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Sunday, November 11, 2007
We have had a busy couple weeks full of the usual activities, plus a
visit to Grandparent Q’s new house, visiting a school fete, attending a
1 year olds Birthday Party, throwing out a skip worth of old furniture
and junk from the spare room, and getting stuck into the garden.
Recently Jack seems to be involving his Dad more in his play –
particularly anything to do with cars and chasing. Dad doesn’t have
quite the same stamina (mentally or physically) as Jack, so will often
limit chasing games to a certain number of laps of the house. This
evening when called in to play cars I indicated I could only play for a
couple minutes.
Jack held up 4 fingers and said, “Only three laps round and round”.
Posted by Doug at 6:27 PM
Monday, November 12, 2007
It has been awhile between posts for me. It just
seems to have been a really busy month. Highlights for me included
getting my new car and having a girl's weekend away to Daylesford.
Having my first night away from Jack was quite a milestone for all of
us. I enjoyed the time out with my friends to recharge the batteries a
little. Apart from the sleep issues, Jack and Doug seemed to have
enjoyed their weekend together. I have noticed since that Jack has been
looking to interact and play more with his Dad, so it seems the extra
bonding time for them has been beneficial. Other highlights of the month
have been visiting both sets of grandparents, including 'grandma's new
house', having grandma Q visit the Duck room with Jack for a
grandparent's morning tea, and attending a first birthday party for Max
in the park.
Summary of Jack at 28 months:
. Jack has had his first exposure to playing games
on Mum's computer. Although he hasn't fully mastered the mouse as yet,
he is excited and enthusiastic to 'work on Mum's computer', and it is
now part of our daily morning and evening routine. It actually helps me
get him enthused about getting upstairs so that is a bonus for me also!
. Jack has received a couple extra stickers from
swimming this month - dog paddling and jumping in confidently (holding
onto mum's hands). His swimming teacher has remarked on how much more
relaxed he is with swimming this term.
. Jack seems to be having more than his fair share
of tumbles and bruises of late. This leaves us frazzled and worried, but
other parents of boys assure us this is perfectly normal and to be
expected.
. Jack has been a bit out of sorts of late, and is
demanding his dummy regularly through the day - more so than usual. His
dummy does seem to give him a great deal of comfort.
. Jack has started enjoying taking a soft toy to
bed with him. His favourite are a small bear (from Grandma C), a small
koala (from Grandma Q), and a little Winnie the Pooh. While I had hoped
this might help him with sleeping by himself, it has more given him an
extra reason to wake up and cry if they fall out of bed. Having said
that, he does seem to be sleeping better in his cot at night for longer
of late. Sometimes he only wants to hear our voice or be patted, rather
than be picked up straight away to come to bed with mum.
. Jack loves walking around the small retaining
wall in the front yard, 'mowing' our front lawn with his toy lawnmower,
or watching Dad 'playing with his lawnmower'. Our outside play is pretty
evenly split between the front and back of the house at the moment. He
also loves going inside while insisting I stay out - saying 'just back
in a minute Mum' – the coming out again and repeating over and over. He
gets very frustrated if I follow him inside.
. Jack has received some new car related toys – a
Garage, Fire Station, Recycling Depo, Road Mat etc – which he loves. He
has quickly discovered that Dad plays cars much better than Mum, and is
calling Dad to play more often. After Doug played with him briefly last
night Jack announced it a 'very good fun play with Dad'.
Posted by Al at 7:10 PM
Sunday, November 18, 2007
I lost my temper and yelled at Jack the other day.
I was helping Al by getting Jack into his car seat. He decided that I
was assisting too much, threw a tantrum, and dropped onto the ground.
Occasionally if Jack feels we are helping him too much he will reverse
the process and start again – insisting on doing it “all by self”. This
time however he threw a tantrum to get his own way – and that is
something we don’t allow him to think will work. As there wasn’t any
time to try the usual distraction techniques, we had a clash.
I encouraged him several times to climb into the car – as did Al from
the driver’s seat, but he just continued the tantrum. I then tried to
pick him up – but Jack used his innate ability to make his shoulders
disappear, and it took some awkward juggling to manage to place him in
the car seat.
He continued his tantrum however - arching his back so that I could not
strap him in – and putting himself in a position to slide out the chair.
After a short battle of flailing arms, legs and wills, I yelled at him.
While I have of course had stern words with Jack - I have not yelled at
him often. When I have it has usually been from a position of fear –
when I’ve just spotted him about to do something dangerous. I can’t
think of many times I have yelled at him in anger – and certainly not
right in his face.
It obviously didn’t stop Jack throwing a tantrum – although I could see
from the look on his face that it had surprised him, and he did slowly
allow himself to be strapped in. Al then was able to drive off to
Gymbaroo – and said later Jack was over it quickly and back to his
normal self.
I didn’t get over it so quickly.
Society seems to have an expectation that the moment you become a parent
you must suddenly be perfect. Of course people are not perfect –
particularly when it comes to controlling their emotions.
I am pretty mindful of my emotions around Jack. I try to give him a big
smile and a happy face every time he comes to me. I try to be positive
about the things he does and achieves. I try not being angry or
impatient with him. I'm a realist - and assume there will be plenty more
times I yell at Jack in anger. It was sad however noting the first time.
Posted by Doug at 10:52 PM
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Jack was more demanding than usual this afternoon while I took care of
him. The moment Al got home however something broke inside of him, and
the behaviour ramped up. Nothing made him happy, and before long he was
distraught.
It seems a while since I have heard him crying uncontrollably. Poor
little guy. Obviously not feeling well, had been bottling it up inside
and released it in a rush once his Mum got home. Poor Al - that must
have been a shock to her system to arrive home to.
They have gone to bed extra early. Not sure he will go down to sleep –
but after some furious protests, it has gone quiet upstairs. He was
obviously in great need of some quiet cuddle time with mum.
It is not easy this parenting thing.
I asked a question at Childcare today and got an answer that was rather
illuminating - and left Al and I wondering why we hadn’t asked much
earlier.
Jack rarely says hello or goodbye to other kids or his careers at
childcare. It can be a bit embarrassing when the room calls out “Bye
Jack”, and he just stares blankly back at them. However he constantly
says hello and goodbye to us and his grandparents.
Both Childcare centers have confused us by remarking on how many words
Jack knows, and how well he can talk – a long time after we had just
considered it normal. He talks constantly at home.
Today I remarked on both these things, and asked how much Jack spoke and
interacted with everyone at the centre. It turns out he doesn’t.
He will parallel play with other kids – which means stand with or next
to them – but he doesn’t normally play directly with them, and rarely
speaks with them. He also generally doesn’t speak during group
activities. They said he seems to be very shy – so they leave him to
decide if he wants to get involved in activities, or leave him to step
back and just watch, which he often prefers. They said he does tend to
get more involved in movement activities.
He does speak with the carers – but I think more when it is one on one,
and I don’t think it was overly common until recently. That is why they
have been surprised when he will suddenly come out with full sentences
and a comprehension that they hadn’t realised he was capable of. Today
the career remarked that Jack noticed a car pull up while they were
playing, and he ran over to her and said “Josh’s Daddy is here” – just
as Josh’s Dad got out of the car.
He seems to love childcare –they always report that he has great days,
and he says the same in the car on the way home. We just hadn’t realised
he was still so shy. It breaks your heart.
That might explain why he talks so much at home – because he has been
quiet all day. It might also explain why he constantly directs Al and I
in how he wants us to play, and what he wants us to repeat. Maybe he
just needs to feel in control of his environment.
The Centre is already working to encourage Jack out of his shyness, but
remarked that kids tend to just come out of it in their own time. I
suspect if not encouraged, Jack might prefer not to come out of it.
Posted by Doug at 7:39 PM
Thursday, November 22, 2007
We were startled awake last night by the motion alarm on Jack’s bed
sounding through the baby monitor. Al realised what it was first and
flew out of bed, getting tangled in bedding and half stumbling in her
rush to get to Jack’s room. (Upon reflection – it did look rather
comical.)
Just as she rushed towards the door Jack walked in. Seems - for the
first time – he had come looking for his human mattress instead of
yelling or crying for it.
Posted by Doug at 2:05 PM
Mowing the front nature strip
Posted by Doug at 10:15 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Jack still goes to sleep at nights on his human mattress. Al generally
then usually transfers him to his cot and comes downstairs to catch up
on TV shows – until Jack wakes up and cries.
Lately Al has been frustrated by how long it is taking Jack to drop off
to sleep – often over an hour with wriggling and multiple requests for
music and water. Last night in exasperation Al asked him directly why
he was taking so long to fall asleep. His reply was an eye opener…
“Because Mummy isn’t sleeping.”
Otherwise there seems to have been a bit of an improvement on the
sleeping front. Jack has recently been transferring back to Al only late
into the evening – getting as late as 4am one day last week. I’ve
witnessed him a number of times half waking in the cot, being aware of
where he is, and putting himself back to sleep anyway. He has also
continued to climb out of bed and come looking for Al or I (setting off
the mattress motion alarm in the process) – instead of just crying.
Posted by Doug at 9:24 PM
Oh - I forgot to say. One of Jack's bottom molars is 3/4 through, and
the other side is on the verge of cutting. His 4th and 3rd last baby
teeth. Thank goodness for having an excuse for his behaviour over the
last few weeks!
Posted by Doug at 9:27 PM
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