a little hot water bottle inside me. I am usually always cold, whereas now I am glowing warm all the time. Doug is enjoying that while it lasts!

Other than the Christmas shopping, I have continued to try and keep our weekends quiet and keep a low profile generally, rather than do too much socialising. So far it is working pretty well, surprising considering the time of year. I have my work Christmas party this Thursday night (dinner at a Japanese restaurant - just hope I can find something I can stomach), otherwise it is all pretty clear to Christmas at this stage.

Posted by Al at 5:14 PM

I inherited my mother’s night owl traits, and my father’s tendency to rise well before dawn. My normal weekday routine is to head to bed after 11pm, and to wake with the alarm at a 1/4 to 5. I can normally live happily on that – but I do need a couple extra hours of sleep over the weekend. Because of the sinus headaches on Saturday and Sunday, I didn’t get those extra hours. That has knocked me a bit.

I tried to go to bed early last night to catch up – but just lay there awake until after my normal bedtime. Requiring relatively little sleep should hold me in good stead for living with a new born. Finding it difficult to catch up on lost sleep is going to make life difficult!

Posted by Doug at 12:01 AM

Boy – you do not want to get in between Al and food at the moment. Whenever she is tired and hungry she is particularly moody. She has been close to tears at least once each day so far this week. This is all fine – I certainly can’t blame her, and I am not complaining. But, it does bring back to mind one of the earlier concerns I had when thinking about having a baby.

When Al is in one of those emotional states (and I’ve been too stupid to notice the warning signs), it can hurt. I love my wife very much – and know she loves me. As such it is painful to have her turn on me – eye’s afire with contempt / hate / viciousness / despair / sorrow – and spiel out whatever unreasoned, irrational or completely valid trouble she has with me. She will then turn and storm off - not wanting an answer, conversation or resolution.

I hear it is the lot of most men – and I certainly can’t complain since she is more than fair and reasonable most of the time. There is certainly a concern at the back of my mind however that in the coming year, when we are both tired, hungry and in need of each other’s support, that I’ll be dancing around the barbed tongue and claws of a banshee woman.

I know. Sounds selfish. Is selfish. I guess we can only hope that is the worst we have to face.

Posted by Doug at 10:27 PM

Al was very teary-eyed by the end of the night. After the anger tends to come recognition and ... I'm not sure how to describe it... I guess she becomes extra sad at her own behaviour. She does not like being a slave to her hormones. (I used hormones specifically, since it isn't really her being a slave to her emotions.)

She ate lots tonight - but it didn't provide the magic fix food has done previously in the pregnancy. Turns out she did not have breakfast today in the rush to get to a meeting at work. That was followed up by another meeting - so I think she did not eat until Lunch. I guess she is still paying for it tonight.

So we learn she needs to be rested, and have three healthy meals a day. We can try to concentrate on that.

But... just quietly, when added to her being so tired, radiating so much heat, oh, and several pregnancy tests results, I guess we have even more evidence that she is pregnant. Evidence is good. Painful. But good. :)

Posted by Doug at 11:51 PM

10 weeks today. One quarter of the way through.

Al organised a 4m skip – which arrived yesterday. I spent a couple hours last night, and a couple more this morning filling it. It was rather therapeutic digging dirt, cutting up boxes, and breaking furniture apart. Claimed back a lot of space around the house, and will find it easier to prepare the baby’s room (when we start).

During the cleanup we found some old concrete ornaments. One in particular was an old stooped wizard, who for some reason was looking sad. I was going to throw it out until Al intervened. So instead it went out into a corner of the new Fernery. I remarked to Al that the thing actually seemed to look happy there. I kid you not - there is now a smile on its face that wasn't there this morning.

Another mild headache today. Blah.

Posted by Doug at 4:34 PM

(Email from Doug) Jack is English, and comes from the name John. John comes from Hebrew, and means God is merciful.

Posted by Al at 8:37 AM

(Email to Irene.) We haven't bought any clothes or anything as yet. Will be exciting to start preparing the room and buying stuff though. We didn't want to start doing any of that until after the first trimester is over so we haven't made any plans yet. We aren't thinking too much beyond getting through it and making the announcements. We could start shopping in the post Christmas sales, but we haven't started doing any research on brands, features, etc, which we feel we need to do a bit of first. Jude has been sending me lots of brochures in the mail for things, and is suggesting she wants to take us shopping to help choose items.

We had also organised a skip over the weekend, which Doug filled up with old furniture, lots of cardboard boxes, rubbish from garden, etc. Feels good to have that done, as it is junk we have had building up over a number of years, to the point where one of our spare rooms was virtually full of all this stuff. It was also something we needed to do before we can start preparing the baby room since we will need to relocate items into it.

Had a hair appointment on Saturday morning. Asked them whether having my hair coloured is an issue while being pregnant, and they said it is fine. Have the physio session tonight at Knox Private that goes over the physical changes to expect, and some exercises to do etc, so that should be interesting.

Feeling tired and headachy again yesterday and today though (mainly hay fever again I suspect) so that's not so good.

Posted by Al at 4:52 PM

Al went off to an information night put on by the Hospital on keeping fit during the pregnancy. At the time it was booked they had hinted that partners would have to wait outside while exercises were done, so Al went alone. She came back all bright eyed and bushy tailed. The women there were between 6 and 20 weeks pregnant, and she really enjoyed chatting to some of them. Seems many of them told their families well before 13 weeks. She said she is almost disappointed that she has to go back to work tomorrow, and act all normal again. In the end I could / should have come along, as the other male partners were never asked to leave the room and there was a lot of interesting information to take in. Good to see her so happy.

Oh, I forgot to say. We were both really happy this last weekend. With where we are at, what we have done, who we are with, and where we are going. While that is normal, we actually sat down and talked a lot about it, reflected, hugged, and smiled at each other. I'm very happy with Al.

Posted by Doug at 11:02 PM

(Email to Irene.) I enjoyed the information session last night - lots of practical information and I learnt quite a bit. The physio also did a quick check of everyone's stomach muscles and said mine were very good. Was a pity Doug didn't come. They had advertised it as really just for women, and while partners were welcome they'd been asked to leave the room for 2nd half while we did exercises. In the end though she just talked about it all and we didn't actually do the exercises, and about half the people did bring their partners to absorb the info as well.

It was also exciting to be in a room with other mums to be. Had a chance to chat to a couple, and think we all enjoyed being able to compare notes on how things were going so far. Makes me look forward to the ongoing classes and groups in future (whereas last night was just a one-off). The whole thing reminded me it is all real again, whereas it has moved into the background a bit of late.

Will consider in the New Year (in 2nd trimester) to look at some exercise classes - either preggie belly and/or water aerobic type classes. Last night made me think how wonderful it would be if I was not working, and could just spend all your time focused on your health, and rest, and exercise, and talking about it with other interested people - sigh. Born in the wrong generation I guess!! Although of course at least we have choices in our generation that past generations didn't have.

Posted by Al at 3:54 PM

Worked from home today. Two taxi rides and $600 odd dollars later, one minor service and maintenance done on suspension and steering. Car feels good – and should be ready for all the driving we will be doing over Christmas and New Years. Both Al and I have the same realisation that we need to do these sorts of things before the baby is born. Afterwards money and priorities are likely to change.

Just watched the second of the LOTR ROTK extended DVDs. Watched the first DVD last night. Enjoyed, but left me feeling a little surreal. My whole reality has been given a little shake with what is going on. I sort of feel I am being the same old me – but know that what I am happy with and used to will change, as will I. It is a slightly strange place to be. I feel it more keenly just now after being immersed in ROTK for the last couple hours.

Posted by Doug at 11:52 PM

11 weeks today. Read the description of what we should expect in the week ahead while relaxing on the bed. We then headed out and spent several thousand dollars on outdoor furniture, computer bits and pieces, and various home knickknacks. We might as well enjoy it while we can! Many of these purchases have caused my To Do List to get even longer. Glue this, seal that, treat the other thing.

Sigh.

Al is really looking forward to the ultrasound, and has been counting down the days. She is out at the moment – watching a movie with her brother. We will both be happy when we no longer have to hide or keep the news secret.

Had lots of takeaway this week. Al’s been extra tired - and also had a craving for one thing or another on takeaway menus. Sadly for the most part those things she craved did not react well once they hit her stomach. Her can’t seem to break her diet of the last year, even when she wants (and is allowed) to.

Posted by Doug at 8:48 PM

Watched a couple videos, went shopping and put petrol in Al’s car, mowed the lawns, did some gardening, put up some tool hooks (teaching myself how to use a hammer drill, and being impressed with the battery in my Bosch IXO cordless screwdriver), etc. Productive day. Al moped around feeling sad and sorry for herself, suffering from a hay fever headache. As we sat down for dinner tonight I asked if she was starting to feel better. She said yes. I wasn’t surprised – because I was starting to feel unwell.

Dam hay fever tag teaming; dam it to hell.

Tried to take some photos this evening of ‘slim Al’. She looked pregnant. We decide to try again soon, but not just after we eat dinner. The window of opportunity might already have passed. Less than 48 hours to the ultrasound. Struggling to work out how I am going to explain yet another spell away from work.

Watched DVD 1 and 2 of the extended Two Towers last night. Yes I know I’m going backwards. The extra bits and pieces in this and ROTK actually made the whole thing fit better. I enjoyed both movies more because of them. Had planned to watch the Fellowship of the Ring tonight, but no longer feeling in the right mood for it.

Posted by Doug at 9:53 PM

I'm not sure if I have mentioned it here before, but Al tends to lack in the practicality department. She is very intelligent, has a much better memory than I do, quick at comprehension, has lots of empathy, etc. There is nothing wrong with her. It is just that ... well ... it must be her parents fault. Shouldn't they have taught their daughter the practical things you should just know in life? Tonight I watched as an Ad came on TV that always annoys her. She stepped the volume down to nothing. When the Ad finished she stepped the volume back up again. I asked why she didn't just use the Mute button. She didn't know there was one...

Posted by Doug at 11:20 PM

(Email to Irene.) Just back from ultrasound. All went well. I had to have s blood test (checking for Down's syndrome) which we won't get the results back for until we see the OB on the 4th of January. He said however that there was less than a 1 in 3000 chance of it, so no need to worry too much. Turns out that I am 12 weeks 5 days (rather than 11 weeks, 4 days as per the standard calculation), so due date is now the 1st of July. :) Works out perfectly with announcements at Christmas to our families, since 13 weeks is at the end of the 1st trimester :) Also with the 12th week being one of the critical weeks when miscarriage can occur, it is better having that week behind me now. So good news all around.

Was a 'flat' view rather than 3D, so not as clear to make things out as we had hoped, more just the general outline. Bub is currently 6.33cm! Amazing to see it move around so much as the doctor pushed and prodded it to get into the right positions for the various tests. Explains also why I appear to have started showing in past few days. Wearing baggier clothes to work and hoping that no one notices anything. ;-) I haven't noticed anyone looking closely or strangely at me, and no one has asked anything. Anyway, happy and relieved that all went well. We were able to take a video in for them to record it for us, so we can study it more closely tonight!

Posted by Al at 4:44 PM

(Email to Doug.) I'm trying not to sit here with big grin on my face :)

Posted by Al at 5:04 PM

(Email From Doug) Good news - looking closer to the scan I've just realised the eyes are not what I thought they were (thank goodness!) Now that I realise what I am looking at, it definitely looks as if it has my chin! *lol*

I'm feeling fine. I'm glad it was so quick to find and point out things against. It certainly feels a little odd knowing that yes, it really is real. Also, while he wasn't the first health professional to call me "the dad" (when he pointed to where I should sit), it was the first time it had real meaning to me.

Ok, all good news. Hooray.

Posted by Al at 5:23 PM

Last night Al took several hours to get to sleep – thinking on and excited about today. I, in my normal way, did my best just to ignore it. If I didn’t think about it, I’d have less to stress about.

Work was annoying. We have a couple lots of ad-hoc coverage work coming up. I’ve already indicated we simply cannot resource it – but management and the sales person simply took me off their distribution list on the topic. (To the point they scheduled me to do a site visit, but never told me...) They are in for a huge surprise when it comes around to start time, and I shrug and say it is not my concern.

One of my colleagues (who has had an interesting career) showed me some of the video he had taken while deployed at Mogadisu during his stint in the Navy. The IT Support guy had converted it from tape to CD for him (which is why it was at work). Interesting where meteorology can take you.

Left work early – no one asked why. Picked up Al, found the place, a car park, and then the ultrasound suite. Then we waited, and waited, and waited some more. 50 minutes later and finally an older operator leads us in. He points at the table and says, “The mum goes there”, then points at a chair and continues, “The Dad goes there”. I guess the medical professionals we have spoken to have referred to me at times as the ‘father to be’, but I think that’s the first time anyone has referred to me as Dad.

There’s a TV screen for us to watch, and we hand him a Video Tape so he can record the ultrasound (which includes audio of our talking, to our later surprise). He puts the .. errr .. scanner(?) down on Al’s tummy and bang, there’s a baby. No searching around required - didn’t have time to feel worried.

Everything was apparently fine – although we had to watch the tape later a couple times to work out exactly where the eyes and head were at various times! From the measurements taken Al is actually 12 weeks and 4 days on. Al’s response – “excellent, one less week I have to be at work!” The new adjusted delivery date is July 1st. We assume that will change the next time we have an ultrasound. He didn’t indicate the sex – we asked, but thought he said you couldn’t tell since the baby is only 6.4cm long. Listening to the tape, what he actually did was fob us off with “nah, you don’t want to know that.”

Al spoke later to her pregnancy support friends (who really have been fantastic) - they indicated telling the sex of the baby requires measuring a certain part of the hips, and that needs the baby being at a particular angle. We are obviously going to have to be more forceful.

Last of all they did another blood test, like the ultrasound, this was also to test for Down syndrome. While they forward the results to our doctor and OB, if there is a problem, they will most likely contact us direct. (They also gave a very good response when they heard who our OB is going to be. I hope we like him half as much as everyone else appears to.) They indicate based on what they have seen, we only have a 1 in almost 3000 chance of the child having Down syndrome. Sad to think 1 in almost 3000 have to face that reality. The number is comforting enough that we will basically put it out of our minds.

After not being forceful enough to have the babies sex revealed, we also made the mistake of indicating Al was a private patient. I believe the blood test will be charged to us, where as it would have been free if we were ‘a public patient’. Something we will have to be much more careful with, since our private health insurance only covers the hospital.

So that’s it – the baby is real. We saw the arms and legs waving, the eyes and mouth, and the saw and heard the beating heart. It was a touch scary. Good. But scary. We are both very happy.

Posted by Doug at 11:47 PM

 

Three Months Pregnant, but not really showing.

Posted by Doug at 10:15 PM

13 weeks today. I think that means the end of the first trimester – a milestone in itself of sorts. The book said the nausea should start to clear at around this time. Since Al still hasn’t thrown up once, I suspect her nausea might start about now. Actually, she is feeling sick today, but that is probably more her disagreeing with something else we have eaten recently. Poor wife, poor poor wife.

A week ago we were humming and haring about whether or not she was showing. The last two or three days we know she is showing. There is a pronounced roundish mound very low on her stomach – which is obvious depending on what she is wearing. Is it even more obvious when you feel it with your hands. I also raised the issue earlier on about the breast size, and not being sure they were getting bigger. Yep – no doubts - definately bigger now too.

Probably lucky we start telling people tomorrow. We have the method chosen (actually, we had that done a couple months ago), and I did the small amount of preparation required for it to work a little earlier this week.

Speaking of the week. It has been going slowly... oh so slowly. Yesterday I was remarking at work, “I want to know how the hell it can only be Wednesday. It feels like it should be Friday... really..." Today I was just grunting, and asking if the week had finished yet.

Sister in law is staying tonight. Al isn’t in the mood to cook, so she is picking up takeaway. The sister in law is getting here late, so she will be getting an SMS telling her to pick something up for herself at the nearby shops. Not sure what she will think of that – but my main concern is Al is feed and happy. We don’t want to go back to hungry hormonal Al if we can help it.

Posted by Doug at 7:32 PM

Al's moods seem to have got a lot better. Extra care to get rest, eat well, and maybe coming to the end of the 1st trimester.

Posted by Doug at 6:58 AM

Been a busy couple days. The last day of work before the Office closed over Christmas and New Years was a bit rushed. Management ordered in Christmas cakes for morning tea, pizza in for lunch, and let everyone go early. I picked up some replacement computer hardware on the way home, and walked in the front door a bit after 3. Al and her sister were already there preparing the Christmas Eve meal.

A bit after 6 her Mother, Step Father and a brother arrived. We had captured a couple frames of the ultrasound video and printed them out. A bit after the arrival Al handed a folded piece of paper to her Mum and said that now the landscaping was done, here were our next plans. In true form my mother in-law busied herself with some unimportant task for a few moments, leaving Al wondering if she was actually going to look! When she did it took only a few moments for her to quickly look up and respond in a slightly surprised and odd tone “A Baby? A Baby?” They all congratulated us, with Al’s Step Father (who has raised her basically all her life) being particularly happy. The meal went off well, gifts were exchanged, and then Al went with her family to the Carols. While there she was able to speak with her last brother on the phone (he is in Perth), and pass on the news. I stayed at home running three loads through the dishwasher, and hand washing another two sinks worth of dirty cutlery!

We woke very early on Christmas day, I gave Al a small gift, and we headed off to my Parent’s home (a 2.5hr trip). Using a copy of the same printout, I gave the spiel about it being our next plans, and saying hopefully it would be done around her birthday. Mum was expecting more garden plans, took a moment to register, and looked up with a expression of shock, confusion and joy, and asked “Really?” There were tears from my parents, lots of hugging, and beaming faces. We exchanged gifts, and had a fantastic Christmas lunch. I told two of my sisters direct, and another over the phone. One showed no interest aside a cursory congratulation (did not even mention it to Al the next day), one said that was good news, and the last was genuinely happy for us.

We expected the responses we got from both families, but not always who ended up being more or less interested. All told we were very happy with how it all went down, and really appreciated both our parent’s reactions.

We drove home today, pretty tired and looking forward to a couple relaxed days. It was actually a particularly good year for gifts – being useful, thoughtful, appreciated, good to receive etc. All told, probably one of the best Christmases we have had in the last decade or more.

We both have a handful of friends, old Uni mates and work colleagues left to tell, but will keep these announcements similarly low key. This will be done over the next couple weeks – in particular during a couple social events we plan to attend, or otherwise by e-mail.

Posted by Doug at 9:43 PM

We have both appreciated the two public holidays. Each day we slept in a bit, hit the shops early, arrived home before lunch and relaxed. We picked up a pile of Books, DVDs, CDs and Prints at the Post Christmas Sales. Al figures she’ll appreciate a stockpile of such things towards the end of the pregnancy.

Updated the budget tonight. Couldn’t account for several hundred dollars. Not surprising considering the large amount we have spent over the last hectic month, and it would not normally have been a concern. Once we go onto one wage however this would be a problem. We really need to get into the habit of being more disciplined. We both agreed to try from now on.

One of the prints we picked up was 60% off due to a small amount of damage to the frame. Today I spent $15 on trying to repair it, sanding down the area and re-staining. Trying is the important word here. I’ll return to the hardware store later this week and try another shade of stain. Figure we have another 7 attempts before we use up the purchase price savings on repair materials. Something satisfying about doing this, and hanging up frames and getting them to align and sit balanced across the walls.

Who would have thought telling people would be so awkward. Al and I chatted about the family reveal today, and our thoughts on who else we tell and how. Telling our families highlighted an issue – for a variety of reasons, not all our friends or work colleagues are going to be interested. Passing the news on to someone who goes “Oh, that’s nice” and changes the subject is simply uncomfortable. At the same time, some people will be upset if we don’t tell them direct. We are going for a very low key approach, telling only a handful of people direct, a dozen or so via e-mail, and leaving the rest to word of mouth or as the situation arises.

Al is waiting for her boss to return from holidays next week before telling her work. Since we are in the same industry, I’ll hold off till then as well. Most of our closest friends will be told over the next week, but in particular at the New Years Party we will be attending this Friday, a social get together on Sunday, and a Wedding the following weekend.

Posted by Doug at 12:15 AM

(Email to Mel.) The Carols was definitely enjoyable, and Anthony's 'The Prayer' was the absolute highlight. Worth going along to one year if you spend Christmas in Melbourne. We had a lovely Christmas with our families... especially memorable since we announced that we are expecting our first child, due start of July!!

We had a photo printed from the ultrasound, so the way we told them was to hand the picture to each of our mothers with the comment that it was of our next plans, and then waiting to see how long it took them to work out what they were looking at. Didn't take either of them long.

My mum just exclaimed 'ooh it's a baby'. Melissa was looking on, so she then called out to Dad and Mal that I was pregnant. Plenty of excitement all around, with a few comments that we had jumped in ahead of Brendan and Donna.

Doug's Mum said something like 'really', then rushed to hug us both and burst into tears. Doug's Dad was out of room at time, so he walked in while this was going on and asked what was happening. Doug told him and he exclaimed 'about time' or something like that, and started crying also (which was most unexpected – I think Doug's mum might have triggered him off). So they were both obviously very happy. Told Doug's sisters one by one as we saw them, and the last one over the phone. So all in all it was a lovely Christmas.

It was good to then get home and have a couple of days for recovery before coming back to work. We both got lots of lovely pressies this year. We also hit the sales in the past couple days - bought lots of books, CDs, DVDs (I'm stockpiling a bit in readiness for being at home for maternity leave) and also a few extra pictures for our house.

I haven't been sick at all - just a bit of nausea, and mainly just really tired, so I have been hibernating at home a bit of late vegging out reading books and watching tv.

So now I'm into the 2nd trimester, and I can start gradually telling people our news. Will tell some of Doug's friends at a BBQ on New Years Eve, then some of the Uni friends at Amanda and Shawn's BBQ, and then at Tam's wedding. Haven't yet told work (since we were obviously waiting to tell our families first), and my managers are away this week, so will tell them after I return from my week's leave. Nice to be able to relax and enjoy my week off first anyway, then start the new year off with people knowing. Will be nice to have it out in the open in some ways, although Doug and I have also enjoyed getting used to the news ourselves first before it becomes widely known.

Posted by Al at 9:30 AM

It has been a long but productive day. Worked from home as the office was closed. Also managed to fit in a haircut, getting my tyres checked (booked in tomorrow for two new ones), picked up a couple more stains for the picture frame (both did not match, so ended up sanding down and simply putting down a couple clear gloss coats, print is now up on the wall), packed away the Christmas tree, etc al.

Al fired off an e-mail today to one of her old friends – so someone else knows. It was a good reaction. We might have to keep a running count of good vs bad. Al went out tonight to the movies with one of her pregnancy buddies. She managed to get through the whole movie without having to go to the toilet, and came home awake and cheerful. We are not sure if this is a sign of being in the second trimester, or that it is just the infectious enthusiasm of our friend.

Posted by Doug at 12:16 AM

14 Weeks today.

Both mothers answered Al’s questions about their pregnancies over the Christmas break. Turns out while both felt nauseous at times neither actually threw up. Maybe it runs in both families. My mum takes the view that pregnancy is normal and natural, and the less you carry on about it and simply take it in your stride, the better you will be through it. She had the same view about the birth. I guess that works in with Al’s view of simply ignoring various aspects of it until she actually has to face them. The selective ignorance is bliss approach.

Both Al and I value her opinion – although it can be hard to wrench it out of her as she does not tend to offer advice unless asked (or begged of) as she does not like to interfere. Given she has had four children, has a very practical outlook on life, and has spent years working as a hospital cleaner (and tells great stories), we are glad to have her as a support.

The book we read weekly gave us some great advice last time – to realise that people’s reactions to the pregnancy news is often not about us, but about them. We have certainly seen this in many of the people we have told. The view has helped us come to terms with the less enthused family members, and also made it easier to accommodate the “this is how it is / should be done” comments.

On that last comment – we have actually been pleasantly surprised at the effort of our friends and family to keep their comments to advice and not actually instruction. Al and I are strongly independent – and I get the sense that most people assume we will consider their views and experiences, but then make our own decision.

Posted by Doug at 8:29 AM