There are two main goals with our school investigations for Jack. The first is to take into account his personality and social awkwardness, and to try and make the transition to school and his early experiences as positive as possible. The second is to have him graduate from High School with a solid education, career options that he is excited by, and the confidence to make a go of it.

With the constraints of affordability, we have three options.

. Send him to a Public Primary and High School

. Send him to a Tier 3 Private Primary and High School

. Send him to a Public Primary and a Tier 2 Private High School

The public schools in our immediate area are ok – but nothing special. In many ways it will be up to Jack to make the most of his own opportunities in them, and it could be a little hit and miss on how he goes socially and how motivating his teachers are.

There are half a dozen Tier 3 Private schools within 25 minutes drive – all of which have religious affiliations. While we are not averse to the mixing of religion and education, some schools could be discounted by how much it impacted on their syllabus – particularly around sciences. While generally the facilities were better, and there was more of a focus on a student’s role and position within society, in the end their year 12 results were not especially higher than the average public school.

On the other hand the Tier 2 Private School we have decided to focus on does have noteworthy better results, and they are far more focused on each student being the best that they can be. Each student is monitored a lot more, their facilities are much better, the class sizes smaller, and the curriculum has a larger range of subjects available.

So option three is what we have decided to work towards.

Posted by Doug at 5:46 PM

Al is continuing her research into local Public Schools, and finding an unexpectedly large range within a reasonable distance. A number of these have contemporary, non standard syllabus - the type we had assumed would only be available through private schools.

Some of the schools are quite interesting, and I don’t mind the approaches and philosophies they have. They talk about developing “lively, enquiring minds with powers of sound judgment”, and want to facilitate “mastery” and “excellence” in numeracy and literacy. This concept – of striving for each child to achieve their very best, is not echoed so loudly by the more standard state schools near us.

Jack’s childcare centre is actually rather progressive in the same way – and it wouldn’t be a big step for him to move into such a school. It did however take him more than a year to be really engaged by the approach.

The public primary school we are thinking of using – and which is our current bench mark, seems well suited to his personality. The long transition time should give Jack plenty of chances to get used to the location and what will be involved. The prep classes only have around 12 to 15 children in each; about the number he is used to now. While subsequent classes are much larger, generally from grade one through six he will have the same class mates. That gives him consistency and means he won’t be forced to develop new friendships every year, something he would likely find difficult. Most of the teachers have been at the school for many years, there is a focus on the individual that is absent in some of the bigger schools, and their results are reasonable. Overall however, the education probably wouldn’t be as encompassing as in one of these more modern schools.

And therein lies the problem.

One school is a safer choice – more likely suiting his personality, and hopefully meaning he gets through primary school reasonably happy. The other type of school is more risky – it will likely help develop him more as a person and educationally, but it could also backfire, and leave him floundering, out of his comfort level and unhappy.

Al still needs to contact some of these more recent options – to find out if they accept enrolments from out of zone, and then will need to visit them to get a feel for the places. This has not worked out as clear cut and easy as we had hoped.

I wonder how many other parents go to this length to pick out a primary school for their children...

Posted by Doug at 9:57 PM

It has been an interesting week.

Grace has a bit of a barking cough and the sniffles. Unlike Jack at that age however, it seems to have just made her a little calmer. She looks for a little extra comfort, but seems more patient, less prone to full on screaming, and has been sleeping better and for longer.

She has been talking lots this week, and has managed to roll herself from her tummy to her back a couple of times. (Although hasn’t worked out how she did it.) She is giving big (and slightly goofy) smiles whenever she sees us, although her expression then quickly returns to the standard half frown.

Jack has been getting over his cold, but has been having lots and lots of meltdowns. We expect he must be going through a growth spurt. It has been a shock to us – over time the number of tantrums he throws has slowly been decreasing. To suddenly go back to 4, 5 or 6 full on, out of control tantrums in a day has left us floundering.

It is certainly a lot harder dealing with Jack at his worst when you are trying to juggle the care of a reasonably demanding 3 month old. Even given that – there have been a few too many very bad parenting moments, where we have really regretted our reactions and actions afterwards. We have come down on him too hard, not been patient enough, snapped to quickly and in too high extremes.

At one point, while battling with Jack to get him to eat, he tellingly said “I love Grace, I really do”. He then pointedly looked at both of us and said no more.

Posted by Doug at 11:22 PM

I’m watching Jack walking down the street with his Grandma Q - on the way to the shops. He has the hood of his Jacket pulled up, and his hands in his pocket. You can see his head turn up towards his Grandma as he chats.

After a horror couple weeks of teary tantrums and angst behaviour, Jack has been a delight the last few days. I hope it lasts!

The other week he came home from childcare saying that he wasn’t going to pick his nose any more. While he hasn’t stopped it fully, he’s cut back about 90%. Just like that.

Earlier this week he came home from childcare saying that he wasn’t going to lick all around his lips any more. (A habit he started immediately after the nose picking stopped.) I told him that was a good thing, and asked him why he had decided that. (I assumed in both instances kids or carers must have been pointing it out at childcare.)

He tapped the side of his head, and said “I just thinked it by myself, in my brain, where is in here.”

Posted by Doug at 4:40 PM

I watched a documentary tonight on the background to the sub-prime mortgage disaster, followed by another documentary on the Rwandan Genocide, and then finished off reading about a young woman with a serious medical condition who cannot afford treatment, and whose husband is looking for a divorce in part due to the pressures this has placed on their family.

It is a reminder about how fragile the world is that we find ourselves.

Grace continues to relax a little more each day, and her level of patience is slowly increasing. She is still prone to getting so furious that her whole body shakes in utter rage, but at least the frequency has really dropped away.

Jack has been running a temperature on and off the last 24 hours – enough that it is affecting him. We kept him home from swimming and childcare today, the first time we have had to do that in a while now. I noticed tonight when I looked in on him sleeping that he was drenched in sweat. I moved his doona aside and just left a blanket on him, but in a little while he will be too cold again. The hot / cold / hot / cold cycle has been making it hard for him to get a good sleep (and as a consequence, means we are not getting a great sleep either.)

Al has continued visiting primary schools, a process that has seen the school we had set as a benchmark two weeks ago be relegated to option C, and likely end up as D or E. I think she plans on visiting two more schools before finally sitting down and making a decision. The current option A and B would probably be less suited to Jack’s personality, but they are overflowing with programs and options that Al has been quite focused on, and seem very proactive towards ensuring individual students are involved and happy in the environment, and that bullying is actively identified and addressed. I don't think either of us could have imagined that there would be so much choice available to us.

Posted by Doug at 11:01 PM

Grace is not really being rewarded for her growing patience. The more patient she is, the longer she has to wait to get what she wants. I fear it won’t take her too long to work out that it is better to cry sooner rather than later.

Posted by Doug at 8:38 AM