Focused on going to the library to look at pirate books, Jack opened the front door by himself and headed off to the Garage. I noticed him as he got off the porch and called his name sharply. He took off running to the garage door.

I went outside and told Jack off in a relatively calm manner while portraying the gravity of his action, and made him come back inside to apologise to his mum for leaving the house by himself. Amongst the tears for having to go back inside (and so further way from the library) – Jack did seem to understand that he had done something very wrong.

This was only a small incident, and probably useful in reinforcing the rules with Jack. It did however leave me reflecting on two quiet fears I have at the back of my mind.

Every so often there will be a news piece about a toddler who lets themselves out of the house in the middle of the night and gets lost on the streets. I am mindful of the fact that Jack could do the same. He can forcefully get through the upstairs safety gate (after watching an adult do it when they couldn’t work out the mechanism). He is also able to unlock and open both the front door and the security door. The only option would be to lock the security door and remove the key – but that seems to bring even greater risks in the case of a fire.

The other fear is calling for Jack to stop – and have him take off running into traffic or harm’s way. The moment a toddler thinks you are trying to stop them getting somewhere they want to go, they will make a run for it. So focused on that one thing they are oblivious (more so than normal) to anything else. I remember watching a parent on TV talking about losing a child in that circumstance. They were tormented, wondering if their child might not have run if they had not yelled, or if the child might have altered their direction or possibly seen the danger for themselves if not otherwise focused by their shout.

Parents have a lot to be fearful of.

Posted by Doug at 2:36 PM

Jack woke up this morning telling Al that he had got a red lolly at swimming. He then started to cry when he couldn’t find it. Al tried to explain that he must have just been dreaming, and that it was actually Ready Steady Go day. Jack cried more.

Initially it was very hard to try and explain the concept of dreaming to Jack. I remember times when he would wake up and give myself or Al the cold shoulder for an hour over something he had dreamed about. Now he seems to understand the idea, but doesn’t particularly like the fact the good aspects of a dream don’t continue through to his wakeful hours.

Speaking of imaginary type things, Jack’s now often brings in characters from his DVD’s into his play. Today he was Christopher Robin while Al played the part of Winnie the Poo.

Posted by Doug at 11:12 PM

Jack was desperately tired last night, but fought tooth and nail to delay going to bed. It ended with a string of tantrums and one very distraught little boy who was well past exhausted. Al, sick and tired herself, decided to stay in Jack’s room so that if he woke up unhappy she would be close by.

I was woken up at 2:30am by Al and Jack climbing into bed with me, apparently not being able to sleep comfortably in their room. They soon fell asleep, both serenading me with the most repulsive snoring I have ever heard. At best it sounded like someone gargling phlegm while breathing in and out, at worse it was... well... indescribable. By 3:30 I’d had enough and came downstairs to play on the computer.

Jack then spent almost the entire day on the couch watching TV. Normally on Friday morning he runs to the door when the garbage trucks arrive – this morning however he solemnly told us that he would just listen to them from the couch. Every hour or so he would get up and be active for 5 minutes, but it would either end up with him breathing extra hard or crying over some very minor thing – so he would return to the couch. Al didn’t bother with Gymbaroo, and spent the day close to him.

We didn’t give Jack any medicine as there wasn’t anything precise to target it at. We suspect however that he might have Al’s bad cold – she had a couple very bad days where she felt horrible, but looked and sounded fine to the rest of us. He was wheezing by the end of the day though - so we gave him Ventolin, put Vic's Vapor rub on is chest, and plugged the humidifier in. Tonight Jack was asking if it was nighttime yet, and the moment we mentioned it was bedtime he grabbed his mum's hand, lead her to his bedroom, and climbed promptly into bed.

For as great as his vocabulary is, Jack still can’t seem to describe how he is feeling. We could however be in for a horrendous week.

Posted by Doug at 8:00 PM

Jack woke up crying just before with a very horse cough. We tried to offer him water or medicine, but he said no and continued to cry in apparent discomfort. Tiredness then overcame him and his cries faded into silence as he fell back into exhausted sleep.

Posted by Doug at 9:56 PM

Jack is becoming more antagonising in public. He is noticing my reactions to certain behaviours, and pushing my buttons by repeating them when he knows I am not happy. He lifts his top up around his neck, jumps everywhere instead of walking, sits on the ground, grabs and touches everything within reach, or makes silly faces while talking loudly in baby speak.

I know people would just flippantly dismiss that – it is what kids do and you just have to ignore them. The problem is I can’t just ignore it – I get extraordinarily uncomfortable when placed in embarrassing situations, far more so than is natural.

Today we stopped off at the supermarket on the way home from Childcare. While standing at the checkout queue Jack (simultaneously) did all the embarrassing behaviours I mentioned above. I asked him relatively quietly and politely to stop his behaviour, but that just prompted their escalation. I then got down to his level and threatened him with not getting to eat one of the snacks he had picked out for himself, which calmed him for a short while before he just started loudly saying “No”. Finally I ended up with a very dark scowl on my face, pulled him up off the ground (where he happened to be at the time), and said “I am very unhappy with you – you are a rude, naughty little boy.” I then ignored him.

About this point in time I looked up and caught a lady in her late 40’s glaring at me. I am not sure if it was in response to Jack’s behaviour or how I was reacting to it. She mustn’t have liked the look on my face, as she quickly looked in the other direction.

After upsetting me more while getting back to the car, I again said “Stop it Jack, I am very unhappy with you.” He must have sensed he had pushed me too far, as he reined in his behaviour and said “I don’t want you to be unhappy with Jack.”

Therein lies the oxymoron. Jack is aware his parents react differently to his behaviours in public than at home – and uses that fact to deliberately push our buttons more. Yet, at the same time, he truly doesn’t like making Al or I unhappy.

As it is, I suspect Jack won’t be accompanying me on shopping trips as much in future.

Posted by Doug at 9:59 PM

A mother’s memory is odd.

Al can remember each and every annoyance about her husband spanning around 8 years or so, and bring them back up in a flash. Yet after a hard day of multiple tantrums and testing behaviour from Jack, and frazzled and testy responses from her, she will look at him sleeping peacefully at night and remark “Jack was pretty good today…”

Posted by Doug at 12:57 PM