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Saturday, July 03, 2010
Grace wearing Jack's hand me downs
So far we have been able to recycle about 20% of Jack's clothes and 100%
of his toys for Grace. Every so often while watching Grace we get strong
flash backs to Jack at a similar age.
Posted by Doug at 8:11 PM
Last weekend was a busy one. On Saturday we all went to a 5 year old
birthday party in the Dandenong’s, which was freezing cold and wet. Al
then went to Essendon with Grace to catch up with Irene and Damien (down
for the day from Canberra), and I took Jack to another 5 year old
birthday party in Mt Eliza. Picture 20 girls dressed as fairy’s, with
makeup, nails and hair done, tons of glitter, and a handful of boys more
interested in playing outside in the cold. On Sunday I took Jack to
another 5 year old birthday party.
The continual flood of sickness continues – heading towards 6 months
straight now. Grace has missed two of the last three weeks of childcare
due to bad colds and ear infections. It seems she just gets over one
bug, to immediately pick up the next from Childcare. This has not been
helped by some nasty teething and poor nights where she has got
inconsolable about how unwell she was feeling. Al has also struggled
with numerous colds, stomach and sinus complaints, including for the
last four days. We are rather fed up with this cycle.
Al and the kids are trying to have a quiet weekend at home – in
preparation for getting Grace back to Childcare, and for Al to be well
enough to take Jack to Disney on Ice (some one on one bonding time she
planned for two months ago). I’ve been running around spending money
and lots of my time on technology, which I have enjoyed. (Setting up a
PvR, in part to cover for our DVD/HDD recorder which needs to go in for
repairs, getting ready to upgrade our wireless network and change ISPs,
updating to Office 2010, and making more use of the NAS. Good quality
geek time.)
Posted by Doug at 10:02 PM
Sunday, July 04, 2010
I've added 15 odd photos to the blog covering the last 6 months. They
can be found in the archive sections for -
Janurary
March
April
May
June
I have also added Blog entries from Al -
9th November, 2009
15th December, 2009
11th January, 2010
12th Janurary, 2010
21st March, 2010
Posted by Doug at 10:57 AM
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
It is Jack’s 5th birthday tomorrow. I have been re-reading parts of this
blog over the last few days, and have been reminded on just how
difficult a kid he has been. In turn, it has also highlighted just how
far he has come (in the last 6 months especially). He still throws
tantrums, still has his anxieties, and is still over demanding. However
– it is not constant now.
He will almost always stay in bed until at least 6:30am. Some days he
will deliberately sleep in longer. Once awake he will often just say
hello to me on his way to the toilet, but then will play happily in his
room by himself for up to an hour.
Most mornings I will put out his clothes for him and then go downstairs.
When he is ready he will wander down and I will make him breakfast.
This has allowed Grace and Al to often sleep in, and makes a real
difference for both of them. Through most of this time Jack is a
pleasant and happy little kid.
Throughout the day he will often spend 30+ minutes by himself here and
there without complaining. While that is mostly watching TV or playing
on Al’s computer, it is still much better than how he previously was,
and allows Al to focus on Grace.
While he certainly throws tantrums and gets upset at the drop of a hat,
it isn’t as constant as it used to be. (Tonight – over tired from
childcare and late on getting food, he had multiple meltdowns. Amusingly
during one of these he had slammed a plastic ball down hard on the floor
in anger – only to have it bounce immediately back up and clock him on
the chin. I managed not to laugh at the time – although find myself
chuckling away right now…)
There is still a long way to go, but at least as he turns 5, I can say
there has been a great improvement in his behaviour from when he turned
4. Here’s hoping it continues in that direction.
Posted by Doug at 11:05 PM
Thursday, July 08, 2010
We had a quiet family birthday for Jack, which went well. We caved in
and purchased him some atrocious Ben 10 contraption that was expensive,
fiddly, and will very obviously fall apart quickly. Jack had been
harping on it for literally more than a year, and was delighted to
unwrap it.
Jack seems to have been five for some time. Maybe it is the fact he is
wearing size 6 clothing, or maybe his comprehension of the world around
him. Anyway, when things are going well for him he seems much older
than 5. On the flip side, when things are not going well, he acts far
more like a two year old.
Posted by Doug at 7:52 PM
Monday, July 19, 2010
Jack had a Kinder Gym birthday party this year. He had attended one last
year, and had wanted to do the same ever since. While the activities
were organised, the food afterwards was self-catered.
Because Al is mostly tied up with taking care of the kids, the kitchen,
or work, the party mostly fell to me to organise. While Al helped where
she could, there ending up being a substantial amount of running around
and shopping required. I spent most of the party setting up the food,
and then cleaning up afterwards. Thankfully the sister in law and a
couple parents jumped in to help set up, and more joined afterwards to
quickly clean up. With their help and all the preparations, it seemed
to go well.
I must admit I felt a lot of anxiety beforehand. In part it was for all
the running around and ensuring everything came together ok, and in part
as I had to make most of the decisions, so was at fault if it didn’t all
work. For the most part however I was worried about it going well for
Jack. I would have hated for him to have been embarrassed or put out by
the party we threw.
Even at Jack’s age birthday parties are judged and impact on their day
to day interactions with other kids. Earlier this year we were
attending a party when I overheard a young child remark “Dad, <XXXXX>’s
party is very boring.” The parent looked around in embarrassment, and
then quietly explained that the child shouldn’t say such things. (Which
got a “But it is” retort.)
It is not about pandering to the whims of kids, or keeping up with, or
surpassing the Jones. It is just ensuring you don’t make life harder
for your kids by embarrassing them in front of their peers! I know this
relates to my own birthday party related experiences and phobias from my
youth, but regardless it was still my biggest stress about the day.
As it was, it seemed to all go very well. Next year, we will find a
place that also caters…
As the kids do their gymnastics lesson...
... afternoon tea is prepared.
Just as an aside – I have noticed Jack just expects a birthday party.
Back in my day we did not have a friend’s party every year, and when we
did, it usually involved only a couple people. How times have changed.
Posted by Doug at 5:46 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Grace is now getting around on her bike and scooter.
Posted by Doug at 6:21 PM
In the 10 days between his birthday and his actual party, Jack was
frequently difficult. He was rude, defiant, and often angry any time
something did not go to plan, regardless how minor it was. We suspected
it was anxiety about his party, since he was counting down the days and
remarking frequently on how excited he was. In the end we got rather fed
up with his behaviour, and started putting him to bed 5 minutes early
for every time he did his “I am very angry’ routine for silly reasons.
On the day of the party Jack was actually pretty good, until we got home
afterwards. Then he gave us some of his worst behaviour in weeks. While
we understood it was obviously the “let it all out” afterwards period,
we were too tired from all our running around to be that accommodating.
Since then his angry levels do seem to have diminished, but he is back
to being overly demanding.
I feel sorry for the little boy. He brings the worst of his behaviour
out when we are the most tired, most distracted, or most busy. We are
just not in a position any more to pander to his complex and plentiful
whims and demands, and get impatient with him when he just keeps on and
on at us. When his behaviour is naughty, we are also pretty firm on
him. There is such a big gap between the attention Jack wants, and what
we can give.
Posted by Doug at 7:34 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Al was lamenting the other day how she is being forced to work on Monday
and Tuesday nights to make up hours, because she leaves the office early
to pick the kids up from childcare. She remarked that she missed the
time when I used to pick up Jack from Childcare, and take care of him
until she got home from work after 6pm.
I lamented the fact my own work days regularly stretched late into the
evenings, because instead of starting before 7am each morning, I was now
usually busy taking care of Jack while Al and Grace sleep in. I offered
to pick up the kids if she in turn went back to waking up with Jack at
6:30am each morning, so that I could finish my work day in time.
She declined to give up her sleep ins.
Posted by Doug at 2:52 PM
I’ve had a very busy day of constant work that I have had to focus on.
Jack has been interrupting me more than usual with requests. I have to
constantly answer no, say that I am busy, and send him on his way. A
number of times I have had to shut my door and tell him not to enter,
and to stop interrupting me.
Grace is harder work than normal today, so Al can’t run her normal
interceptions. Jack is being polite most of the time, but I can tell
from the despondent looks and slumped shoulders that a day of being sent
away by his Dad is getting to him.
Jack can’t really appreciate the fact I am at home and around, he can
only see that I am too busy for him. It is not common, but today is
probably one of those few days where it would have been easier being in
the office.
Posted by Doug at 4:57 PM
Friday, July 23, 2010
Jack cannot cope with his needs or demands not being met instantly. I
assume that is partly our fault, but I am not sure how to "fix it".
Not a particularly stellar day so far. Jack is being pretty demanding
and complaining lots, and after a week of sleep issues with Grace, and
the ever present work stress, Al is at times on (and over) the edge.
It is reminiscent of the first few months of Grace’s life. While
unpleasant to revisit, it is at least a reminder of how far we have all
come since then. I will take Jack out this afternoon for a while to give
both of them a break.
Posted by Doug at 1:03 PM
One of the presents Jack got for his birthday was a $20 gift voucher.
This afternoon I took him to Toys R Us to spend it. He pointed out a
large number of items which I kept having to parrot were too expensive.
He seemed to accept that, and after going from one side of the shop to
the other, he found half a dozen items within his price range that he
wanted. After pondering for a short while, he settled on a Ben 10 Alien
and a pair of Bakugan figurines.
He proved to have an eye for a bargain with both items on sale, in total
marked down from $45 to $20. He poured over his loot on the drive home,
and remarked how fantastic they were.
In the end the process of picking a present for himself was the best
gift. It was probably one of the first times he had to really work
within the concept of what was affordable and what wasn’t, make a list
of options for himself, and then chose some over others. He handled it
very well – wasn’t rushed, accepted the limitations, and made an
carefully judged decision at the end.
Posted by Doug at 4:10 PM
Sunday, July 25, 2010
We attended the surprise 40th birthday party for one of Al’s step
sisters last night, which went well. Possibly as a sign of us all
getting older, it finished relatively early.
The kids were baby sat by Jacqueline again, a childcare worker from
Jack’s old centre. Soon after her arrival both Jack and Grace were
animatedly interacting with her, and barely paused to acknowledge us
leaving. We are certainly very comfortable leaving the kids in her care,
knowing that they like her, and that she is very experienced. It also
helps that she is relatively cheap! (Although having said that, it still
cost us $100 for the night.) She remarked again that the kids were a
delight to take care of.
I’ve had a very busy three weeks upgrading our home network
infrastructure and broadband, which is almost finished now. We have
amalgamated our broadband, security and phone into a central hub and
onto the one line, changed our ISP and upgraded from ADSL 1 to ADSL2,
moved to Gigabit switches, gone to 802.11n wireless with better
security, had cables run to the lounge room so that our PVR is on the
network, now have the ability to use a 3G modem as a backup if ADSL goes
down (very important for working from home), and replaced Al’s
downstairs laptop with a new one.
It has taken some effort – for example, just changing the wireless
network required the updating of four laptops and two iPhones, most with
different hardware and software. Once the final couple steps are
completed, I look forward to turning on some of the extra features on
our NAS and PVR – such as allowing Al to watch our home videos of the
kids on the main TV whenever she feels like it, or setting TV shows to
be recorded via the web.
Posted by Doug at 11:08 PM
Friday, July 30, 2010
Jack has been running a temperature the last couple days. It seemed to
clear this morning and we thought he was over it, but he conked out this
afternoon and spent the rest of the day quietly watching TV. Tonight
after tea he fell asleep on the couch. Grace thought that was amusing,
and was yelling at him, saying “Boo”, and laughing. Jack slept through
it all.
Posted by Doug at 6:25 PM
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