Whenever Al leaves with the kids I generally help carry their paraphernalia out to the car, tell Jack to have a good day and that I love him, and lean in and give Grace a kiss, tell her I love her, and say bye. I always make a point of talking to both of them, and usually I will get a bye from Jack, and an enthusiastic “BYE DAD” from Grace, with an accompanying wave.

This morning Al was running late (common), was flustered (common when running late), and was snapping (let’s not discuss how common that can be). I leaned in and gave Grace a kiss and said I loved her – but must have forgotten Jack in the rush to get out of their way. He earnestly interrupted me as I went to close the door and told me that he loved me.

It just reinforced the importance of “sharing your love” fairly between the kids. While Jack may not outwardly acknowledge this little routine, he noticed straight away when I mistakenly did not include him in it. It was also a reminder that your kids do notice when you tell them you love them – even if they generally feign disinterest.

Jack attended his first transition day for his Primary School. I think it is safe to say that he was doing his very best to ignore the approaching event – right up until we reached the courtyard at the centre of the school, which was full of parents, kids and teachers. He faltered mid-step and look frightened.

Unfortunately Jack’s buddy for next year was at the dentist, but his replacement quickly found him, gave him a cheery welcome, and a few seconds later led him away. Before long he headed off with a group of kids and a teacher into one of the prep-rooms, looking somewhat terrified.

We were then all led away, offered a cup of tea, and told what good parents were and what bad parents were. Before long we were back in the courtyard waiting to collect Jack. I realised at that point that the last hour or so was possibly one of the most important in Jack’s transition to school. If it went poorly, it would put Jack on the wrong foot and make him extremely anxious. If it went well, it would make the whole process far easier.

When Jack was lead back to the courtyard he had a grin on his face, was looking relaxed, and wasn’t anxiously looking for us. After we caught up with him, one of the first things he said was that it had been great, and shortly later, fantastic was used a number of times. He remarked as we reached the car that we had done a good job picking the school out for him.

It was the Bathurst 1000 race today. Al seemed to make a point of keeping the kids out of the way, and I enjoyed the opportunity to watch it from start to end with minimum interruptions.

I have always had a fascination with the race, a little to my mum’s surprise since no one else in the family had any interest. I am not sure when it started – but I can remember watching it when we lived near Balmoral, so I was enthused since at least Grade 5. Peter Brock was always my favourite, then also Craig Lowndes after he first came onto the scene at HRT. I doubt I would go and see the race – unless Jack or Grace were really enthused by it. I have been to the track though and driven slowly around it, and it is quite extraordinary.

Jack remarked that he wanted to barrack for the blue or red cars, but soon lost interest. Grace seem quiet enthused with the racing on TV, and pointed to it animatedly and babbled loudly several times. Maybe when she gets a little older she will sit down on the couch next to me and watch the full race day coverage.

We finished Jack's school transition statement tonight. For posterity, and without the headings etc...

Jack lives at home with his Mum, Dad, and little sister Grace. He has been kept busy attending childcare 3 days a week, and has done many activities including Kindergym, Swimming, Ready Steady go, Music and Gymbaroo. He frequently catches up with friends and family.

Jack is a bright boy with a good nature, and a very active imagination. He is prone to over the top emotional outbursts, but mostly saves that for his parents. Within his comfort zone he is quite engaging and capable, but outside it he tends to get very anxious. He can be socially awkward at times, but really does enjoy interacting with others.

Generally Jack’s favourite toys and games are those which he can also watch on TV, especially super heroes such as Ben 10. He will often ask to visit the websites related to these characters. Jack likes building things with blocks or Lego, gets into quite complicated imaginative play, drawing and making collages, and likes ball games and getting outside.

Jack is looking forward to meeting his school buddy, and is hoping to have fun at school. He hasn’t had many questions – even after his first transition day, but he wants his teacher to know that he is a mostly happy boy who is mostly good.

Jack learns best when he is having fun, although can get over exuberant and needs to be reminded to concentrate. He is very goal oriented, and loves acknowledgement or working towards rewards. He also works best when he understands how the lessons are structured and flow, and what rules he needs to follow.

If Jack feels uncomfortable (such as a group of people focusing their attention on him), he can become self-conscious and refuse to try tasks or answer questions. He also does not always handle failure – so gives up quickly. In both situations he needs to be encouraged to keep on trying.

Jack is really interested in Dinosaurs, Super heroes, computers and generally how things work and interact.

We have always had a problem with Jack not taking jumpers or jackets off. We think he worries about getting stuck, or turning them inside out or not being able to put them back on again later. We would appreciate if he is obviously over dressed, that you encouraging him to take off his extra layers.

Jack is not especially resilient to teasing or bullying, and also tends to fear older or bigger kids. He can also struggle to interact with kids he is not already familiar with. You can help with subtle assistance to break the ice. Once familiar with a child he is generally much more comfortable.

Al sent an email to me this morning to say that Grace had a temperature of 101.5, and that she was going to check again in an hour. Grace has teeth coming through, and has had a temperature on and off for the last week. I remarked on how it was strange she had the same temperature as when I last checked her several days ago. (Just after a tantrum…)

An hour later Al rang me somewhat flustered, saying the temperature was still 101.5, so that Grace would have to stay home from childcare, and she would have to miss work.

Al generally never takes the kids temperatures or gives them medicine, so I asked her to check Jack’s temperature. It was also 101.5...

I then reminded her that she needed to reset the thermometer before each use, otherwise it just showed the previous temp. She rang back 2 minutes later saying both kids were fine, and she was taking them to childcare...

When we picked up the kids tonight they both seemed to be pretty animated and happy. When I asked Grace’s main carer how her day was she said “Great”, with a look which clearly said “It’s Grace, she always has great days.” It is nice seeing how both our kids seem to really enjoy their childcare centre.

There is a story behind this photo. Jack and Grace were watching TV together. Grace was holding her yellow bus above her head, and let it fall off, hitting Jack and making him cry. Grace then consoled Jack (above), making him laugh. Finally she then proceeded to hit Jack hard on the head, making him cry again, and her laugh more.

Al was suffering her usual weekend cabin fever, so on Saturday we went to visit Chadstone Shopping centre. It used to be our local centre, but it had lost that comfortable feeling we used to have. We were outsiders, and possibly not dressed well enough.

The kids fell asleep on the way home, so to extend their down time we drove around looking at houses in the area. We were a little sad to see that some of the local areas we had initially wanted to move into, but couldn’t afford, now looked much more tired, and no longer worth aspiring too. There were lots of 15 year old homes that needed repairs and repainting, and lots of gardens that needed attention.

We did find some new areas with some beautiful houses on them, but unfortunately they would require major mortgages and stressing to acquire, or a Tattslotto win.

Today we attended the local Stringybark Festival. It was cold and wet, and without thinking we allowed Jack to ride on a large inflatable slide. He came down in a stray of water, and was left looking as if he had wet his pants. He was unsure if he wanted to do it again – but we sent him back until he ended up just looking wet all over. That was a less embarrassing look…

It was interesting to see the differences between the kids. While Jack was overly insistent on checking out the rides, he refused to try a number of the free activities, and generally looked at his feet and went silent, or only mumbled if anyone spoke to him. Grace on the other hand insisted on walking everywhere, and while she tended to stop and frown at anyone who spoke to her, she very loudly exclaimed whenever she saw something of interest, and happily yelled and talked and babbled as she made her way around.

I have a mate who I frequently chat too via IM, Email and online games. While our conversations are mostly benign, we do occasionally vent to each other about work, the kids or our wives. Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest, and I am lucky to have a friend who I can do that with, and not have to worry about getting lots of advice or having the conversations repeated with someone else.

Al has a network of friends she can discuss such things with, and obviously does. I am sure it is just as therapeutic for her.

I am not sure Jack is going to be the type to confide in us much. He is already less inclined to talk about things which are bothering him, and his first thought seems to be to lie about it. It is already getting hard to trick, squeeze or coach that sort of information out of him.

I have a good relationship with my mum, and we talk regularly and openly. I had thought we had always had this – but apparently when I was at school I usually kept things to myself. I guess a lot of kids do. I might have to talk to Mum more about my behaviour as I grew, for an idea on how Jack might be, and what might work best with him.

I am not sure how Grace will be with communicating with us as she gets older. I suspect she will be loud and inclined to tell us exactly what she thinks.

I dropped the kids off at childcare yesterday. On the way Jack was talking about an interaction Grace had with Al, and that mum had been laughing. He paused for a moment and then thoughtfully said “Mum doesn’t laugh very much.”

Al is in a bit of a blue funk at the moment, which has been going on for a while. She has had another run of bad health, is getting less sleep than normal since daylight savings started, is being forced indoors with the poor weather, and (I expect) work is stressing her. She says she is happy enough, and can list off all the reasons why, but her shoulders are always slumped, and her most common facial expression is “fed up” or “zombie”. As Jack pointed out – you don’t often hear a genuine laugh out of her.

Al is lucky in many ways – we are in a rather privileged position of being able to both work part time, the kids are in childcare several days a week, she has more support around the house than the average woman would, we are not having to stress about money from day to day, and we are giving our kids opportunities far beyond that we had. I think we have got a balance which could be envied – but it still doesn’t give you a utopian life.

I have to acknowledge that as far as blue moments are concerned, I am far more likely to be feeling down than Al is. This is also not unique, or something that reflects badly on Al. A scarily substantial number of the mothers we know go through periods like this, often much longer, deeper and darker.

It seems mothers have a much harder time of it now – and lead more busy and stressful lives than those of our parents 30 to 40 years ago. I know my Mum also said once about being more accepting back then “because we didn’t know any different”.

I wonder what it will be like for Jack and Grace when they are in their 30’s - with careers, partners, and kids (if that is what they want.) Will life be even more complex and stressful, or will there have been a sea change.

While I do tend to stress about it, Al says she is just looking forward to a couple nice sunny days, a clear head, and maybe Grace giving her a sleep in.

People often say it must be hard working from home with the kids distracting you. For the most part they are off at childcare or out and about. The hardest thing about working from home is on days like today, where you would really prefer to just be sitting outdoors in the sun with a cup of tea.

Jack and I were woken at around 4:30 am this morning by a furiously screaming Grace. I heard Al trying to shush her with no success, and I passed the pair of them going downstairs when I headed off to answer Jack’s calls.

It turns out that Grace had woken up at 4:30, and Al mistakenly had thought it was 5:30. When she realised her mistake she then tried to get Grace back to sleep. Since Grace had thought she had the green light to be up, she was not the slightest bit interested in going back into her cot, and protested in the most extreme volume.

I suspect the girls in the house will be bleary eyed tonight.

Tonight while eating tea Al suddenly said in concern “Jack, Jack, what’s wrong.”

Jack stood up, a look of real fear and shock on his face, his eyes wide open.

“Jack, Jack, are you choking?”

Jack took a couple of half steps and dry retched a couple of times to no effect; his expression enough to stop my heart, a tear running down his face.

“Jack, Jack…” continued Al.

With an unpleasant (but thankful) noise, Jack finally coughed up the food that was blocking his wind pipe and took a couple of deep breaths. He looked relieved.

I told Jack that he had to remember to chew his food, to which he nodded, but said that he had forgot. Not unique, and it will happen again, but what a scary few moments.

Jack had his second transition day for his primary school. Unfortunately his buddy was away again – this time on a cricket program. Jack headed off for a physical education class with another temporary buddy, and we spent an hour with the school welfare officer talking about the extensive wellbeing programs they run.

I have been quite impressed by the school so far. In some ways I hadn’t expected a public school would be quite so professional, or work so much on creating the right environment for their students. It gave me more confidence that Jack will be given every opportunity to really enjoy his time at primary school. When we collected Jack it seemed his real buddy had finished cricket and had spent some time with him, which we were relieved about. Jack thanked us again for picking the school for him, and said he loved today’s visit as much as his last one. For the first time I think he is genuinely, be it cautiously, looking forward to school.

Earlier today I was talking with another parent, discussing a child that Jack used to have issues with. This child had become much more sedate, and I had assumed he was on some sort of medication. Apparently however he had been diagnosed with autism, and a series of other very long named syndromes. He now goes to an intervention session once a week to help him, and next year he will have an aid in class, and additional funds given to his parents to help care for him. A number of his siblings are in similar positions.

The problem with this is that the child does not actually exhibit any real problems that can’t be attributed to his parents. On almost every occasion I have crossed paths with them, they have shown a myriad of horrifyingly bad parenting – yelling, threatening, manhandling and being the ugliest example of human. They obviously just know how to work the system.

On the other hand another parent we know, with a child with diagnosed autism, and very obvious difficulties in behaviour and social interactions, is struggling to find appropriate support for when the child attends school next year.

Another face painting for Jack - this one went on the painters website.

At tea tonight Al tried to give Grace some soup. Grace battered the spoon away and protested – which is most unlike her when it comes to food. After a few attempts Al gave Grace the bowl and spoon. Grace then happily fed herself. Later tonight Grace raided Al’s bedside cupboard, and managed to put 20 pairs of underpants up over her head. She is an independent little mite, and likes doing things for herself.

Jack has been running a temperature on and off over the weekend, and spent much of it lying quietly on the couch. I’ve also been feeling unwell, so I suspect we will be keeping each other company at home tomorrow.

The last few meals Grace has refused to allow Al to fed her, instead insisting on feeding herself. My washing has just increased again. (Although having said that, Grace doesn't do too bad a job.)

She is also coming out with new words every day - oops being the very latest one. Shoes, socks, bag, meow for cat and "brrm brrm" for any sort of vehicle have all become regular parts of her conversations. There are many more - some we understand, some she repeats consistently, but we haven't quite worked out what exactly she is trying to say.