He loves phones.

Posted by Doug at 9:36 PM

When I arrive to pick up Jack from childcare it is common for me to find him reclined in a bouncer. I was starting to wonder at just how often they placed him in it over the day.

Last Thursday Jack was again in a bouncer when I arrived, but smiled and waved at me when I walked in – no tears or sad look. The carer remarked as I lifted him up that he had had a great day, and then said that he loved the bouncer, and kept climbing into it himself. He spends half the day there chatting away and observing the room, he even drags toys in with him.

I smiled and told her we might have to look at buying one like it for home, while deep down I was feeling mildly embarrassed that I was just thinking they might have been neglecting Jack…

Posted by Doug at 4:34 PM

I’m almost too scared to go to bed – Jack has been feeling unwell tonight, and already had a couple long crying sessions. Breaks your heart. I hope this passes quickly, and that it is not something that will leave him feeling unwell for any length of time. We had such a great week with him, and I’m all ready for another one of those.

I was speaking with a work colleague who, like us, missed voting in the last local council elections. She has already received and paid her fine. She suggested that in her experience you are not notified if your excuse for not voting was accepted. You just never get sent a fine. Here’s hoping with a little luck that is the case for Al and I.

Posted by Doug at 11:20 PM

Al has a case of laryngitis that is knocking her about. She was sounding like Marge Simpson there for a while – but has recently moved on to a more breathy, hoarse wheeze. On the plus side I find I am being interrupted a lot less, since I cannot hear her calling me.

Jack hadn’t used his crawl tunnel for over a week, and Al and I were feeling a little sad that he had lost interest in it so quickly. Tonight I noticed him about to head into it, pause, then reverse out. There was a balloon halfway down. I removed it, and Jack then spent the next five minutes zooming up and down the tunnel. He had obviously been thinking the balloon was blocking the way!

Another solution hidden by its simplicity.

Speaking of Balloons. Jack has a number of them in his downstairs play area. They were blown up some 5 weeks ago, survive the worst Jack can give them, and don’t appear to have deflated in the slightest. They have a coloured pattern splashed on their side, and were picked up from the supermarket in a pack of 12 for 98 cents. I can’t remember the last time I got so much value for so little money.

Lately Jack has been much more interested in solid food – to the point where he has been rejecting baby purees and pointing at the food we are eating, saying “ta” and “moor”. We are having to ensure he can not see any alternatives to what we are offering him. This might have just got more difficult tonight, when it looked like the smell of the cooking food was triggering Jack’s interest in it. Unfortunately he has also been rejecting spoons - insisting on eating with his hands. Oh the mess.

Posted by Doug at 10:57 PM

How the tide ebbs and flows.

Jack had a great day at Childcare, and came home happy with a new noise to repeat over and over. After about 45 minutes the first edges appeared. He was slightly too quick to get upset, and the cries were slightly too anguished – even for Jack. I quietly hoped he was just overtired. Overtired he was, but just he wasn’t.

After a little hard work Al got him down to sleep, and the house went quiet.

At 10pm (just as I was getting into a new TV series) the sound of tormented crying (Jack) and heavy footsteps (Al) came from upstairs. Jack had woken up for a feed, bit his mum in the middle of it, and then started to cry. And cry. And cry some more.

We convened at the top of the stairs.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t know.”

The usual candidates were bantered over - just upset, a sore throat, blocked nose, stomachache, toothache, headache, hungry, thirsty, or maybe with all this solid food, constipated.

It was possible that Al’s involuntary reaction to have her breast bitten hard upset him, and he could have become too confused and overtired to calm himself. The solution to that is distraction.

We moved into the bathroom, turned on the hot water, and waited for the steam to rise. (Good for distraction, plus it helps if he is blocked up in the head.) In the meanwhile we try his dummy (nope) and water (nope).

The room is steamed up, but Jack is still crying. I draw things on the steamed up mirror – an almost guaranteed winner. Nope, still crying.

By this time his face was a sea of snot, tears and drool. We give him a dose of medicine and wipe his nose. He still cries.

He does pause in his crying in stops and starts, but quickly returns to it. Al is still feeling unwell, and not quite awake. I am frazzled. We snap at each other.

Now he is farting - that could mean his stomach is upset. More likely though it just relates to him gulping down air while crying. He might be hungry – but he pushes away anything that is meant to go into his mouth, suggesting otherwise.

Considering how Al is feeling, Jack might have a sore throat. He is sounding slightly hoarse – but then again he is screaming from the back of his throat. He doesn’t want water, but his breath smells. Oh, hold on, no, that was Al’s. His breath is fine. His throat is probably ok.

He is coughing a bit – but at the moment that appears more related to his crying and what he is swallowing down the back of his throat.

Al takes him downstairs and tries to watch some TV with him. He is tired, and wanting to sleep, but keeps breaking out in anguished crying.

Maybe he is teething? It looks like one of his front teeth is near the surface. He doesn’t have the temperature or the very smelly wet nappies though. He is however drooling a huge amount, and maybe those red checks are not actually eczema this time. He also did bite his mum during breatfeeds last time a tooth came through.

Al walks him about a bit more upstairs. Finally exhaustion, medicine, both, or maybe even the discomfort departing - whatever the reason, he stops crying and falls back to sleep.

An hour has past, I missed the TV Show, my clean jumper is covered in baby snot, and we have no clear idea why Jack was so upset. My best guess is that his teeth are bothering him. He can be overly sensitive to discomfort - and his crying got to the point where it in itself introduced more discomfort, escalating things.

It seems to only take a few minutes of Jack being upset for us to feel frazzled and, dare I say it, confused and a little inadequate.

Overall Jack has been fantastic these last few weeks. He has been really happy, and his eating and communication seem to have leapt forward. We are recognising new repeated noises for flower and hello, and he is stringing “ta” and “nah” together with the appropriate parent (“ta Da”, ‘ta Ma”). His voice inflection is also improving – his “Ta” can come across clearly as happy, hopeful or forceful.

So much delight in raising a child - and so much uncertainty.

Posted by Doug at 12:47 AM

After walking him around a little last night Al tried to breastfeed Jack again. She had tried to do this as soon as he had bitten her, but he refused. This time he drank, fell promptly to sleep, and the rest of the night passed quietly.

His initial anguished cries must have been because he hadn’t actually finished on his mum’s breast, and quickly escalated to the point where he forgot what he was crying about.

Every time he gets into one of these episodes you don’t know if it will last 5 minutes or 5 days. That is the most frazzling thing about them. Thankfully most of the time they stop within an hour. It can be a very long hour though!

His new main noise is BeDar. He does variations of it including DeDar, MeNar and DarDeDar.

<Insert pause while I go help clean up after Jack vomits>

Jack had a conversation with Al last night that went something like NumiNum Num Num EeEor EeEor Dadidar dar, repeated.

The other new word I forgot to mention is tick tock. He says this when he points at pictures of clocks.

Posted by Doug at 7:50 AM

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself today, and more than a little bit grumpy. I was meant to have a relaxed day off at home, but it has been anything but.

Jack and I seem to have picked up a stomach bug. I’m just feeling queasy, Jack on the other hand…

Threw up on Al during his first morning breastfeed. Some of Al’s clothes went out to the wash.

Threw up in the high chair. Chair requires cleaning, a set of Jack’s clothes, and some of Al’s clothes out to the wash.

Had a nappy explosion in the upstairs play area. Play area required scrubbing, another set of Jack’s clothes and more of Al’s clothes out to be washed.

Threw up all over the couch. Cleaned couch. Yet another set of Jack’s clothes out to be washed, along with more of Al’s clothes.

Considering the above, gave Jack a bath. Had to rush because Jack had an appointment.

Headed out in the car for Jack’s Allergy test. Left our mobile phones and Al’s purse behind.

Jack had a nappy explosion in the car. Changed on the side of the road. Car Seat requires cleaning, and another set of Jack’s clothes needs to be washed. Out of singlets.

Arrive at wrong address. No mobile phones on us to call ahead to say we would be late.

Arrived at right address. Fill in forms - then wait for over an hour.

Doctor says because Jack wasn’t well it was best to do the testing another time.

After getting home Jack had a minor spew during his next breastfeed. No clothes needing changing for Jack – but some did for Al, along with a Cushion that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And finally… and I kid you not…

While writing the above list Al took Jack to have a shower. A short while later she called from upstairs. I told her I did not want to hear whatever she had to say, but she kept calling. I walked upstairs. Al and Jack were in the bathroom nude, Jack in Al’s arms. He had just done a small poo in the corner. As I watched Jack made a farting noise, then a huge rush of the foulest smelling diarrhoea exploded from his backside, showering the bathroom floor.

With my queasy stomach, I actually came close to vomiting during the cleanup.

Today sucked.

Jack on the other hand was for the most part, in a pretty good mood.

Posted by Doug at 6:28 PM

Jacked turned 13 months this week. Yet again a milestone was reached while being overshadowed by illness. In this case it was my illness rather than Jack's. I started feeling unwell a couple weeks ago, and the doctor determined last Friday that I had Laryngitis and a virus.

Last Friday was the first day since Jack was born that I really felt I needed to just lie down all day. Of course that is close to impossible, although I did manage to lie as much as I could with Jack played nearby. It of course happened on a day when Doug was hit with a new client with no notice, and had to work hard all day. Thankfully he was able to mind Jack while I went to the doctors and went out to buy food.

Here we are a week on, and I am still sick. I have gone through an intense sore throat, difficulty swallowing, partial voice loss, very congested nose, trouble breathing, and various other flu like symptoms along the way. Poor Doug has had to put up with a lot of whinging from me.

Not being able to take anything (due to still breastfeeding), not being able to rest properly (due to taking care of Jack and working), and not sleeping properly at night (since I feel worse and it keeps me awake) has all taken its toll on me. I have not been feeling well enough to cook much, so we have been eating too much takeaway and snack meals, which is not helping.

Thankfully Jack had been happy during the days (he had 3 great days at childcare this week), although has been a little congested and unsettled at night. He has also shown increased interest this week in eating whatever I was eating, and has been rejecting jar foods regularly. He ate some of his first 'proper' meals along with me - shepherd's pie, toasted tuna, avocado, and soy cheese sandwiches, and mashed vegies with tuna this week. We were just commenting last night at what a good sign this was, and how great it is to see him eating 'family meals'. I pulled out the baby cookbooks again with renewed enthusiasm to look for ideas to try.

How much can change in 24 hours. Doug has outlined in his entry the day we have had with Jack hit hard by a gastro bug (although he still seems happy enough, just tired and lethargic), and a long excursion for allergy testing that only resulted in lots of waiting and an initial consultation only (due to Jack being sick). All on a day when I have been feeling terrible and Doug has also felt ill from gastro type effects, and on one of the few days Doug has had off work since Jack was born.

Today has been one of the hardest days we have had since Jack was born. We know all parents go through these types of days, and our parents must have gone through many with us. Doug and I are reluctant to ask anyone to help and take pride in our independence, but we have admitted to ourselves in the past week that it is the first time since Jack arrived that we would seriously have considered asking someone for help. (Of course this happened at a time when Grandma Q is away overseas!) It really is tough to be sick yourselves and look after a sick baby. We know we are likely to have to go through this many more times before Jack grows up, which is a daunting thought.

Despite all this illness I was able to celebrate my birthday on Monday as planned. It was the first full day off (well - day off during Jack's childcare hours of 9am to 4pm) since Jack was born, and it was a real shame to be feeling sick on this day. My sister had flown in from Singapore for 4 days to celebrate with me on the day (something I really appreciate, since she makes a real effort to fly home from wherever she is working around the world to be here) so we pushed ahead with our plans regardless. I enjoyed a spa treatment of 'herbal hot oil body wrap', which I found extremely relaxing, and exactly what I needed for some pampering. We then met up with my brother for lunch in Chapel St, saw a movie (a good light hearted comedy), had coffee and cake, and then my sister came out to our place to see Jack and have dinner. It was a very full day and made the most of my birthday (although perhaps in hindsight, overdid it). We had planned to do a 'family excursion' last weekend to take Jack to a nearby farm, but we have had to postpone this until we all feel well enough. I also received many great gifts, phone calls and emails from family and friends that is always appreciated.

Summary of latest developments for Jack at his 13-month milestone:

- Pointing at everything. He has shown particular interest in all the pictures around the house. It is great having this extra cue - with him being able to show us what he is interested in.

- Fascinated with real and toy phones. He gets really excited any time a phone rings (even on TV). He puts phones up to his ear and chatters away in his baby babble, then pauses as if listening to the response. He loves handing it to us to talk into. He also makes a hello sound (aa-low) into it.

- Loves crawling away from us, and having us chase and tickle him

- Loves climbing up onto the couches in his downstairs play area (with help

- His baby noises are expanding all the time. Includes 'brrm' for cars, 'tick tock' for clocks, 'te-ti' for teddy, ta, more (for more food), na for no, as well as a cute range of multi-syllable sounds that he strings together (like bee-dar)

- Much happier to be passed to other people and even stretches his arms towards his carers and swim teachers to go willingly to them for hugs.

- Moving away from purees and mashes onto more solid meals, and much more willing to try new foods. Particularly wants to eat what we are eating.

- Still has only 2 teeth

- Looking smart after his first hair cut

Posted by Al at 11:52 PM

I spent some 12 hours in total cleaning yesterday – and managed to get through only about half of what needed to be done. The high chair, bedding, car seat, and piles and piles of clothes were sorted, soaked, washed and dried, floors and furniture were mopped and wiped, and shopping and visits to the chemist were completed. This morning however I can only see what still needs to be done. Today I plan to ignore as much of that as possible and try to relax.

Jack is currently on a diet of Breast milk, water, cuddles and sleep. He slept almost constantly for the last 36 hours. He has demanded his mum stay very close, so she has spent most of that time also in bed. This morning both are still obviously unwell, but both seem better for their rest. It seems likely that we will need to take Jack to the doctor tomorrow.

This is probably the most worn out I have felt since Jack was born. On the positive side, it is surprising at what you can actually cope with.

Posted by Doug at 9:04 AM

More vomit, more diarrhoea, more washing, more scrubbing.

Normally in a situation like this I can bring my situation back into context by remembering it is nothing new - almost all parents go through it, many going through far worse. Today however that doesn't help.

Jack seems to be feeling a little better than yesterday - he isn't sleeping as much for example. He is still however obviously unwell.

Al has been teaching Jack to say 'up' when she picks him up. Just before Jack was in his portacot, whinging, arms lifted, saying "up, up, up, up, up". A reminder that parents should be extra careful about what they teach their children...

Posted by Doug at 12:34 PM

Al and Jack stayed home today. Jack is still unwell, but seems on the mend. Al on the other hand has picked up the same stomach bug.

At times like this you can forget just how amazing it all is.

I was folding some of Jack’s freshly clean clothes tonight when I was caught by the size of one of his tops. So small, yet so big. Jack interacts with us in so many ways, and shows such happiness and clear love for us. We are so lucky to have the little man in our lives.

Vomit, poo, crying and all.

Posted by Doug at 11:54 PM

I drove into work without my keys again – I’ll blame my four hours of interrupted sleep. It was probably for the best – I ended up working from home, holding Jack every time poor old Al needed to run to the loo.

I went out this morning for some bread and dry biscuits, and came back with a full trolley load of groceries. It helped replenished the cupboards and fridge. I then covered my eight hours of work; hand washed my car (horrifyingly I think that was the first time since Jack was born!); and finished off by spending most of the evening cleaning and doing laundry. The house finally seems in good order, and I’m feeling the most settled I’ve felt in weeks.

Jack is on the mend, and Al appears to have also turned the corner, be it rather slowly.

This last week has been an experience. Hopefully we are now coming out the other side. I don’t find myself thinking, “Wow, good to know our coping skills are better than thought”, instead it is “Crap, hope that never happens again.”

Posted by Doug at 11:10 PM

My father came down last night. Today we drove in to the Shrine of Remembrance to attend the Vietnam Veterans’ Day Ceremony. It was the first time I had attending anything like that with Dad. He answered a couple of my questions, and I understood just a little bit more about the time he had spent “in country”. I will have to learn more from him, so that I can recount it for Jack.

Posted by Doug at 10:05 PM

The last couple days has seen us cheering due to the existence of solid poo in Jack’s nappies. Poo seems to be a fairly common topic of conversation now that we are parents, but the cheering seems to take it to a new level.

Jack seems to have gotten over his stomach bug, but without pause run into his next teething period. Vomit has been replaced with tantrums and knocking his head against hard objects. We went to a shopping centre today to have coffee and cake, and to distract Jack for a while.

 

Tantrums? Me? Couldn’t be.

Posted by Doug at 7:30 PM

We resorted to more distraction today – taking Jack to visit another local parkland while I took photos.

 

Jack’s tantrums have stepped up, as have his head banging antics. If he isn’t getting what he wants he cries hard. If he is being carried, he throws himself backwards and forwards, and tries to head butt you. If he is on the floor he throws him self prostrate and starts banging his head against the ground. If he is standing, he starts hitting his head against the nearest hard object.

Wow – it is frazzling me. He hit his head so hard against the highchair table last night he gave himself a blood nose. I’ve noticed he has braced himself a little more cautiously today before hitting things, but you can still hear the knocking noise.

And it goes on and on. It isn’t always easy to distract him from it.

After three weeks Al finally seems to have gotten over her series of ailments, and is handling this latest incarnation of Jack well. After three weeks of running myself ragged, my tolerance seems to be at an all time low.

I hope this is just the teething Jack, and not some new self-mutilating banshee Jack.

Posted by Doug at 10:22 PM

Jack had a couple great days at Childcare, a good afternoon with me on Monday, and a bit of a rascally afternoon with his Mum on Tuesday. He has continued to be extra work this week, but thankfully not as extreme as he was on Sunday.

The tantrums and head banging continue, but Jack apparently learnt his lesson after the blood nose. He now braces himself more carefully before head butting an object, and often tests the objects hardness with a soft tap or two. I guess I am going to have to get used to this odd mix of intelligent logic and bizarre irrational behaviour, at least until he gets into his mid 20s.

We guess this has been a consequence of teething, and behaviour he has observed at Childcare.

Speaking of Childcare, Al and I were remarking again this week on just how good it has been for Jack. He has been far more interested in solid food, interacts much better with others, and is picking up new noises and actions every week. (The latest are kissing noises and clicking his tongue in his mouth.)

He has a huge range of new noises and baby babble, but it is the clear way he communicates with us that has stood out this week.

He says Mum, Dad, More, No, Up, This, There, That, Ta, "Tick Tock" and Hooray in appropriate ways, often in conjunction with pointing.

“This”, “That” and “There” can be used a little interchangeably. Generally however “This” is used in reference to an object he has or is close to him, “That” in reference to an object he is interested in that is not as close, and “There” as a place or direction he wants to go.

I was feeding him on Monday – after I put him in the high chair he clapped and said hooray. (Well, he said “raay”, but we know what he means.) As I carried a jar of food over he pointed at it saying “That”, and repeating “more, more”. If I wasn’t spooning it in quick enough, he’d gesture and say “more, more”. When he had eaten enough he put his hand up in a stopping motion and said “nah, nah, Dad, Dad”.

It is amazing just how well he can communicate with only 10 odd words.

He also laughs and claps at appropriate times, has the animal noises down for Cow, Lion, Monkey, Elephant and Duck, and follows directions to lift his arms, waves, and even to turn around. (He has picked up going down stairs and getting off couches backwards now. If I see he has forgotten and is attempting to go down face first, I only have to do a circle motion with my hand and he will stop himself and turn around.)

Add to that are a whole heap of repeated noises or actions for other animals and objects that he doesn’t quite do consistently enough yet to claim as “mastered”.

(I hope at some point in time in the future that Jack will really appreciate reading about these sorts of things.)

Posted by Doug at 4:08 PM

Thankfully we have all finally recovered from the spate of illness that descended on the household. After being sick constantly for 3 weeks, I am relieved to be feeling 'normal' again.

Unfortunately it is also a very busy and stressful time at work for me. I managed to take a couple of sick days during the 3 weeks of illness, but otherwise persevered mainly by working from home. This in turn probably contributed to how long it took me to recover, and was probably why I succumbed to each illness in the first place.

It really is tough not having the chance to fully rest and recover when you are sick, especially if you have to mind a baby (particularly a sick one) at the same time. I am now focused on trying to eat more healthily and look after myself better. (As much as is possible when leading such a busy life.) Jack has also gone straight back to feeding 2-3 times a day since being ill.

It is also a relief to see Jack feeling better. He lost weight quickly when he was ill, but seems to be putting it back on rapidly now that he is back on normal solids again. He continues to be very interested in eating whatever we are eating, and this week has taken up sharing my morning bowl of Wheat Bix and Soy milk.

Unfortunately Jack went straight from illness into teething behaviour (one of top teeth has partially come through the gum), and beginning to throw full tantrums. It has been very strange to see him suddenly intent on hitting his head hard against the ground, his high chair, cot, walls, us if we are holding him, or any other hard object nearby.

He lay down on the mat at swimming and started to hit his head against it. The swimming teacher (who has 2 young kids) informed me it is a normal stage that some kids will go through. Her health nurse advised her not to worry about it when one of her children did it. She said her child only did it for about 2 weeks - we can only hope Jack stops the behaviour this quickly and of his own accord.

Jack is also very intent on being put down on the ground at the moment, and throws an instant tantrum if we don't. Alternatively, if we do put him down but he heads straight to the video or stereo he will throw a tantrum when we pull him off them. It feels like we are not yet over all the baby issues, and are suddenly confronted with more 'toddler' type behaviour as well.

On a more positive note, I am enjoying being back in our 'normal' routine of activities. I think both Jack and I were feeling quite out of sorts after a whole week of being confined at home sick together, and are happier being out and about. We also all enjoyed an outing to Braeside Park on the weekend. Jack gets very excited seeing birds flying about, and this park had an abundance of bird life. Jack excitedly points at any birds he sees. He also gets excited at home when he hears birds outside and points out the window so we have to wander outside and see if we can 'spot the birdie'. Similarly he points outside with excitement when he hears any of the neighbourhood dogs barking.

It is also a pleasure watching the enjoyment Jack gets out of every day things that adults take no notice of. Whenever he hears the washing machine going his eyes light up, and he does a 'swish swish' motion with his hand and makes a similar noise. He can happily watch the clothes swirling around in the washing machine for ages. He also enjoys going outside to watch the garbage truck empty the rubbish bins each week. There is some excavation work being done beside our local shopping centre at the moment (which is keeping Doug and I guessing as to what is going on), and every time we walk past we have to halt the pram so Jack can stare fascinated at all the machinery digging and moving the dirt around. Having a young child (can't really say baby any more!) does remind you to take joy in every day life.

Tonight - after another dinner where Jack liberally dispersing all the food options presented straight onto the floor, Doug reminded me (once again) how lucky I am to have a husband who cleans the mess up after Jack and I move on to another room. I whole-heartedly agree! I am well aware of how lucky I am to have a husband who does all the washing and sorting of clothes, towels and bed linen, as well as does all the general tidying up around the house. (A fact really emphasized over the past few weeks of sickness.) Even when Doug was sick himself, he kept the house turning over with all the washing and cleaning. Without this help, I would really have been floundering even more than I already was. Whenever Doug asks me why I married him, I often reply that it is because he is such a good househusband! I knew this about Doug before we were married (after sharing a place together for some time beforehand) but I didn't fully know just how good he is at it, and what a great quality it is to have in a husband!

Further on the weekend, after our excursion to Braeside Park, I also reflected to Doug that it is lucky we enjoy each other's company so much, and how we are able to do such outings together as a family. It is easy to take each other for granted, but every now and again you are reminded how lucky you are in finding a great partner.

Posted by Al at 8:13 PM

My parents are back visiting this weekend – they came baring some bad news that I will recount at another time.

I had the opportunity to speak with my Mum tonight about some of my Dad’s Vietnam experiences. Taking what I already knew, some of what Dad mentioned last week, and linking in with what my Mum knew, I was able to piece together a slightly better understanding. I want to note that here while I remember, so Jack will have it.

Dad was drafted. He was the best shot in the group he trained with – I assume because of his shooting background. Because of this it was assumed he would be posted to a combat unit. He went to Vietnam as a general reinforcement, to be allocated to whatever unit required him. I think there were five other people that went over at the same time in that group of reinforcements.

Dad had not been in Vietnam all that long, but had been on a small number of combat patrols. During one of these a helicopter landed with the water replenishment, and Dad was told to get on. Once back at camp, he was told he was being assigned to the Australian Logistic Support Group (1ALSG). He queried that – having actually expected to be assigned to Fire Support Base (FSB) Coral, but in the end did as he was ordered. The five other soldiers were assigned to FSB Coral – three of them subsequently dying within a couple weeks.

Dad had a difficult time with that – I guess not helped by the fact those in combat units could be derogative of those in the 1ALSG. (I see and read that on personal websites even now.)

My Mum worked with my Dad’s Mum. (Nan, who recently passed.) My Nan told her that she could not stand the stress of Dad being in Vietnam. She told her Doctor, who contacted the Army to say his patient’s health was being directly affected. Dad was then subsequently assigned to a non-combat unit.

Recently my Father has said that he could not know for certain if his Mum’s approach had any effect on his assignment in Vietnam. My Mum said however at the time he was very angry, and had said to her (and me over the years), that he could never forgive his mother for that. My Dad did not want to be assigned to a combat unit – but even worse was the thought someone else had to be assigned in his place.

One thing he remarked on last week was that to him he felt like he flew into Vietnam by himself (as a reinforcement), and when he left, flew home by himself.

There is much I need to learn about his time in Vietnam, for it had a profound and lasting effect on him. Today has seemed like a good start.

Posted by Doug at 12:09 AM

Jack’s teething continues – yesterday joined by a cold. He had a fever, chesty cough and wheezy breath. Today it has gotten worse - adding discharge from one eye (thankfully not looking like conjunctivitis), racing heart and quick shallow breaths. The poor little guy is feeling miserable, and staying close to his Mum and sleeping lots. Looks like another trip to the doctors tomorrow, and more time off work for Al.

(I say that easily, but the time off is leaving us uncomfortable, and might start to cause issues at Al’s work.)

The other day I was talking about the benefits of childcare. This sort of thing is the negative.

Posted by Doug at 11:18 PM

We seem to have misplaced optimism when it comes to Jack’s medical diagnosis – I suspect this is the reverse of what most parents have.

Last time we were hesitant to take Jack to the doctor for a cough, it turned out to be croup. This time the eye discharge was in fact conjunctivitis, and while he does have a bad cold as expected, the wheezing and difficulty breathing is apparently asthma. (The doctor indicated it wasn’t surprising since he has food allergies and gets eczema easily.) It seems rather obvious now, but we didn’t have a clue beforehand.

The first dose of Ventolin seemed to help. Future doses should help more, assuming he stops holding his breath and takes more of it in!

Way to feel like bad parents. Again.

I came home to care for Jack for half a day, so Al didn’t have to carry the full load. Instead I have been flat out still working, and Al has had Jack attached to her shoulder, alternating between sleep, complaining, and wiping all sorts of gunk onto her clothes.

I must remember to take a photo of Jack – green goo in the eyes, green snot pouring out of his nose, and excess teething drool, all running down his face. Just the sort of thing he’d like to see as a teenager. Maybe we can threaten to show it to his friends as a form of blackmail? Yes – already thinking about strategies to survive his teenage years.

Posted by Doug at 3:57 PM

I spoke too soon regarding all being well. Jack is now sick again, and I have had more time off work to look after him. Finding out he has asthma has been the worst aspect of the current sickness. Other illnesses have been a temporary state (although sometimes it feels like they are never ending). We will have to continue to monitor how his asthma develops, and have been warned to treat it as an emergency if he is really struggling to breathe.

It is not overly surprising that he has asthma, given we had already been told that cradle cap, eczema and food allergies are all common for asthma sufferers. The same if the family suffers from hay fever (as both Doug and I do).

While on the one hand I am ready to sigh with relief that winter is nearly over, spring is also hay fever season, and the doctor suggested that whatever triggers hay fever in us will likely trigger asthma in Jack.

It came as a bit of a shock to us to find out he had asthma. Even though we had noticed his wheezing over the past few days, we had attributed it to the current illness (viral infection including bad cough and chest infection). With asthma on top of that, as well as conjunctivitis, it has been a bad combination!

Now a note of reflection. I have calculated that today Jack is the exact age I was when my father died (an untimely early death in a car accident). It is hard to even comprehend the thought of never seeing Jack grow and develop further if anything were to happen to Doug or I. On the other hand, I can see that we have shared a great deal of early development steps to date, as well as seeing his individual personality emerge. I now have a better understanding of what part of my life my Dad actually got to share, even if I can't remember it myself.

While we can see personality traits developing in Jack, we find it hard to imagine what sort of person he may turn out to be in the longer term - what he will be like by school age, as a teenager, and as an adult. It is sad to know that my father never had the opportunity to see the person I have become, as well as my sister (who was just over 2 when he died) and my brother (who was not even born when he died). It is also sad that we never had the opportunity to know him directly, other than what we have been told by my mother and grandparents, and been able to observe through his brothers.

It is a reminder to never take life for granted, and for us to enjoy and treasure the time with Jack each and ever day. You just never know how long you have. At least by pausing every now and again to think of my father, his memory stays alive. Although he only lived a relatively short life, he packed a lot into it, and a part of him lives on in myself, my siblings, and in the grandchildren he never had the opportunity to know.

Posted by Al at 2:29 PM

I glanced at my shoulder before to see dried baby snot and drool - the mark of a parent with a sick child.

We have had some tough times in the last 24 hours, but Jack is finally showing signs of improvement. At his return doctors visit this morning Al was told that his heart had been racing at 160 beats during the previous visit (hence the follow up today). It was still fast today, but not as high. He still had a fever, but not as high. He still had a rattly chest and raspy breath, but again, not as bad.

The result was another prescription, this time for the chest infection, and the extension of the careers sick certificate to cover the rest of the week.

The Asthma medication has also made a positive difference. I feel horrible that we didn’t realise how laboured his breathing was before.

I had a work phone and IM conversation today that went like the following:

A> Are you ok for me to take B on Wednesday?

Me> No

A> But I need B

Me> B is not available

A> But I need B

Me> B is not available

A> What if I give you C on Friday?

Me> Then you could have B on Friday

A> But I need B on Wednesday

Me> B is not available on Wednesday

A> What if I give you D on Wednesday

Me> D is not suitable to cover B’s work

A> Can D cover any of it?

Me> Yes, D could cover 1.5 hours

A> So I can have B then

Me> No, B would still have 6 hours of scheduled work

A> But what if I give you C on Friday as well

Me> B would still need to do 6 hours of work on Wednesday

A> But..

Me> Listen...

That was probably one of the stranger resource related conversations I have had at my currently job, particularly as the person had no control over the people they were offering, and I already had access to them if I needed. It seemed to be an amateurish attempt to mimic a common consulting management trick – asking the same question over and over again with slight variations so that the repeated no answers make it look like you are the unreasonable and obstructive person.

Posted by Doug at 11:05 PM

It has been another difficult day with Jack. He has been very quick to cry, especially immediately after coughing. I think he is generally on the mend from his cold and chest infection, but I suspect his teeth are hurting him (the second top front tooth is now coming through) and that he has a sore throat like his mum. We are both looking forward to getting our healthy Jack back.

I took Jack shopping today to allow Al to get some work done. I purchased my Father’s day gift (a new wallet). At the counter the service lady said it was sad that I had to buy my own gift. Since I tend to keep a wallet for years, I thought it was smart to pick out exactly what I wanted. A lady waiting next to the counter asked if I made my wife breakfast in bed on Fathers day. I said no. She indicated she forced her husband to, to reward her for making him a father.

I think I need to work on being less approachable.

Posted by Doug at 11:54 PM

It has been another difficult day with Jack. Again he has been very quick to cry, very demanding, very unsettled. He seems to be a little better – but that just means his complaints are more energetic and harder to placate. He spends all night attached to his mum, crying in fits and starts, and requiring special effort to calm at least once.

I am quietly surprised by our ability to cope, but it just seems to keep going on and on. Much like my complaining at the moment.

Posted by Doug at 10:20 PM

My Parents visited last weekend. They came to tell us that Mum had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She was operated on Monday afternoon, and is currently recovering in Hospital in good spirits, surrounded by a florist shop worth of flowers. There are test results to wait on, chemo, hair loss, and more tests to come. My Mum is a very strong, practical person, and is handling this exceptionally well. She is also a private person, so it would be inappropriate for me to go into detail.

It would also be inappropriate for me not to mention it.

I am somewhat frazzled. All of us kids are very close to Mum. We love and respect her – she is a great mum and a great person. I know in the back of my mind I’m just thinking everything will be fine once the treatment is over. It is not the usual blind optimism I am known for, but the alternatives are a little too hard to comprehend.

Mum said during her visit that life goes on, as it should. Every time the situation sneaks up on my consciousness and I pause to ponder, I notice now life continues to move on around me. I have similar recollections of the time immediately after Jack was born. I had this monumental change to my life, but life itself flowed on with barely an acknowledgement.

Posted by Doug at 11:22 PM