Thankfully we are seeing a mainly happy Jack today (for the first time in over a week) - just in time to celebrate Doug's 2nd father's day. Last father's day seems a long time ago now. Jack had just started saying 'a-goo'. A year on and he has 10 real words to his credit, as well as communicating with all his pointing, gestures and facial expressions. A year ago we could leave him in the one spot, and he spent most of the day sleeping. Now he wants to be on the move all the time, and he alternates between having 1 and 2 sleeps a day. I wonder where he will be at this time next year.

Jack is over the worst of his illness, but still has a lingering cough and sore throat. His breath is still wheezing at times also so we are having to decide when it warrants the use of Ventolin. Thankfully Jack seems to have adapted better than we could have expected to having the Ventolin spacer mask over his face, finding it amusing, although at times wants to hold his breath!

Unfortunately, once again, I have picked up part of Jack's illness with a sore throat and chesty cough. While we were warned that putting Jack into childcare would mean he picks up every infection going around, it has been overwhelming for him (and us) to have so many in such a short space of time. Each time we recover from one, we hope that is the end of the cycle, only for him to pick up something else.

It has also been a struggle for me on the work front. I have been under the pressure of deadlines with a couple major projects I have been managing. I have had to delay one of those, and am meeting to discuss the deadline of the other tomorrow. I am left hoping that I am not seen as the only reason for the delays, and that we are not forced to push ahead regardless of the reality of the looming deadline.

After having to miss a fair bit of work in the past month, and it being a struggle at times to get through the necessary work when looking after a sick Jack, I feel bad that I am not able to give my job the proper attention. I feel like I am being less effective than what I would like. It also worries me that I have used up most of my sick leave for the year already, so future illnesses may start eating into what little annual leave I have.

At the same time, nothing at work is as important as Jack's health, and being able to provide the necessary care and attention he needs when ill. I remember before going on maternity leave I thought that working part-time was the 'best of both worlds' - spending a reasonable amount of time with Jack, and keep up my skills (and earnings) on the work front. I remember saying to other mothers who worked part time how great it must be. I now understand what they were saying when describing it as a very hectic and tiring juggling act that leaves you feeling as if you are not doing the best of being a mother or employee. I am sure once we all feel better again I will feel more on top of things, but lately it really has been more 'survival' than 'thriving' mode for us all.

Doug has highlighted in an entry this week that his mother has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, and as an immediate first step has had surgery. This puts into perspective that all the things we are dealing with are minor in comparison. We hope that she is able to get through all the necessary treatment and her life can go on as normal. It is too hard and scary to even comprehend any other scenario. Doug has always been very close to his mum, and I have also developed a close bond with her. She has treated me as a daughter and a friend right from the start, and I could not have hoped for a better mother-in-law. She is also a fantastic grandmother to Jack (and her other grandchildren), so we really hope that she is able to see them all grow up, and that they get to grow up knowing her. She is the sort of lovely person that no one has a bad word to say about, and already family and friends are flocking around offering their support. We can all only take it one step at a time, and try to be there for her (and Doug's dad) as much as we can.

To finish on a more positive note, Jack's latest development has been to start offering Doug and I kisses on the cheek. It is really special to receive your first kisses from your son! We also finally made it to Myuna Farm yesterday (it has taken us a month to get there from when it was first planned). It was great to see Jack's enjoyment and wonder at seeing the different animals, and associating his noises with the animals.

Posted by Al at 3:12 PM

Father’s day was good – got to watch 5 hours of car racing on the TV and spent several hours playing my new computer game in the evening, all with only a handful of interruptions. (Which is much better than the usual constant ones!)

Al was a lovely wife and mother, and worked hard to give me one of the more relaxed day’s I’ve had since, well, Jack was born. In hindsight it might seem odd to celebrate Father’s day be minimising your fathering duties, but I suspect other Fathers will understand.

Jack was pretty good, and seemed on the mend.

Today Jack was even better – I’d say 85% normal. The Childcare centre reported an excellent day. This was certainly backed up by the fact Jack seemed more interested in finishing off story time than being picked up by me when I arrived. (Almost makes me pine for those early days where he cried at the first sight of me, wanting to be picked up and taken home immediately. Well, almost.)

I on the other hand am feeling horrendous. I have a greater understanding for how Jack must have been feeling last week. Aching all over, swollen glands, including in places I didn’t know glands existed, a pathetic cough, headache, and feeling cold regardless how many layers of clothes I am wearing, or what the thermostat is set on.

Except I don’t fully understand how Jack was feeling - since Al hasn’t offered to take time off work to care for me, drive me to the doctors, give me medicine, or snuggle up making soothing and appropriate “there, there” compassionate noises. She has said “there, there”, but it was in more of a “pat pat” on the head sort of way.

The lot of a Dad. I’m sure this wasn’t in the brochure.

Posted by Doug at 9:12 PM

In the last two days we have seen the partial return of 'happy Jack'. It has almost taken us by surprise to see him at his happy best. We have only seen glimpses of it in weeks. He has enjoyed a happy return to his childcare and activities routine (although has been a bit overtired and wanting to stick close to mum).

Summary of latest developments for Jack at his 14-month milestone:

- Picking up new words and actions regularly. Yesterday we noticed him saying 'beep beep' while pressing the horn on his toy car wheel, as well as doing the horn beeping motion with his hand. This morning I noticed him 'knocking' with his hand along to the 'knock knock' song and saying 'knock knock'. 'Baa' is the new animal noise of the month for sheep.

- He not only wants to eat what we are eating, but also use the same utensils. He now enjoys sharing my morning Organic Vitabrits with malt free soymilk. If I try to pass it to him with his little baby spoon, he shakes his head and says 'no', and keeps pointing until I give him my big spoon to eat with. (That is of course way too big for his mouth, but he persists in trying to use it regardless!)

- Giving us kisses on the cheek

- He no longer wants to spend most of his playtime at home in his play areas. In fact he often refuses to go in there or protests vigorously. His home play sessions instead now involve crawling all around the house. He doesn't mind playing with his toys in areas other than his play areas. He also enjoys playing with real items rather than toys, such as re-arranging all our CDs and pulling paper and books off bookshelves.

- He enjoys pushing shapes into holes (with a bit of a hand from us to half put the shape in right hole to start with)

- When asked where his head is, he touches his head. When asked where his nose is, he touches my nose.

- He loves climbing up and down the stairs. He can now get himself off beds and couches with his 'twist and turn' skill learnt at swimming.

- He shows an early love of 'programming' anything in the house with buttons. This includes the stereo, VCR, DVD player, washing machine, dishwasher, clocks, our computers, and any other thing he can find with a button to press. Unfortunately this leads to lots of temper tantrums when we tell him 'no no no' and pull him away.

- He is into the fully-fledged toddler tantrum stage, including hitting his head against any hard object (floor tiles, doors, walls, our heads, high chair).

- He has a good attention span – and can sit still and listen during story time at the library, music class activities, etc.

Posted by Al at 5:48 PM

Jack’s last illness was passed onto his Mum, and now onto me. I’ve had a persistent, painful and very irritating dry cough that keeps waking me up over night. I’ve been feeling miserable.

Jack has had a few really good days – cheerfully chatting and carrying on. It has been such a relief to see. The tantrums have certainly not abated, but at least now that he is happier they are a little easier to deal with.

We realised he must have had another growth spurt– he seems to be about an inch taller all of a sudden. One day he was lifting his chin to rest it on the side of his Portacot, the next he was hanging his chin over the side. His third tooth is now also through (top front), with three more close.

His capacity to learn (and that of all babies) continues to amaze. I pointed at a picture of a turtle the other day and said the name aloud. Jack promptly replied with Tur Tal. Each time I point at a picture of a Turtle since, he repeats the new word. We also noticed he uses Peeek and Peeka for Peekaboo, and while he says Bee Bee Bee all the time, he also uses it consistently while pointing at birds. Bath also seems to have been added to his vocabulary – although is more of a Ba Ba Ba noise.

(If you haven’t already noticed, Al and I almost constantly refer to things three times with Jack – saying “Dad, Dad, Dad, Mum, Mum, Mum, Bath, Bath, Bath” etc. We have done this to help with association, but find Jack now tends to do the same in return!)

Of course, and as previously raised, a lot of Jack’s communication is more easily understood by his Parent’s more keen and practised ear. Having said that, Jack can make appropriate responses through many of his picture cards or to things on TV, which has allowed his grandparents to see and share in his early communication.

The pace of constant change still leaves Al and I bewildered at times.

This week Peter Brock, an Australian Motor Racing icon, died while competing in a Targa tarmac rally. I don’t often remark on current events here, but I will on this one. Peter was one of the only “real” heroes I had as a child. Even now I would take note of any event he was in and how he was going. My other heroes growing up were mostly fictional. W John’s Biggles (his World War I stories primarily), Nicholas Monsarrat’s Lt Commander George Erickson and his ship the HMS Compass Rose, and Douglas Reeman’s Commander Andrew Lindsay and his ship the HMS Benbecula. I wonder at who or what Jack will idolise as he grows up.

My thanks to you Peter, you were a great role model.

Posted by Doug at 1:50 AM

A few days after the return of 'happy Jack', and feeling better myself, I am starting to feel more relaxed and on top of things. Unfortunately Doug seems to have copped a bad case of the latest illness, so we are still waiting for a time when the whole household feels well at same time.

Yesterday Doug took Jack shopping for a 4-year-old present while I relaxed and enjoyed a haircut. Jack came along at the start to get haircut no 2. He behaved well and took it all in his stride once again. We then all went along to the 4-year-old party for Damon at a local play centre. Jack enjoyed watching the other kids, and particularly enjoyed riding around in a little car. At one stage he was just about to climb into it when an aggressive 4 year old came running across the room, gave Jack a big shove, and jumped in himself. I told the boy off for pushing a baby (and had to restrain myself from really going overboard). No mother in sight to admonish him either. It really is 'law of the jungle' at times in a play centre, so I find myself having to negotiate with 4 year olds. When the car was free again later and Jack was happily riding in it, the same child pouted saying 'that's my car'. I told him it wasn't his car, and that he had already had his turn.

We enjoyed catching up with the parents of the birthday boy, and another parent we know well. Doug enjoyed swapping 'Dad stories'. It is also useful for us watching older kids, and talking to the parents as to what to expect in future. Towards the end Damon came over to his parents with a blood lip after crashing heads with another child. I expressed concern, but both parents just shrugged it off as no big deal, and said he would be right again as soon as the blood was wiped up. A reminder of how many crashes and spills we are likely to encounter as Jack grows up, and the importance of taking it in our stride and not over-reacting. The other parent was a Dad of two, bringing the kids along by himself to give his wife a break. He said that the two kids were always run in different directions, so you have to choose which to watch or run after.

Jack loves playing with little cars at the moment. He also enjoys tossing his balls down on the ground with loud 'Dah' cries, and chasing after them. He really is 'all boy' with his play preferences. At playgroup I have given him a doll to see how he would react. He threw it on the ground in disdain, whereas Kiara loves walking dolls around in a little pram. At music class this week the kids were given another little doll to do actions with for one of the songs. I observed most of the little girls gently stroking their dolls, whereas all Jack did was continue to toss the doll away and look annoyed each time I handed it back to him. He is also not really into 'hugging' his soft toy collection, and prefers throwing them around also. You do wonder how much 'nurture vs nature' comes into things like play preferences, but Jack certainly seems to have a natural preference for typical 'boy play'.

Posted by Al at 10:53 AM

I seem to be partially on the mend – just in time for work.

I had an annoying start to the day – drove all the way into work, up to the security boom gate, and then realised I’d forgotten my access key… again. Drove home to pick it up, and then drove back into work again in the much heavier traffic. My usual 30 minute commute turned into 100 minutes. (Lets not even think about the petrol I wasted!)

I did get to see Al and Jack up and awake (they are usually sleeping when I leave), so all was not wasted.

I had a quick meeting with my Boss today (the reason for returning to work instead of just giving up and working from home). He is based in Sydney, and is generally only down once a month. He didn’t realise it, but he probably left me feeling the most dissatisfied I have been with this company – ever.

The area I coordinate has for 11 months now been inappropriately and under resourced. I have maintained an acceptable level of service by juggling, squeezing, prioritising, and many days simply carrying it with unpaid overtime. It has taken senior management all this time to finally get new resources organised, which I am about to start training.

Today in the meeting I was informed of senior managements expectations. I will go from 2.8 resources covering the work of 4, to 3.8 resources covering the work of 5.

One of the rules I work by is not rewarding bad management. It was bad management that put my team into this predicament, and it is bad management that will keep it there. Continuing to work as hard as I have been is simply rewarding them for that bad management. I have had enough, and it is time to move on.

But that isn’t as easy as it once was. Finding work shouldn’t be difficult – I’m very good at what I do, it is in demand, and the resume looks great. However, if I move to a 9 to 5 job that adversely affects Jack and Al. If I can’t work from home, that will affect Jack and Al. If I can’t work part time, or have to do rostered support, or - well, you get the idea.

As I grew up I can remember my Dad lamenting about being stuck in certain jobs – “for the good of the family”. I don’t feel trapped by my responsibilities, but I do feel starkly aware of them.

Posted by Doug at 10:02 PM

Continued...

I walked into work feeling rather worn down – only to find things quickly got worse.

I was asked a number of times yesterday for a resource for a client issue. As you might have guessed my team is already under resourced, this week being particularly bad. While sympathetic to the person, I simply could not help them.

This morning they had made another pleading request for help. After saying no politely three times yesterday, I responded again in the negative, and suggested (still relatively politely) that they should actually be speaking with the resource coordinator.

A manager on the email chain then responded with how disappointed he was with my comment. He indicated the colleague had already gone to the resource coordinator, and was coming to me as a final resort. When I went to interject he put up his hand and said he did not want to hear about it.

That made me furious. I understood the desperation of the colleague – but I resented being put in a position of having to repeatedly refuse to help them, and to then be made out as if I was being the bad guy. I was not in a position to provide them a resource, and frankly it was not my responsibility to do so. It was meant to be the job of that pious Manager…

Anyway, I took a deep breath or two.

I made a mental note on the Manager – who was relatively new to the role. He seems to play the friendly, reasonable, almost fatherly figure, who tries to manage the hard issues with guilt trips and avoidance.

I then apologised to the colleague for my mildly inappropriate response. She said “What? I’ve been working with you for years Doug, you don’t need to apologise for anything.”

After 11 hard months at work, 5 hard weeks at home, and 5 hard days of sickness, the sum of my inappropriate behaviour comes down to a technically correct quip that a colleague should ask for help via the correct channels.

Gee I’ve mellowed with age. I hope Jack mellows. Maybe by 15 months. Is that too much to ask?

Posted by Doug at 10:03 PM

Continued...

Following that little encounter I sat down and put together resource figures based on the meeting I had had with my manager the previous day. Nothing smart – just taking the current contracted and fixed scheduled work, adding the extra time required to cover the average annual leave, sick leave and training entitlements for the team, and comparing that to the resources we had available. It showed the team would be worse off after the proposed “solution” was put in place.

My manager looked at the figures (I got the impression he was a little surprised by them), made some adjustments (a resource replaced, a volume of new work not taken on), and played around until they looked ok.

“There” he said, “That will work.”

“True” I vocalised, while quietly noting that his changes seemed to go against the perception Senior Management had on what would be happening.

I could see his predicament. Stuck between my view of reality (what was needed to get the job done), and the vastly different parameters Senior Management worked within (the measurement of utilisation). He was having to traverse a minefield while hoping for an outcome that was workable and left both sides happy.

Due in part to the efforts of my Manager, and in part due to my health improving, the pressing urge to change jobs was lowering.

In the meanwhile Al kept herself busy and amused by forwarding me adverts for businesses and franchises for sale (in case I wanted a change of career), and job vacancies listed in my area of expertise.

Resourcing, scheduling and meetings finally all over and done with, I then sat down and spent the rest of the day concentrating on chargeable client work, and answering the questions of the latest two consultants temporarily assigned to the team. It was a productive, interesting and rewarding afternoon.

My timesheet looked something like:

1.5 hrs – Resourcing Issues

0.5 hrs – Admin (schedules, emails and timesheets)

1.0 hrs – Mentoring and supporting team members

0.5 hrs – Non-chargeable support of Consultants on site

3.5 hrs – Chargeable Scheduled Client work

1.0 hrs – Chargeable Unscheduled Client work

My view - a productive day that covered the cost of my employment with a positive margin of around 35%, further helped four other Consultants who were charging their time, and supported 5 or 6 clients.

Senior Management’s view? 56% utilised, substandard performance. No justification to be asking for more resources.

Posted by Doug at 11:52 PM

Continued… and end.

There were two reasons for the last few posts – both directed at when Jack reads this in the future. The first was to show that the difficulties we have faced over the last month were not just centred on Jack. The second was to give Jack a glimpse of what his Dad was doing between the breakfast goodbyes and the afternoon hellos.

There is a lot I like about my job. Stability is not generally the lot of a consultant – employment can be a project-by-project proposition. I have stability through supporting two-dozen odd clients with long-term contracts. Instead of looking after one environment and one technical platform, I work on a wide mix of landscapes. Over the course of a few months I might work on 100 different servers, and deal professionally with 60 different people.

I like that (theoretically) it can be quiet one day, hectic and extra busy the next. I like the fact my tasks rarely take more than a few hours, providing relatively instant satisfaction. In the same way – unpleasant tasks also don’t take too long to get through. You cannot always say the same when working on projects that can run for 18 months or more.

I generally work with good people, have reasonable management, am left to my own devices, and am asked for feedback and input into decision making about the service I provide. I seem to be respected and well thought of, am allowed to work part time, start extra early and finish extra early to miss the traffic, work from home a couple days a week, get to wear smart casual, and am paid pretty well.

I have one main frustration (as seen boiling over on Monday). Management does not really understand what I do (and have told me so directly). They know that (aside from resources) the service requires very little input from them. They know I have a lot of very happy clients. They know the service is comfortably profitable. They know that they like the consistent and reliable income stream…

What they don’t seem to know is how to fit the concept of support within their business model and decision-making– which are very much focused on Consulting for project work. This means that they commonly fail to provide me with an environment conducive to doing my job as well as I would like. The way they interpret their statistics – which ignores the value of the work being done, or how profitable the individual is, can be down right insulting some days.

So I am not about to rush out and resign just yet. However this week has been a reminder that I do need to keep an eye out for what other opportunities may come along.

Posted by Doug at 10:53 PM

Mum came out of her op pretty well (mentally great, physically ok aside an infection). The tumour was close to the rib cage, but the lymph node biopsies and bone scan came back clear, suggesting the cancer has not spread. She has some more convalescing to do, then starts the “just in case” chemo. I think she is finding the resting aspect at home difficult, particularly not being able to do many of the chores.

I am relieved – although in a hard to describe way. I never really let myself dwell on the possible outcomes – instead just taking a wait and see approach. Never having anguished over what might have gone wrong, I am not now struck by the apposing amount of relief.

I have wondered at if I was a little too devoid of emotion – especially when seeing the reaction in concerned friends and family when offering their best wishes. This has never been about me though. My Mum – who was facing and making the decisions on it, has been so strong. It did not seem right for me to be anything other than strong in return.

Posted by Doug at 10:10 PM

We are all feeling much better. Jack picked up a cold from this weeks childcare (which he passed onto his parents), but that is almost pleasant compared to the previous rounds of illness.

We have had a busy couple of days. Jack caught up with an Aunt, Uncle and Cousin yesterday, over from Perth on Business. Today he caught up with Grandma and Grandpa Q, two Uncles, two Aunts, an Aunt to be, and four cousins.

 

Enjoying a wheelbarrow ride with a Cousin and Grandpa Q.

He loved the array of outside toys at his Aunt and Uncle's house. We are going to have to work on our back yard to set up some areas for him. (The top was changed after a lunch and over active induced vomit...)

Posted by Doug at 9:48 PM

We have had an enjoyable couple of days of family catch-ups. My brother and his wife came over from Perth on a business trip, so we were able to see their son Ryley the day before his 1st birthday. You really do notice the distance with family when it is difficult to have the opportunity to share in special milestones.

Yesterday Jack met another aunt and some older cousins for the first time, visiting from Tasmania. He had a great time playing outside with them, more cousins, grandparents, and various aunts and uncles.

When Doug picked him up from childcare on Thursday he also found him outside with all the kids in a sandpit. Now that winter is over Jack should have more and more opportunities to be outside. Last summer he was not yet crawling or able to enjoy the outdoors (other than by walks in the pram), so it is exciting to seeing him being able to explore and enjoy it this summer. When he starts walking it will make it even easier for him.

Posted by Al at 9:03 AM

Jack is still teething. I know it seems like the perennial parental catch cry – but I am telling the truth. The second top front tooth showed itself last week. The next day it had shifted at a 30-degree angle, two days later is was angled 30 degrees in the opposite direction, and a couple days later it had receded back into the gum. Cruel and unusually. We can see another 5 or 6 teeth close to the surface, so he might have a rush of them. Or then again maybe he won’t.

Jack has handled this round better than previously, and while he is a little more testy when it is obviously bothering him, he has basically been a pretty active and happy kid for the last couple weeks.

His new favourite play area is the front entrance hall in the house. I remember saying that I thought I’d be able to contain Jack’s toys. I am glad to say I have been able to do so – in buckets and plastic containers – in just about every room in the house…

Jack has just started to walk if we hold both his hands (or laying our hands under his arms). In the past he would immediately sit down, but he now enjoys walking around. It is not a elegant look yet – particularly as he is prone to standing on one foot dancing or trying to kick objects. The distance he travels is limited only by the condition of his parent's backs.

I taught Jack "up" and "down" the other day.

I should never have done that.

It is cute when he is in his Portacot watching TV, standing and saying “up”, then squatting and saying “down” over and over. It isn’t so cute when he has his parents both standing there lifting and lowering their arms in unison as he chants “up, and down”. The other day Jack got tired of lifting his own arms, so stopped. He continued chanting though so his parents could keep doing it.

So many things you teach a child come back to bite you.

Last night Jack was in our bed using his human mattress, but just not getting comfortable. Al said after fidgeting for a while he got himself off the bed (something he is very effective at now), crawled over to the bedroom door (which was ajar letting in light), pushed it closed, then crawled back to the bed. Al lifted him back under the covers and he promptly fell asleep. Al had left the light on immediately outside our room, something she doesn’t normally do. It might well have been Jack burning the last skerrick of energy, but it so looked like the light was annoying him, so he went to shut the door on it..

Life, especially the very young type, is rather special.

Posted by Doug at 10:52 PM

Busy life continues.

Jack finally got allergy tested on Friday. Some $350 and two visits later we are told he has a milk allergy. And Potato. And that was about all we learnt.

Jack was very good through the long appointment, but by the end was a little antsy. Al, tired and distracted, didn’t think to ask many questions, and the Allergist, for whatever reason, didn’t think to pass on much information.

I guess we Google search for where to go now, or go back and get further tests done for things like grasses, and ask more questions then.

During the appointment Jack had spent time playing on the waiting room floor. Al remarked that he had interacted with other people in the room, staring, smiling, talking, and making sure they were watching him as he went about his play.

We then did a long day trip to visit my Parents on Saturday. I’d have liked to of stayed longer, but I had to work on Sunday. Jack interacted happily with his grandparents. My mum remarked on how Jack was becoming a real confident little boy.

On Sunday, in driving wind and squally showers, we went out and purchased a new microwave. (The old one was damaged after Al dropped a plate in it.) For some reason everyone else was also out shopping. We had to give up on a shopping centre as we couldn’t get a car park anywhere near an entrance. We went to a Harvey Norman but found it only had six models on display, and was packed with people buying TVs and whitegoods. Finally however we lucked out by finding a much smaller electronic retailer that had no customers, helpful and available staff, and 40 odd different models to check out – all at reasonable prices.

Today when Al dropped Jack off at childcare he looked around interestedly at what was going on and was handed over without the slightest protest. He didn’t look back or cry when Al said goodbye and left. When I picked him up this afternoon he was happily throwing a ball in amongst a gaggle of babies, charging off and retrieving it. I waved as I first arrived and he beamed back, but then returned to his play. I signed him out, collected his bag, and spoke to one of the carer’s about his day. Jack continued to play happily, and I had to actually go and pick him up.

He really seems to like it at that childcare centre - and I think it has played no small part in building Jack’s obvious growing confidence, especially around other people. I’ll try to remember that when Jack picks up the next round of childcare sickness.

Oh – he also seems to have gone from 3 to 5 teeth. The second front tooth is again back through the gum, and so is one of the teeth next along in line (an incisor?). Jack has had a couple antsy days related to the discomfort, but generally has been good.

Yes, life has been busy.

Posted by Doug at 10:42 PM

I think this week was the first where Jack did not cry once at drop off or pick up from childcare. I guess if we look at the calendar it has taken a long time to get to this point – but it hasn’t really seemed so. Going three days (something he has only been doing since July) has certainly made the process easier.

School holidays this week, which stops most of Jack’s activities. He has however had two visits to play centres to keep him amused.

It was my turn to be sick again this week – hit with a viral infection that left me incapable of doing anything but sleeping on Wednesday. Fever, aching all over, nausea and a severe headache for 24 hours straight, with no relief from any of the drugs I tried. It was the most atrocious sick day I’ve had in over a decade. Thursday and today have been recovery days. I’m still feeling knocked about, but am obviously on the mend.

I have felt like I have been burning the candle from both ends for a long time now. This week was a like a message - delivered by sledgehammer - reminding me of the consequence.

Posted by Doug at 9:54 PM

I’ve really enjoyed having a few weeks of 'happy Jack'. Being school holidays, our schedule has also been more relaxed.

We have had the regular gathering of high school friends, two visits to play centres to meet up with friends, and last weekend included a long but happy day going up and back to visit Grandma C. That also happened to coincide with seeing Jack's cousin Larissa taking some of her first steps. Jack also enjoyed a wander around their local market. This morning was another family gathering for brunch with Grandma and Grandpa Q, and Uncle Mal to celebrate Grandma Q's birthday. We have really noticed that Jack recognises both our families, and is enjoying his interactions more with them over time, which is special to see.

Three months ago when I increased my work hours to 4 days a week my manager stated he wanted to review the situation at end of September. He wanted me to consider going full time. I indicated at the time that I was not interested, and he understood my need for flexibility, but indicated they needed someone fulltime in the role. He suggested possible options including working one full or two half days on the weekends. (!)

While I appreciated he was trying to be flexible and look for solutions that would work for both of us, it has been an additional stress at the back of my mind over the last few months. He raised it again this week and I indicated I was not in a position to increase my hours. Much to my surprise he said he wasn't surprised, and actually wanted to know if I would like to decrease my hours! My obvious and continual run down and sick state over the last couple months had not gone unnoticed it seems.

After discussing with Doug, we have agreed for me to reduce my hours to 3.5 days a week. This will give me one full day off with Jack (being the one day I am alone with him). I think this will make a huge difference – especially allowing me to relax and enjoy the activities and my time alone with Jack, instead of having to stress about getting work done.

I already feel better having put this in place. It is nice to feel that you are being treated as an individual rather than just a 'resource'. My manager did go on to state that he was very happy with how my return to work had gone overall, so that was a relief, and good to know. I think I would have handled the 4 days a week ok if it were not for all the sickness, and with Jack still having overnight feeds. The two combined however have left me feeling as if I am not on top of things. Hopefully this change will allow for more balance in my life, and allow me to manage things better overall on the home and work fronts.

Posted by Al at 12:24 PM