I had one of the most productive and relaxed days I’ve had in over a month, and managed to cross half a dozen items off my to do list. It is amazing how much better you feel for cleaning up some of the clutter around yourself.

We were up again pretty early with Jack, but he had a couple good long naps during the day to make up for it. Al and I used some of the free time to discuss our first year with Jack. It is cliché to say, but as mentioned before, time has both passed by in a flash, and dawdled along extraordinarily slowly. It seems amazing that it is almost a year already, but Jack seems to have been a part of our life for much longer.

As I’ve said before, we feel like we have survived and coped reasonably well. At the same time however we are surprised by just how many challenges we are still facing. We thought it was meant to be a little easier by now.

I’ve found the sacrifices were pretty much as I assumed, although the reality of them still gave a solid punch. The frequency of the interruptions to your normal flow of daily life still throws me. I can be working in my study and be called out to witness Jack doing something new or cute. I can be asleep soundly at 3:30am, then 30 seconds later find myself in the bathroom, hot water running in the shower creating steam, with a congested and upset Jack in my arms. I can be working on a client’s system, then 30 seconds later be cleaning up an explosive nappy. 30 seconds can be a long period of time.

Having said all this, it is far more rewarding than I expected. In fact, I’ve had some of the most rewarding moments in my life over the last 12 months. I haven’t a hope of explaining them in words, but I imagine most parents will know exactly what I am talking about.

On this day 12 months ago I ended my blog posted with “Are we going to get full nights sleep? How many more nights will I be contemplating the same thing...”. I wouldn’t have believed that I would be thinking exactly the same thing today.

Posted by Doug at 11:00 PM

The first day of the new regime is over.

Al dropped Jack off at his second childcare centre at 9am and continued onto her work. I picked him up at 4pm on my way home. He didn’t get overly upset when we arrived or left, which was a good sign. I did not think to ask if he slept, but he did eat well, consuming two serves of pumpkin, his full bottle of breast milk, and a serve of pear. We will have to ask how they managed to get him to eat so well! His careers also said he seemed to have a great day. It was a good start.

I gave Jack a feed, and then let him play downstairs until he showed clear signs of wanting to sleep. I then lay down on our bed with him, and without protest he straightaway got into a position to sleep. After a couple minutes he moved; then moved again – and before you could blink he was wide-awake, crying, and calling for his mum and a breastfeed.

And there in lies the worry with taking care of Jack after childcare. I can imagine that statement would raise indignation and scoffing harrumphs – but remember I pick up a child who has commonly gone 10 or more hours without sleep, probably not feed brilliantly, and whose prime goal in life is to have a breastfeed and collapse into sleep draped across his mum. I am not viewed as a suitable substitute. It can be hard work for both Jack and I.

Jack has shown an early preference for the second childcare centre. A pity – as it is rather expensive. Both his childcare centres posted notes in the last week to indicate their daily rate was going up. At the first centre this increase was $1 a day, at the second more expensive centre it was $5 a day.

Al and I have been talking about money over the last couple weeks. We have looked at how much of it we need to cover a second child – including another maternity leave, replacing one of our cars and what we might replace it with, and the extra childcare and private schooling costs. We reviewed the circumstances if we were to have twins next, and at what age we might again concentrate on our own more expensive goals and our retirement nest egg. I don’t know if other people go to such lengths, but we came out of it knowing how much we would want to save before looking to have a second child, and what sort of budget we could comfortably live within.

Posted by Doug at 10:37 PM

The second day of the new regime is over.

Again Jack didn’t get overly upset at drop off or pick up, slept a couple periods, and ate reasonably well. (This second centre will not allow you to bring in any food at all. They have a kitchen and chief available, and have so far been feeding him mashed vegetables and pureed fruit - with more success than we have had for a long time.)

Jack was pretty tired this afternoon, but any time he was looking like he might drop off he would sit up with a start, cry, and say “nah nah nah … Mum Mum Mum”.

All three of us are a little more tired than normal, but I think with time it will be workable.

We had a team meeting today with my manager. He announced that I was now officially the Team Leader. One person piped up that she thought I already was. My manager nodded and said now it was official. Another asked what changes that might mean. My manager said basically none – I would be doing the same job I have done for a number of years, just now it would be official.

Posted by Doug at 11:35 PM

Jack was up just after 5am this morning. He was in a happy and chatty mood. His mum was also happy – she had filled him up with food before he went to bed, and he had only woken her up for one feed overnight. By the time we dropped him off at Childcare after 9 he was still happy but looking ready for a nap.

Al and I continued on to the local Centrelink office. The government pays about $15 a week of Jack’s Childcare fees, but we got a letter yesterday indicating it would be reduced to $12. Since that didn’t seem to follow our understanding of the rules, we went in today to ask why. It turned out to be some incorrect automatic update, and the Family Assistance Officer apologised. She then said the update was meant for those working less than 15 hours a week, and “not for people like you”.

The tone surprised both Al and I. It was obvious what she meant – that the measure was for people not working hard enough, or who were trying to cheat the system, and wasn’t for “the good working people like you.” I guess being in a Centrelink office would expose you to a lot of unsavoury people – and this officer, in a pleasant, helpful and friendly manner, was categorising us as savoury. I suspect the treatment of the unsavoury wouldn’t have been so nice.

We then stopped off at the shops to pick up some supplies, have a coffee and cake, and then returned home to work solidly for the rest of the day. The day was going well.

I picked up Jack just after 4pm. His cheeks were bright red and he was running an obvious temperature. He hadn’t eaten much, and had only had 30 minutes of sleep. Al gave him a feed when he got home, and because he had only slept about 30 minutes in 12 hours, tried to put him down in his cot. It wasn’t easy as he was clingy, restless and fidgety, but she managed in the end. Just as she served up diner Jack woke up crying.

I brought him down to the kitchen and we tried to feed him again. He was shivering with the temperature and very upset. He managed to eat a dozen baby spoons of puree fruit and half a tub of soy yoghurt. We managed to get about half a dose of medicine into him with the yoghurt before he got distraught and stopped feeding. Then it was onto a steamed up bathroom for a while, and then to bed with Al.

How did such a good day turn bad so quickly? Is it sign of more teeth for Jack, or yet another cold? Jack turns 1 year old tomorrow. We were hoping to visit the Zoo with him in celebration, but now have to wait to see how he pulls up tomorrow.

You can’t take anything for granted.

Posted by Doug at 9:56 PM

He was awake and upset again. He cried enough to make himself throw up some of the breast milk he had an hour earlier. We managed to trick a few more spoonfuls of medicine-laced yoghurt into him, took his top off to leave him in just a singlet, visited a steamed up bathroom where we drew animal pictures for him on the mirror, and then finally back to bed again. This could be a long night.

Here are some pictures from a much happier time, long long ago, all the way back to this morning.

 

This image almost looks like Jack is thinking about what he might get up to next. In reality it caught him in the process of trying to run both his tongue and his finger over his new teeth at the same time. The outcome of this usually involves a great deal of drool on his top. You can see the mild rash on his face. He had eaten a couple new things recently in his diet - as has his mother. On closer examination some of them have traces of milk in them. We are going back to a safer diet for a few days (which has already helped with the rash), and will look to introduce the new foods again, but only one at a time.

Standing up against his mum's knee, Jack is caught above just about to answer his mum's question on what noise does a lion make with his cute "WRaar".

And last of all, and in stark contrast to the tear stained face I was looking at 15 minutes ago, here is Jack being tickled by his mum. He loves his mum very much.

Posted by Doug at 11:03 PM

Wow - Jack is one year old today.

We were all a little raggered first thing this morning - Al in particular. The broken sleep and short bursts of baby crying wears you down. While Jack was out of sorts and obviously teething, he remained mostly congenial through the day, so we were able to celebrate his birthday as planned.

We set up the new toys we got for Jack in his downstairs play area, including some mailed to him from Family and Friends.

His favourite by far was a tractor from his Aunty M. (She is making a habit of finding great gifts.) The day's outing was to the Melbourne Zoo. Jack tired fairly quickly, but seemed to enjoy the Monkeys and Meerkats the most. He behaved really well, all things considered.

I got to put my new camera equipment through its paces again, although the opportunities were a little restricted. The afternoon and early evening were taken up with more play, watching play school, and taking birthday phone calls from family. The festivities will continue tomorrow - although hopefully in a low key and quiet manner.

Al and I both agree that it is hard to put into words what this last year has truly meant for us. One key change was in the dynamic of our household. Instead of being a couple, we are now very much a family. It was as a family that we wanted to celebrate Jack's first birthday.

Posted by Doug at 9:19 PM

We had friends around for afternoon tea today to celebrate Jacks first birthday. I had indicated to Al that I did not want to throw a party for Jack as it would be a great deal of work for something that he would not remember. Instead we settled on having a small afternoon tea, and inviting along some of our friends who had shown real interest in Jack, and who had helped us through Al’s pregnancy and across Jack’s first year with support, tips, stories and advice.

For something that was meant to be quick and easy, I sure had to do a lot of running around today - cleaning and shopping. By the time people started to arrive I was exhausted! We ended up with 11 adults and 6 kids joining us to celebrate.

Jack had a ball. Because these were familiar people, he was relaxed and happily interacting. He was passed around without a single cry, and seemed to enjoy himself immensely. Al also had a great afternoon. I remember thinking as I looked around at one point – “these are the perfect people to celebrate with”.

So in the end the effort was well worthwhile, and we had a really enjoyable and memorable day. Good friends can make such a positive difference when raising a child.

We will celebrate with our families in the coming weeks.

Posted by Doug at 10:14 PM

Jack is now 1! Hard to believe a whole year has passed already, while at the same time it feels like he has been part of our lives for a much longer time. Jack has been a wonderful addition to our family. He is as beautiful as we could have hoped for, with an active, inquisitive and for the most part happy nature. We have really enjoyed watching him develop thus far and look forward to continuing to watch him grow and develop.

Reaching his first birthday feels as much a milestone for us as parents as for Jack. At times it feels like we have thrived, at other times merely survived. It has certainly been a year full of constant change, learning, and on-the-job training for us. I wouldn't say Jack has been an 'easy' baby - he knows what he wants and demands it, yet he can be surprising patient at other times. His separation anxiety, food and sleep issues have all combined to feel like a lot to deal with. He has also been extremely rewarding. The bonds we have both built up with him have been really beautiful. To see how much he loves his mum and dad, his home, his activities, exploring and trying new things as well as loving familiar toys and routines have been a real joy for us.

We had another few difficult nights leading up to Jack's birthday, with regular feeds (every 2-3 hours with crying before, during and after, and at times needing to be up and walked around or given the steam shower treatment). With a fever the night before his birthday, and both Doug and I feeling exhausted, it wasn't boding well for his actual birthday celebrations. He seemed a bit better in the morning, although not wanting to move around too much and wanting to stay close to his mum. Seems to be going through the process proceeding new teeth again. We enjoyed watching him play with his new presents. He looks like a real little boy playing with his new trucks and cars from Auntie Lis (which have quickly become favourite toys once again). After a hesitant start, he has also embraced his new tunnel, our main gift to him. He enjoys crawling back and forth, and hiding and playing 'peekaboo' from inside it.

We decided to push ahead with his first zoo visit as planned on his birthday. It was special to be able to spend the day as our little family of 3, and watching Jack's reactions to all the animals. Since he has been enjoying imitating animal noises, it seemed good timing to introduce him to all the animals at the zoo. He looked actively about and took in many of the animals with great interest, particularly the various types of monkeys, the meerkats, and watching the butterflies flying about.

We appreciated the many gifts and calls from various family members and friends remembering the occasion.

Yesterday he had his first little birthday afternoon tea with some of his little friends and their parents (from mothers group plus a few other close friends). We really have appreciated the support of all these people in helping us through our first year, with their friendship, advice and listening ears. After a well timed (thankfully) long nap beforehand, Jack was the picture of contentment throughout the proceedings. He was happy to be carried around by various people (which is unusual for him), looked comfortable with all the familiar faces around him and played happily with the balloons and toys. I really enjoyed the opportunity to have a small happy gathering of friends and be able to relax and enjoy the proceedings while observing Jack enjoying himself. We couldn't have hoped for the afternoon to have gone better - it was just one of those perfect days when everything comes together well and made the efforts to prepare for it all worthwhile. We look forward to continuing his celebrations in the coming weeks with our families.

Jack seems to be adapting well to his new childcare centre, sleeping and eating their food, which is a big relief. The rascal is eating vegetables for them (sweet potato and pumpkin thus far) while still refusing it for me at home!

I did find it tiring to do the 2 days in the office at the start of the week, but at least by getting it over with early it makes for a more relaxing end to the week. I felt a bit more relaxed with the working from home also. It will still take a little while to fully adjust to the new timetable, but we got off to a good start this week.

Summary of Jack’s latest developments:

- has started saying 'na' (for no), particularly when he doesn't want more of a particular food. I am trying to encourage him to also say 'more' (if he wants more) which he sometimes manages.

- loves initiating peekaboo games, such as hiding behind his blanket when driving in the car, from within his new tunnel, and just at lunch today he was hiding behind the play area wall and peeking out at me as I ate my lunch in the family room.

- has 2 teeth, with suspected more on the way

- is getting more comfortable with being held by other people (we suspect childcare has helped in this regard)

- has started looking at things he wants and stretching out his arms and saying 'dis' (which I take to mean 'what's this' or 'I want this')

- enjoys imitating his animal noises when looking at his animal toys, animal pictures, or when we talk to him about the animals

- alternates between having 2 naps a day or 1 longer nap in middle of the day

- his new favourite toys are the trucks from Auntie Lis. Also loves playing with the spare phone in our bedroom

- enjoys clapping when happy and waving to people. He even claps when hearing people on tv shows clapping, and waving goodbye at the end of his tv shows.

- loves watching Play School, Sesame Street, The Wiggles, and his baby videos

Posted by Al at 1:51 PM

 

The Helium ballons we had for Jacks Birthday achieved a balanced buoyancy with the air late this afternoon...

Posted by Doug at 6:06 PM

Jack has taken to the crawling tunnel we gave him for his first birthday. He plays peekaboo with his parents and charges up and down like a little whirlwind.

In other birthday related news I have had to confiscate the Jar of left over lollies. Al was eating too many of them, and Jack was getting a sugar high through her breast milk. Two late nights was enough...

Posted by Doug at 11:09 PM

Jack’s great grandmother died early this morning.

My earliest memories of Nan were of a smoking battleaxe – broad shoulders, stern, strong disposition. I struggle to grasp at my feelings of the time, but I think I found her intriguing. As I grew I was aware of her coming into and out of our lives at various times, and I remember staying with her for a period of time. I remember she paid me attention.

As I got a little older I became aware of tension between my Nan and my Dad, and realised that our visits were in fact relatively infrequent and short. Nan still paid attention to me, and I enjoyed the visits none the less.

I am not sure at what age it was (I would have been at least 12), but I distinctly remember an argument between Dad and Nan during one of those visits to her Cobram flat. My Dad was angry at Nan for only paying attention to me, and not my three younger sisters. The visit ended much quicker than usual, and in the car ride home I realised that he had spoken the truth. It had not occurred to me before. It just wasn’t the way a Grandmother was meant to act.

My Nan was not a particularly nice person. She was lazy, selfish, complained a lot, acted old beyond her years, and was manipulative and unpleasant. Even towards the end, in her half lucid moments, she still threw barbed comments.

It might seem inappropriate for me to speak so of the dead, but Nan did in fact teach me some very important life lessons.

Nan taught me that old age was more about attitude than years. I remember her in her late 50’s as being a very old woman who complained a lot about how life treated her. It was in stark contrast to family friends who at 70+, were still travelling around Australia towing a caravan, loving life. It is in stark contrast to my own parents, who are now older than the Nan of my early memories.

Nan made me realise that family was not perfect, and could not be assumed to act or behaviour a certain way just because they were related. I don’t believe Nan ever knew what I saw in her, or in fact, how she might have been perceived by others. I don’t know how much of Nan was herself, or the product of her experiences, but I never really judged her, or confronted her on it. I just accepted it.

Nan made me realise the relationship between Parent and Child is strong, but by no means a given. It requires work from both sides. This lesson affects how I interact with my own parents, and how I interact with my own son. I am also thankful Jack has two sets of really good Grandparents, who love him, and have his best interests at heart.

Al only met her on a couple of occasions over the 14 plus years we have been together. Nan showed little interest in her, and was in fact rude on one of those rare occasions. Jack never got to meet her. I will tell Jack that his Great Grandmother was a strong woman who let old age get to her too early.

Posted by Doug at 2:54 PM

There were little chickens hatching out of eggs in the foyer of Jacks new Childcare centre this week. Jack looked on with interest. It is an indication of the efforts this new centre goes to, to find different activities and points of interest for the kids to enjoy. They also celebrated his birthday with a little cake for him (even if he did throw it away!) and a toy cake to play with. He really does seem to be settling in well at this new place, which is really heartening. We think he responds well to the structure and activities there, much alike what he does with me.

He also started his new music class this week. It is a 1-2 year old class, where all the other babies were walking and older, so he was a little clingy to me but interested in observing everything. He did have a little girl next to him take interest in him, and he offered her one of the musical instruments after interacting for a little while (he seems to offer things to people that he likes which is cute).

His first birthday this week has also meant he has had to have his 1 year injections (which once again he handled really well and with no noticeable side effects) and his 1 year check up. Thankfully he had put on more weight this time than the previous 2 months, although he is still at the bottom of the weight chart. The maternal health nurse did agree he seems a healthy active boy, so was not overly concerned with the low weight. We discussed options of getting him tested for allergies, which may take some of the guesswork out of trying new foods on him. Speaking of which, I just tried some honey on bread at lunchtime for him, only to have him rash up badly over his face. At the play centre on Friday (with little friends Damon, Dominic and Isabel) he tried a gingerbread man and surprised me by eating the entire thing! He certainly has developed a lot in recent weeks in his ability to swallow and chew foods, and more open to trying new things.

Jack enjoyed another little birthday celebration yesterday with Grandma and Grandpa Q and Uncle Mal over for afternoon tea. He loved playing with all the extra new toys he was showered with (including a little wagon, Thomas the Tank engine, and a car), and investigating his new books. He also received more new clothes. He is certainly a lucky little boy to be surrounded by family and friends who are happy to be a part of his life. I also had the opportunity yesterday for a bit of time out to get my hair done, and to go out for a girl's dinner with the mother's group (since one of the fathers is away on a 2 week business trip, so we felt it appropriate to provide some support to his wife by taking her out). Jack seems to be grateful for a quiet day at home today - sleeping for over 3 hours on his morning nap.

Posted by Al at 1:51 PM

I failed to achieve one of my Jack related goals tonight.

When Allison got home from work and came through the front door I immediately handed Jack over to her. Not because she asked, or because I had to be somewhere in a hurry, but because I'd had enough.

Jack had barely slept at Childcare, and was desperately tired. Once home he wouldn't last 5 minutes at play, eating, being carried, or watching one of his TV shows, before getting antsy and showing his tired signs. He kept rubbing his eyes furiously, pulling at his hair, and snuggling up to me. Half a minute after I picked him, moved him from my hip, lay down, or did anything that might suggest sleep, he would cry in protest, scratch, hit, push, twist, and call for his mum. Repeat the cycle 50 times, no matter what I tried. It even happened when I wasn't trying anything.

Same old story – he wanted his mum, and he fought well beyond over tiredness to wait for her to get home.

He was very forgiving. Seconds after I stopped whatever I was doing that he had interpreted as trying to get him to sleep, he was back to his happy smiling self. Until the next wave of exhaustion hit – between 5 and 300 seconds later.

Having nothing you can do to help a situation, being so utterly useless, is bloody unpleasant.

Posted by Doug at 10:32 PM

In stark contrast to yesterday, Jack was in a bright and very cheerful mood for all of today. You just can not take anything for granted.

The funeral went well, as far as such things can go well. We were up before 4am on Monday, showered, prepared, packed, and in the car by 5:20am. That was only 20 minutes late. I have to admit sheepishly that we can not blame Jack or the time it took to pack the car for our tardiness. Instead it was Al and I taking ages to find anything in our wardrobe suitable to wear to a funeral. We had a good clear run, Jack slept almost the entire way, and we arrived at my parents place just before 8am for an egg and bacon breakfast.

For the first time in quite a while my entire family were together – Mum, Dad, my three sisters and their partners, and the three children of those relationships. We also got to catch up with an Aunt, Uncle and Cousin who I haven't seen in over 25 odd years. It was a busy, crowded house for the morning, but everyone got along well, and I managed to get down to the shops to buy a shirt for the funeral. Jack also managed to pick up a huge pile of 1st birthday gifts from my family that I was barely able to fit into the car.

The funeral itself was nice. Dad spoke about his mum – a difficult task considering his relationship with her, and the fact he is a rather bluntly honest person. (Plus he is not normally any good speaking in front of people.) He conveyed why it was suitable to give her a Christian service, that he knew that she had moved on, that it was not always easy to find nice things to say about his mum, but that she had worked very hard in her life, raised two children as a single parent at a time when you were not given help in doing so, and that she had a very hard life, not always helped by some poor decision making. It was touchingly emotional, non judgmental, and appreciated by those who attended.

He also talked about the way my Nan passed – her unspoken decision to stop eating, her strength of will in following through, and the peaceful way she passed in the end. With so little control over her life, she had made this one final decision at the time she chose.

I myself looked around the small gathering and saw my Nan's children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren who attended. As Jack slept on his Mum's shoulder, I silently thanked my Nan, for without her in the chain of life, Jack would never have been born.

The tea and food afterwards turned into a pleasant family reunion. I got to catch up with a Great Aunt and Great Uncle I had not seen in over 30 years, amongst other members of that side of the family. The great Aunt looked a lot like her sister, which was nice. There had been some conflict and angst around my Nan and members of the family, but I felt the funeral brought closure on that for many of the people.

All things considered, it all went very well.

We waited afterwards back at my Parent's place as the family all headed off home in different directions, and when Jack finally looked tired, packed him in the car and headed off home ourselves. We walked in the door at 8pm exhausted.

Posted by Doug at 9:54 PM

Finally up to date…

Over the last couple days I have made more than 60 posts to this blog, finally bring it all up to date.

I only told Al that I had kept a diary during her pregnancy a little while after Jack was born. As I had hoped, she started to regularly contribute herself. She also put together a text document with email and her personal notes covering the earlier time. I have finally taken these, formatted and cleaned them up, and posted them here in the blog. You can now find new entries for Al from between December 2004 and October 2005 (they are all in purple). I have also added a dozen odd images over those same months.

I also need to point out that sometimes Al’s Blog entries can take weeks to appear here. Al doesn’t have a great deal of free time, and many of her entires are thrown together in a rush before Jack next demands her attention. They are sometimes just brain dumps, rarely proof read, and occasionally made up of a single sentence that can go for 15 lines and 27 commas. She also frequently skips the words “I”, “he” and “the”. Given this, there can be a delay until I find some spare time to insert full stops and paragraphs.

As of right now this blog covers 22 months of our lives, shows 99 small images, and contains 494 posts.

Posted by Doug at 10:09 PM

The delightfully happy mood was back on Sunday; Monday was relatively cheerful, and today - extra antsy and clingy. Every time we think we might be starting to grasp at a pattern, it slips through our fingers under some new regime of moods. At the moment it appears random.

The overnight feeding finally got to Al. She slept in the nursery the last couple nights with Jack, working on putting him back to sleep instead of feeding him. He basically didn’t feed the first night, and only feed once the second night.

Maybe Al was feeding him too quickly in the past; maybe he is less thirsty in the cooler nursery, maybe he is happier snuggled up closer to his mum in the single bed; maybe Al responds quicker to his cries because he is extra close? Maybe it is a mix of those, or none, or the last two days have just been a random anomaly.

I don’t know. Whatever the situation, Jack is probably in control of some aspect of it. His new childcare centre fed him a mash of potato, pumpkin, carrots, peas and chicken on Monday. He ate the full serve. He wouldn’t eat that at home.

The other day Al fed Jack. I end up washing a bib, his top, his pants, his face, his hair, the kitchen floor, and the high chair. I fed Jack the next day. I ended up washing the spoon.

It has been a week of contrasts.

The other day while feeding Jack he tried his best to communicate a concept to me. Not a word, or a wish, but something more complex. He turned in his high chair, gestured behind him towards a photo from our wedding, and then concentrated on a string of baby talk. He stopped and looked at me, his face willing me to respond in the way he wanted. Seeing my uncertainty he repeated the same sequence of noises, then paused to look at me again. He tried one more time, slightly more forcefully in voice, before he gave up and moved on. I never thought babies would be so complex.

Posted by Doug at 11:10 PM

Last night Jack fed three times. It was understandable - he had a rough cough overnight, so Al fed him if he was insistent. He was also in bed for over 13 hours – too long to go without a feed.

Jack was slightly congested today, extra antsy and very clingy. He wore his mum down a bit.

He enjoyed his swimming again today though – it has been a real turn around. Al saw him do something he has never really done before. He reached out for one of his favourite instructors in the pool. She remarked that was strange as she took him from Al. Jack gave the instructor a cuddle, and then turned and reached back for Al.

For a couple nights we have been hearing a semi regular short and loud beep. It was one of those echoing noises that you can’t quite pin point the source of. I replaced the upstairs smoke alarm battery (even though I had only recently done so), but that wasn’t it. Chatting to Al I suddenly heard the noise directly above me - it was a second smoke alarm that I had never noticed before. I no longer had a spare battery, so I disconnected it from the mains and removed the battery until I could buy a replacement one. It beeped again. I had to move it to the garage.

Our nappy service has just introduced new procedures. We are no longer allowed to use nappy bags, or to close the nappy up upon itself. We are to put them loose in a clear plastic bag that holds around 20 nappies. When that is full we tie off the bag and put it in the provided bin. We can’t see how we can make that work – up to 20 open smelly nappies in an open plastic bag, sitting on the ground next to each change table?

Our rubbish bin isn’t big enough to handle the extra load of Jack’s nappies, so I looked into getting an additional bin. It turns out it will actually be much cheaper than what we are currently paying, except there were eligibility conditions. I contemplated what they might be, thought up some plausible reasons, and called the council. The eligibility condition turned out to be accepting the fee.

Posted by Doug at 10:45 PM

It has been an extra busy time at work for me of late. Combined with busyness at home and Jack still feeding 2-3 times a night, and I have been left feeling constantly exhausted. Often when people asked how Jack or I was, the first thing I'd mention was how tired I was, or that he is still feeding so much at night. I decided that there was never going to be a good time to tackle the problem, so now was as good as any.

(I had partly been waiting until he had settled into the new day routine before changing his nighttime one, plus I didn’t want to slow down his breastfeeding while I was still a little concerned by his low weight gain.)

For the past week I have been feeding him as much food as I can during the day, including right up to just before he goes to bed. When he wakes in the cot looking to sleep on me, I have been sleeping in the nursery with him, and then transferring him back to his cot more.

When he has looked for a feed I have got up and walked around with him first. This has sometimes made him forget about the feed. It might also help that the nursery is a little cooler overnight, so he is less thirsty. I haven’t been successful every night, but those simple steps mean he now often only feeds once overnight. I am feeling hopeful of breaking the pattern.

It has been hard to determine what has caused him to feed so much in recent months - whether it has been habit, hunger, looking for comfort, or maybe dehydration from the central heating. He had been down to one feed a night for months – even going 2 short weeks with no feeds, before getting croup and changing his routine. Considering this pattern all started shortly after my return to work, it has certainly contributed to how tired I have felt, and made it harder to cope with the extra busyness.

Now that we have seen such an improvement after 1 week of effort, it makes me wonder why I didn't do this earlier. It has been hard though - physically getting up out of bed and walking around can wake me up more than just breastfeeding. I have also had to sit with him downstairs in front of the TV a couple nights to distract him from crying and wanting a feed, and last night he was awake from 1-3am!

If we get past this, next is his sleeping pattern.

Posted by Al at 6:50 PM

Jack has been eating more recently. Whether this is due to breastfeeding less over night or some other reason, it is hard to know. He appears to have had a growth spurt recently, and looks to be taller and heavier. Unfortunately he has also been extra rashy of late.

He has had persistent eczema on his forehead and sometimes cheeks, as well as red rash marks that appear around his mouth and chin soon after eating. In my enthusiasm with his extra appetite and willingness to try new foods, I have been giving him multiple food options at every meal. Sometimes I have introduced a couple new foods at a time, which has made it harder to identify what is causing the rashes.

We decided to get him allergy tested to take out some of the guesswork. The hard thing is just finding the time to get to the Doctors for the referral – but hopefully we will manage that in the next week or so.

We bought Jack his first set of crayons last weekend. We eagerly anticipated his response, and he happily picked them up and seemed to know what to do with them straight away. He took to drawing dots, scribbles and lines with gusto. We wonder whether he has already had his first experience of this at childcare, or whether it came from watching his videos or other kids draw.

We also bought Jack more of his favourite DVDs last weekend (for the 1+ age group). One of them was an Animal DVD. It started off with a cheery rendition of 'Old McDonald', accompanied by scenes of each farm animal. Jack was so excited by it - pointing at the screen and chatting excitedly with his eyes all lit up. It was wonderful to watch. He used to tune out and look bored at real life animal scenes, but something has changed for him. Whether it relates to him just getting older, going to the zoo or parks as we have been, or how he has been getting more familiar with animal noises and pictures, I don’t know.

Posted by Al at 7:07 PM