The doctor appointment is tomorrow afternoon, which I guess is when it becomes official. I assume we should also be given an idea on what local services are available, and a schedule on what we are meant to do. The books are all fine - but obviously not directed at our specific location.

Was chatting to one of the more recent employees at work today. They were once a Senior Manager at a company I also worked for, and had burnt a few bridges at the time. (Or had bridges burnt for them.) Been interesting speaking with them. I get the feeling they realise that even after a few years, that these incidents might come back to haunt them in future. Oddly they seem to be telling me their side of the story. Don't think I'm going to have much influence on things. Anyway, you can always learn from other people's experiences.

Posted by Doug at 9:19 PM

So now it is official - she's almost 5 weeks pregnant. The due date is July 9th (plus or minus a couple weeks). The doctor seemed happily surprised when we asked for a pregnancy test - I guess he normally has to deal with sick and unhappy people most of the time, so people happy to be visiting him was a good change. The busyness has also started - she gets a blood test done tomorrow; we need to visit the local hospitals during the next week, then we get the results of the test and are referred to an Obstetrician next Friday.

We plan to keep - or try to keep, things quiet until she is 12 weeks pregnant. We had a friend recently miscarriage at around 8 weeks, and we are not comfortable taking the pregnancy for granted just yet. She does plan on sharing it sooner with two of her closest girlfriends, who did the same to her when they were pregnant. I guess that is fair enough.

12 weeks pregnant is Christmas day - perfect timing to announce it to both families.

Interesting the doctor (who we were both happy with) said week 8, 12 and 16 were statistically the dangerous ones. Lots to stress and worry about. I'll leave that to later. For tonight we'll both just sit back and smile knowingly and happily at each other.

Posted by Doug at 6:18 PM

She had her blood drawn this morning for multiple tests. We get the results of almost all of them at our appointment next Friday. One test is for HIV and Hepatitis (which might take longer to get back.) It is standard procedure to test for these – but it feels odd. You felt like saying “but we are good people”. A ludicrous statement of course - these diseases don’t discriminate on whom they touch.

We have an appointment at one of the local private hospitals tomorrow morning to look at their maternity ward, and information about other ones in the area. I have no idea what questions we should ask – might have to suggest to the wife she reviews some of her books tonight.

Think I picked up a touch of food poisoning today. Had pasta from the lunch lady, but threw it out about one quarter of the way in. Too salty and just didn’t seem right. Glad the queasiness and cramps hit after I got home from work. Not pleasant.

Posted by Doug at 6:14 PM

My parents rang yesterday morning and said they were coming down for a visit. This put a hold on some of our preparations, and meant we had to curtail the pregnancy related talk. We did manage to visit our first hospital yesterday morning – a smaller private one that we both came away happy and comfortable with.

We also dropped in on one of my wife’s closest friends to share the news. We were nervous doing so (underlines just how big this all is), and felt uncomfortable talking so early in the process. However we needed (and got) information on local Obstetricians. Everyone tells us that we need to organise one as soon as possible, so we really needed some recommendations. She was a good first person to tell – she was so happy for us that she cried. She (and her husband) also had some handy tips and pamphlets for us, and will be a good source of support.

My parent’s visit went over fine and we didn’t let anything slip. We even managed (by chance) to visit the beach that we got engaged on. My wife liked the significance of that. Once they left this morning we could pull out the hidden books and pamphlets. For the rest of the day we were able to relax reading the Sunday papers, and my wife went to lunch with another friend.

Tomorrow we will try to organise a visit to a second local hospital – we have an appointment, but not until Tuesday week. We will see if they have an earlier appointment during business hours. We hope to make a decision about where to go before the end of this week. We will also contact our first obstetrician.

Posted by Doug at 7:18 PM

Al was able to change the appointment with the second local hospital. They seemed eager for us to attend an open day in a couple weeks – but we would much prefer to have the decision made by then. We check it out on Wednesday.

Al then made an appointment with one of the recommended Obstetricians. Unfortunately the receptionist didn’t seem particularly pleasant or helpful, and then booked us in on a public holiday. When Al called back to query she got someone friendlier, the date was changed, and she came away feeling a little more comfortable. The first visit is in week 13, which is after Christmas. As such we decided to put off telling family and friends until after then.

(The exception will be another one of Allison’s closest friends, who she plans on telling this weekend. The two girlfriends to be told both have small children, and will be a valuable source of information and support. They also told Allison about their own pregnancies early on, so she wanted to do the same in return. As an added bonus, I get along well with both husbands, which also gives me someone to talk to.

Hopefully by the end of our visit with the GP on Friday we will have the blood test results, and both the hospital and Obstetrician picked. That will make things a little more relaxing. Seems slightly odd though to have so long to wait before seeing the OB, so we will ask the GP what else we need to do between now and then, and possibly who we could speak to about diet and other related issues.

The main pregnancy book we are reading (separates things nicely week by week) is a little depressing for this and next week. Lots of talk about miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, which reminds us how tenuous this is. Not having actually read the pregnancy books before hand (Al did), I was surprised to note the seriousness of German measles. I knew of it, just not the dire consequences to early pregnancy. We should have had Al tested for antibodies before we started. Rather dumb of us.

Posted by Doug at 6:50 PM

Dropped in on a friend of Al’s last night. The friend is in her late 20s, and is currently living with her parents. She gets along very well with them, and is happy there. They are also happy to have her. It got me thinking about the relationship between parents and their children – and wondering what our child will think of us.

Was a busy day today, work dragged, I filled in an insurance statement for an accident I witnessed last week, organised the paperwork for one of my license renewals, and had to hurriedly back up my PC after the main hard drive crashed making sick noises. (Like the read heads hitting the centre spindle.) It is back up and running now after resetting the cables and running it cooler. I guess I’m about to be forced into rebuilding this PC – an arduous task I would prefer not to have to do at the moment.

At one point during the day one of my work colleagues was talking about a short break she was going to have with her husband. Two of the managers asked if her husband would be talking his golf clubs – to which she indicated that she certainly hoped not since they were leaving the kids behind, and that it was meant to be a romantic holiday. One of the managers indicated it only took 20 minutes to be romantic, and that left plenty of time for golf. She replied that she was lucky to get 2 minutes… Everything went quiet and we mumbled that it was too much information, she responded by saying she was sorry. I’m guessing not as sorry as her husband…

Maybe some extra tiredness, and things might smell stronger, but otherwise none of the usual signs of pregnancy so far for my wife. She says she knows she is pregnant though.

Posted by Doug at 11:58 PM

Working from home today so I can make the hospital visit. Hayfever treating me badly though, going to be a struggle.

I forgot to say that it turns out Al did raise having children with a GP before we started. She asked if she had to do anything other than go off the pill and start trying. They said no - which surprised her as she had the german measles booster shot in the back of her mind. Maybe they thought she was younger than she is (a not uncommon mistake). Reminds us that we need to be specific and push the health care people we deal with if we are uncertain or unhappy about anything.

Breakfast then work.

Posted by Doug at 9:03 AM

Visited the second hospital this afternoon. It was bigger by half than the first one, and I think we immediately felt less comfortable. It just didn’t seem as personal, or as quiet. Our third option is even bigger again, so we decided there and then we would go with the first one. Decision done.

We will ask the GP on Friday for his opinion on the OB’s servicing the first hospital, but based on a comment today, we will probably stick with the OB we already have an appointment with.

Purchased Norton Ghost 9 today and have backed up all my drives. Hard Disk is still working ok though. Maybe it was just a loose power cable? Will probably replace soon anyway.

I was very unwell this afternoon - a particularly nasty sinus headache. Only started to clear as the sun went down (a big sign it was allergy / hay fever related). I suspect this blog might scare me – by highlighting just how many of these I suffer during spring and summer.

Posted by Doug at 9:59 PM

Been unwell the last couple days. Picked up a stomach bug, which has restricted the diet to dried biscuits and lemonade. Also been suffering the usual Hay Fever headaches. I normally keep on top of those with drugs – but unfortunately they have reacted badly with my stomach. Unaddressed they have turned into afternoon migraines. Miserable.

We went back to the GP today. All the tests came back fine. Al mentioned she was on a diet recommended by a naturopath for allergies, and wondered who she could speak with to double check its suitability now that she was pregnant. Boy did that set him off! He wasn’t overly complimentary of the field, and said people should really work with their GP’s on such problems. We had to just grin and bear the lecture. It wasn’t worth highlighting 4 years of raising the problem at the same clinic had only extracted the suggestion of taking over the counter Hay fever tablets, or that since following the diet she had lost and kept off 15 odd kilos, and is feeling much better.

Anyway, seems her diet is pretty good anyway. The GP prefers fewer supplements – saying it is probably best to get the goodness through normal foods. The friend who we told last weekend is coming around tonight. She has had some dealings with dieticians, so we will ask her to recommend one to us.

The GP gave her some additional tests – more allergy related, which Al had blood taken today for. He also said our choice of OB and hospital was fine, and that he would write a referral when Al came back for the test results next week. He also gave us a referral to do a 12-week ultrasound and tests for Down Syndrome. This is booked in just before Christmas – and the results will be forwarded to our OB. Not sure how much information they give you at the time, but if you bring in a video tape they will give you a copy of the scan. I assume that would include the general fact things are going ok, and maybe even the sex. We book the hospital on Monday.

Last of all we asked about and had “weeks pregnant” explained to us. Tomorrow Al is officially 6 weeks pregnant. For the next week she will be in her “7th" week of pregnancy. On Saturday week she will be officially 7 weeks pregnant. This means the Ultrasound will be in her 12th week, and the first OB visit in the 14th week. Between then we just visit our GP if we have concerns or issues.

We are both happy with all that. Depending on the Ultrasound, we might even be able to tell our families at Christmas after all. Still early days obviously, but it is nice to have all these things decided / booked etc. Now we just need to sit back, relax, and let nature take its course.

Posted by Doug at 1:16 PM

Been very windy today, with the occasional downpour thrown in. Just the sort of day to stay tucked up warm and dry inside (which is exactly what we did). Watched a few videos with Al, and spent hours looking at Web Photo Gallery generators. Basically just taking it easy.

Al just headed off to have a shower and go to bed early. She ate some cheesecake at work yesterday, and has been feeling upset in the stomach ever since. She has also developed a headache this afternoon that she hasn’t shaken. She was looking a little miserable, and considering her condition, can’t really take anything to help.

It is six weeks today. So far she has been relatively lucky on the symptom side. She has felt a little nauseous at times, but never to the point of throwing up. She is more prone to being tired or run down, and is radiating a lot more heat them she normally does. (On cold days like today, that is a great thing. Mightn’t be so great in the middle of summer!) It still seems a little hard to believe. She is very, very happy to be pregnant though.

Posted by Doug at 9:49 PM

Been another good relaxed day at home. Al is feeling a bit better – but hasn’t quite shaken the headache. We walked down to the shops and picked up the paper, some bread from the bakery, and some meat from the butchers in the morning. Al also did a small fruit and vegetable shop later in the afternoon, but otherwise we have just been catching up on videos and our reading. Giving Al plenty of opportunities to relax.

I read the “week 7” guide from the main book we are following. Depending on what you read, the embryo is sized anywhere from a grain of rice to an olive this week. I’m surprised (and a little worried) just how hugely these books vary.

Posted by Doug at 9:39 PM

Yesterday was a busy day at work. Headed home, picked up a package from the post office (books), tried to clear some of my e-mails, then Al and I headed out. We caught up with half a dozen friends from our Uni days over takeaway. Was good – although Al looked (and was) very tired.

Today was another long and busy day at work. Mowed the lawns and did the edges when I got home, and am about to spend the night in front of the TV. Feeling tired. Not as tired as Al though.

Al told her second friend today. Everyone else will need to wait until Christmas.

Posted by Doug at 8:37 PM

Yesterday I was asked if I would accept a promotion / slight change of focus at work. I was told about aspects of a confidential direction the company was branching into, and what they hoped I might be able to do. In the past I wouldn’t have been interested – but I liked the approach that was being taken, and think it is actually something that has to be done. It will take a little while to come into fruition and I don’t presume that it is a certainty – but it is none the less an interesting opportunity, and I said yes with no doubt in my mind. It comes with a suggested pay rise that will obviously be useful.

We keep a fairly detailed 12-month budget. Within a day of learning about Al being pregnant we had adjusted it to suit. The loss of Al’s salary halves the household income. While this obviously has a big impact on our spending, and in part lifestyle, we will be able to pay the bills and live comfortably. In changing the budget, we were basically putting extra money aside before the birth, so that with Al’s Maternity leave, we can have a more comfortable budget in the 12 months after the birth. All about reducing stress.

I know waiting for so long to have children increased the health risks. We have been trying to balance those with financial and career stability. We hope that will mean a more harmonious household to bring a child up in. I hope we got the balance right – it has probably been the best we could do without hindsight.

Oh – we are booked into the Hospital now, and the birth classes, and some other exercise thing for Al. The Hospital was great to deal with, and we are very happy we are going through them. I think, for this point in time, we are about as ready as we could be. That in it self reduces our stress, which helps us sit back and enjoy the process.

Posted by Doug at 11:39 PM

Allison and I started going out 12 years, 11 months and 1 day ago. She is now seven weeks pregnant.

She went back yesterday for the second round of blood test results. They were extremely good. We can’t say if the naturopath came to Al’s diet through meticulous planning or miraculous luck – but it has certainly done her the world of good. The doctor was impressed, and told her to stick with what she was doing.

I am quite proud of her – she has really stuck with the diet over the last year. At 32 years old, her weight has stabilised at the same level she was at back during University. She looks great, and is healthier and happier. I also can’t help but think it has been a real positive contribution to her getting pregnant, and for how it has gone so far.

The last few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind – but we are both happy with how it has gone. We don’t know of any other advanced preparations that we need to make – so for the most part we now just have to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride for a few months.

I am a worrier and stressor, and was not entirely sure how I would handle this. The approach we have taken however has certainly minimised the issues for me. I’ll say it often – there are never any guarantees in life, but at least we have done as much as we reasonably could to allow this to go ok.

Posted by Doug at 2:11 PM

One of my Sisters called yesterday and said she would be down to visit today with her daughter, partner and his sister. It is a pretty rare to see them here. This morning another one of my sisters called, and said they were also dropping in. It is even rarer to see them. Cleaned up this morning, had the two visitors one after the other (missed each other by an hour), and am only now just sitting back and relaxing. One of my sisters remarked a number of times about us having children as if it was a foregone conclusion. Again it was odd to just smile and ignore the comments.

The weekend has past quickly.

Posted by Doug at 6:20 PM

Week has been passing quickly. We both still stop and wonder if the pregnancy is real. Al still hasn’t had any morning sickness. Odd, but we almost want her to be throwing up! So far symptoms come down to tiredness (far more than normal), radiating lots of heat, and more visits to the loo.

In reference to it becoming as big as a watermelon, we started calling the... Embryo? Baby? It? ... Pip. Because it has been so hard to identify what size it should be. However that was short lived, and we have moved on to calling it Leech. We are going to be such pleasant parents...

Went out last night and saw The Finn Brothers in concert. I wasn’t overly enthused beforehand since I hadn’t liked their last album much, but Al wanted to see them. Missy Higgins was the support act – and she did a good (be it short) job of it. Figured the evening wasn’t going to be a complete loss. The Finn Brothers then came out and put on one of the best concerts I’ve been to. A great mix of Crowded House and Split Enz hits – mixed in with their new songs that sounded three times better live. Even had Paul Hester join them for a couple songs. It was an absolute pleasure to see, and the final standing ovation was truly deserved. Wish they could have got some of that intensity into their album.

Posted by Doug at 11:51 PM

Yesterday was a bad hay fever day for both of us. We managed to get the majority of our Christmas shopping done in the morning, and then moped around indoors feeling sad and sorry for ourselves for the rest of the day.

Al is in bed at the moment, having a sleep in. She certainly is more tired than usual – to the point we have to consider it in our plans. Otherwise I think we both agree that she doesn’t have enough pregnancy symptoms! We are both looking forward to the ultrasound – to make it just that bit more real.

Al’s sister asked if she could stay with us over the 4 days before Christmas. The Ultrasound is in the middle of that time period. We thought about it, but are going to make some excuses and say we can only accommodate her on the first and last day. If something wrong is shown by the ultrasound we want to be able to discuss and address it in privacy. It is also a very busy time of year, and with houseguests Al just couldn’t relax as much as she needs to. May not please the sister.

Read a comment in last week’s paper that I liked from Dr Pauline Wallin. She said we are living in a culture of entitlement; we want our needs met instantly. “People expect that they should never be inconvenienced”. Seems apt and true of the Western World.

Posted by Doug at 11:33 AM

Al was home sick today – a bad sinus headache brought on by hayfever. She wasn’t well yesterday, it got worse through the night, and she was downright miserable by this morning. She went to the doctors for a certificate, and to ask about what she could take to help considering her pregnancy. Knowing she wanted to be (and then was) pregnant, Al had used almost no over the counter drugs in the last 6 months. Today she needed a little help.

I’m sure she wouldn’t want me to say this, and you mightn’t like to hear it, but in the interests of being honest about what is going on, Al is suffering one uncomfortable side effect of being pregnant. She seems to be suffering daily from either constipation or diarrhoea. In part it has been made worse by her attempts to reintroduce some foods into her diet to help keep her energy up. It does not appear to have been appreciated by her body.

She actually looked as if she was a little bit pregnant this afternoon – she had noticed it herself. Whether it was from her condition, bloating from her ailment, or a little extra weight from the diet changes, we don’t really know at the moment. (I suspect bloating.) However, it was another little reminder of what is coming.

One last thought for the evening – I suspect it is normal for most newly expecting couples, but we seem to be considering Al’s breasts a lot more. “do you think they are bigger? . they might be . I’m just not sure . probably . but maybe not”. Of course by considering these things regularly, we get used to any gradual changes, and have no hope of picking differences.

Al's mentioned it a couple times - we have to take some photos. She is looking really great at the moment.

Posted by Doug at 11:24 PM