Had a busy but good day. Started off with another visit to the Botanical Gardens to further test out some of the new camera gear. Jack lasted about an hour before getting antsy. I then went shopping, did three loads of washing, cleaned up the house with Al, gave the lawns a much-needed mow, and attacked the jungle out the back with a whipper snipper. We then had a visit from a friend of Al’s who came along with her boyfriend. As a reminder of how small the world it is, it turned out he knew one of my friends from High School.

Jack eyes off a Dusky Moorhen.

and then a leaf shown to him by his mum.

Posted by Doug at 9:03 PM

Jack has a cough again. I was woken up at around 2am this morning by it. He removed his dummy (basically while still asleep), had a coughing fit, then put his dummy back in again. A couple minutes later he would repeat. After more than 30 minutes of that I had to leave and spend the rest of the night in the guestroom.

Today Jack has his morning nappy explosion earlier than usual – just as we all woke up. The end casualty list numbered 10 minutes, my top, Al’s top, Al’s Pyjama’s, Jacks complete outfit, 2 nappies, and half a packet of wipes. What a way to start your Sunday.

Posted by Doug at 8:50 AM

Jack’s cough didn’t stick. It is still there on and off, but hasn’t particularly bothered him. Something is though - he has had a moderate fever for the last day and a half. While he has had a couple mild fevers that have broken quickly, this is the first one that has stayed around long enough for us to break out the books.

The books indicate the fever is in the moderate range, that his symptoms are all common and to be expected, and that his responses to the fever are in the good category (as apposed to the “bad, go check with the doctor” one). He has been pretty cheerful, in a listless sort of way, and while more clingy, irritable and fussy than usual, has been relatively quick and easy to settle. He just doesn’t look 100% happy.

The primary impact is that he has been sleeping – lots. While this in itself isn’t an impact, the fact he insistently demands his mum stay very close at all times has been.

While this might be just another sickness picked up at one of his many social activities, it could also relate to teething. His gums are bumpy and you can clearly see individual teeth just below the surface. We shall see.

Posted by Doug at 10:57 PM

Jacks fever seemed to break mid morning. He has continued to be antsy and clingy, but is hopefully on the mend.

I on the other hand was hit by a horrendous sinus headache moments after the sun came up. I tried various types of drugs, had multiple showers, and slept for several hours, but couldn't shake it. Couldn't even dint it. Didn't get into work, and only managed to cover a fraction of my day from home. Moments after the sun went down it disappeared. Blah.

You always think about what you can give your child. Some days I think about what I hope I don't give. I hope Jack doesn't get my allergies. I hope Jack doesn't get my migraines.

Posted by Doug at 9:10 PM

Jack reached the 11-month milestone today. Once again this milestone is overshadowed by illness. Thankfully he seems to be over the worst of it, although he is still crying and whinging more quickly than usual. He also hasn't yet recovered his appetite for food and is constantly breastfeeding instead. His health has given him (and I) a reprieve from the new childcare centre for this week, and curtailed our activities over past few days.

Jack's latest developments

- Actively stands up against anything that will stay still long enough - walls, cupboards, my legs, couches - you name it. He is also very speedy at walking around holding onto the couches or other furniture, often only lightly holding on. He can walk the entire way around all his playroom couches including around corners without stopping. He can push items like the highchair, kitchen chairs and stools along the kitchen tiles from standing and kneeling positions.

- Keeps himself entertained by looking at books or going through his learning picture cards. He turns the pages over ‘chatting' away to himself with plenty of inflection in his voice, as if he is reading aloud - very cute!

- He can understand simple instructions like 'arms up' (to get him out of the car seat or his high chair), ‘wave’ (enthusiastically waves when he chooses to), and 'turn the page' (when reading him books and he obligingly turns the page (or several clumped together)). He also recognises his name and being told 'no', but chooses whether to acknowledge these, or just ignore them and continue travelling towards or playing with things he shouldn't.

- He has overcome his fear of the 'floating mat' at swimming classes. He now cheekily grins as he crawls along it. He stops to tap on it and look at the other babies. This is a big change after months of crying each time he did the activity.

Posted by Al at 4:54 PM

Jack is now 11 months old

My day started at 3:20am this morning. I woke up to Jack seemingly imitating my snoring and Al laughing. Jack continued interacting with me through to 4:45am when my alarm went off. Barely four hours of sleep – the day wasn’t looking good.

Work turned out to be especially productive, and I walked in the front door this afternoon feeling organised and on top of things. Jack was down in his cot, and the household was quiet and calm. He had another clingy and antsy day, but seemed to be on the mend.

Then he woke up.

Anything, any tiny little thing, would set him off in an anguished wail. A couple hours of that and all feelings of being on top of things had gone. This sort of behaviour is rare – and we assume he is either teething or has an earache or something else noteworthily uncomfortable for him.

Medicine might help in these situations – but Jack has been a total rascal in taking any. Be it oral syringe, on a spoon, or mixed in with his food, he has a sixth sense of what we are trying to do and clamps his mouth shut, throws his head away, flails his arms about, and projectile spits out anything that gets to his mouth.

He has a cough and a blocked nose, which is obviously making life more uncomfortable for him. After several hours of his worst tonight we decided to force a dose of Dimetapp on him. He has taken Dimetapp via oral syringe before ok. We then made the mistake of trying to give him a dose of Baby Panadol using the same method. He disliked the taste immensely, spat it all out, and then steadfastly refused to take anything else via that method.

Tonight, pairing up, we managed to get in a quick surprise attack and squirted a full dose into his mouth. He sprayed a small amount out (getting his mum right in the eye), but then remembered that he didn’t mind the taste of this one after all, and swallowed the rest. I hope it helps him get a better night rest. Lesson learnt though – we need to be more forceful.

Something else new today – we purchased our first baby formula. (Soy based, since we are concerned about his reactions so far to dairy.) Al just isn’t getting enough opportunities to express to cover three days in Childcare, and it can become a source of stress for all concerned. I’m sure she’ll still be breast-feeding at 12 months, as she wanted to, but this hopefully will make life a little easier on us all. I mixed up the first bottle, and Jack took about 30mls with some interest before deciding he had had enough. (Considering he is really off his food the last few days, that was an ok start.) We will have to see how it pans out over the next week or so.

Another new thing. Tonight while I was busy in the kitchen Jack said “Dad Dad Dad” to me. I didn’t look up at him, so he yelled “DAD” to get my attention. That’s the first time he has ever done something like that. I imagine it will stay cute for 1 or 2 more times, then will probably be a source of annoyance for the next 18 years.

Last of all - I mentioned Jack imitating my snoring at the start of this post. Well, tonight for the third time Jack has imitated an animal noise that I was making. When I do an Elephant trumpet, with accompanying arm lift like a trunk, Jack repeats it back to me with a big grin, often with the same arm movement. He does a good job of it. So after all his difficult behaviour, that was pretty cool.

Posted by Doug at 9:26 PM

Awake at 3:20am again this morning. This time it was a less successful dose of Dimetapp and 15 minutes in the bathroom with the shower running hot water. Thankfully Jack then went back to sleep for a couple solid hours, but I have that pressing ache around my head from not having had enough sleep.

We suspect Jack is going through teething, has a cold and a cough, and is having a growth spurt. Think about that.

Al looks like she has been hit by a bus this morning. It doesn't look like she will get to work, and it doesn't look like Jack will get to childcare. She is just having a shower -and hoping she feels better afterwards.

Posted by Doug at 7:47 AM

During breakfast Jack was going through his picture cards. He lifted up the Elephant card and made the Elephant noise. I think this is the first time he has made an unprompted association between a static image and a noise.

It was a very bad day for it, but Al sent off an email saying she would not be in the Office today. Considering Jack has been very hard work for almost a week now, she has been managing very well. She is however frazzled and on edge today.

I've had a theory on this that seems to play out reliably. When Al has got to the point of having to vent she remains really good with Jack, but picks, snipes, and lashes out at me. Be that for good or contrived reason, it doesn't matter. As I have said before I have nothing to complain about with regards Al - she is a great wife and mother. I should just dutifully take this on the chin, but I tend not to. That is why it doesn't matter if it starts out as a contrived complaint - I will soon do or say something in response that gives Al something real to vent over.

Posted by Doug at 9:23 AM

Jack is down for a morning nap, and the house is peaceful again. I'm working in my study, and Al is working in hers. Our cleaners are due (in fact, overdue) today, which will probably wake Jack up and throw the house back into chaos. We realised just before that this period has been the longest we have had with Jack being antsy. While we have had a couple crying sessions and his croup etc, most only lasted a few hours, or at most a couple days. This has been carrying on for a week. No wonder we are all frayed around the edges.

At least one of Jack's lower teeth is through the gum, but hasn't broken the skin as yet. There are at least three other teeth close to the surface on his bottom gum, and two or four on the top one.

Posted by Doug at 10:05 AM

Jack had another nap in the afternoon, and allowed his parents to recharge their batteries and get back on top of things. He was still hard work, still breaking into anguished wails, still not eating much, but there seemed to be a slight improvement.

This evening he was on the kitchen floor opening and closing doors and cupboards under the watchful eye of his mum. He gave a sudden heave and slammed the pots draw closed on his hand.

Que shocked face, horribly anguished cries, and huge tears. He had caught the tip of a finger below the nail – drew blood, and I suspect will have caused a nasty bruise. It would have to of hurt. He cried for several minutes until silenced by a breast. By the time he finished his meal he seemed to have forgotten his troubles. He was moving his hand and fingers around ok, so I think he’ll be fine.

Two things come to mind while I sit here writing this. The first was how I dropped everything and went running when I heard his first cry. He has been crying regularly all week, but this one I knew was real hurt. Thankfully we haven’t had to hear that one too often. The second is how this sort of thing is going to happen time and time again as Jack grows, learns, experiments, pushes boundaries, or just plain does stupid things. It is going to be a tough part of parenthood. It seems a tough part of being a baby.

Posted by Doug at 11:43 PM

We had planned to go to my parents place this long weekend. It was the end of the Duck Season, and historically I head out with my Dad for our last hunt together. Al and I hummed and hared over whether Jack was right to travel or not. He was obviously on the mend, but was still hard work. He decided for us by being his antsy best on Friday morning, so was left at home with his mum.

I got out of Melbourne early afternoon, beating the long weekend traffic. While my departure was timed well, my arrival wasn’t. Dad was building a new back fence with a neighbour, and I turned up early enough to be drafted into helping carry away the old fence and dig away the old garden beds. It was probably the most physical work I’ve done in some years, and was a reminder of how unfit I am getting. I assume Jack will want a fit and active Dad – so I am going to have to do something it.

I had a quiet hunt with Dad on Saturday morning, but really enjoyed a magical sunrise on our favourite lake. Saturday afternoon I was roped in to helping get the new fence posts concreted, which was at least easier work. I got a surprised SMS from Al that evening asking what was for Tea – Jack had been better, so she drove up with him by herself. Jack was shell shocked to find himself at his Grandparent’s place (having slept the entire way), but adjusted quickly enough. They stayed for Saturday night, much to my parent’s pleasure, and then headed back on Sunday morning in time for another 1st birthday party.

I had a particularly good hunt with Dad on Sunday morning, although it had started extra early. Dad had heard Jack talking (to himself apparently, as both his parents were sleeping either side of him). He got up and turned on the heaters in the Kitchen and Lounge room for us, and stopped at the door of our room to let us know. Al half heard the conversation and woke me up to say Dad was calling for me. I got up in the dark and got dressed, then wandered out into the Kitchen to have breakfast. I was wondering where Dad was when I checked my watch – 4:30am, an hour before we were scheduled to get up! I spent the hour reading a computer magazine. After the hunt I had lunch with my parents and then returned to Melbourne.

Today was a recuperation day. We all seem to have come down with a cold though, which has put a dampener on things. Jack does however seem a lot better. Aside (thankfully) being a shorter week, we should be back on our normal schedule.

Posted by Doug at 9:57 PM

I dislike the term IT Consultant – it has too many negative connotations. Having been one for the last nine years, I know that view is well deserved.

I find consulting a great concept that is rarely applied correctly. I say that often.

At 11pm tonight I sent off a reply to a work email. The distribution had grown over the day to a Regional Manager, two State Managers, two Practise Managers, and the Manager of said Practise Managers. My reply was a page long – and considering the audience, was blunt but carefully worded.

If I weren’t in Consulting it would have said, “I clearly know what I am talking about. You are clearly talking crap.”

It was about a critical resourcing issue. It was something that had been apparent for many weeks, but that had been left unaddressed. I wasn’t popular when I rejected the proposed (and inappropriate) solution.

I have enough stories to fill a book – or a very active blog.

Posted by Doug at 12:26 AM

I need to buy some new shoes and work clothes this morning. Al was toying with the idea of coming along with Jack for an outing.

I just indicated I would be leaving in 10 minutes and asked if they were coming. Jack is seesawing on the cusp of having a morning nap, and Al indicated she would decide in 10 minutes.

She missed the point.

I said I would be leaving in 10 minutes. That meant if they were to come along they better start getting ready now. If they decided to come along in 10 minutes time it will take me more like 20 minutes before I will get out the door – if I am lucky.

I hear a loud and happy Jack talking. I guess they are coming along.

Posted by Doug at 9:55 AM

Jack's first tooth has come through in past couple weeks - a milestone often talked about and much anticipated amongst parents. Unfortunately there has been a downside for me - Jack taking to nasty little nips at the end of each breastfeed, accompanied with a cheeky grin. A painful habit I am actively trying to discourage!

Jack has had 2 play centre visits in the past couple days. Met with my friends and their kids again - all agreed we would do this ongoing as a monthly activity. It is great to get the opportunity too regularly catch-up. Jack was angelic during this visit, happily exploring cubby houses, throwing little balls in and out of structures, and riding on bikes. Yesterday we went to another centre in Geelong for my Dad's birthday. The location was picked to keep all the grandkids (and grand-dad) entertained. Jack had his first ride down a big slide - on my knees. I think it might have been scarier for me - in ensuring I had a tight hold and noting how fast we whizzed down! He also enjoyed playing inside tunnels, going down the little kid slide, and playing with giant beads and shapes.

It is now school holidays, so for the next 2 weeks Jack and I get a break from his regular activities.

Jack's current favourite activity at home is gripping his soft blue ball and throwing it, then chasing it down to repeat the process over and over again. He lifts it above his head and throws it down so that it bounces. Occasionally there are directional problems, and it drops behind him rather than in front.

He is also enjoying filling his foam box with his toys, stacking objects on the couches and on his foam box, and today even trying to balance some foam numbers on my head! He has started repeating some animal noises also - elephant (loud 'ooohhhh' type noise accompanied with arm waving like an elephant's truck), lion's roar ('oar') and monkey's (we say 'ooo ooo ahh ahh ahh' and he repeats the 'aahs'). We are enjoying watching him starting to imitate sounds and gestures.

Today's date has me reminiscing...it is exactly 12 months since I started my maternity leave. I remember at the time I was desperately hoping Jack wouldn't arrive for at least 1 – 2 weeks (ended up being nearly 3) so that I would have some time to relax, and get through the list of last-minute (non-critical) things to do. I was focusing a lot of my thoughts at the time on the coming birth, and wondering how our life was going to change, how we would manage and cope.

A year down the track our life certainly has changed more than we could have imagined. Everyone tells you beforehand it is tiring and a lot of work, but you just can't fully imagine exactly how much until it happens. On the plus side, while we know we aren't perfect parents, we do feel like we are managing well overall. Jack has certainly brought a lot of joy into our life, and changed our outlook, priorities and lifestyle.

Here we are now with an active 11 month old, babbling to himself and us, walking around the furniture and keeping us on our toes. We have survived the return to work for me, and the start of childcare for Jack. I have embraced the mum's lifestyle, catching up with other parents of young kids, attending kids activities, and having one-on-one playtime with Jack at home. I don't think I have ever been so busy in my life, or as happy.

Posted by Al at 2:56 PM

I got out the door this morning only 15 minutes later than planned.

Normally when I shop I go to one or two outlets, get what I planned, then leave. Invariably with Al and Jack in tow more shops were added to the list. Then Jack fell asleep in his pram, so we had an early lunch in the food court. Jack was still asleep, so we had cake and caffeine. The 1 hour shopping trip turned into 2 hours and 30 minutes - but I got what I came for, and we had a nice relaxed meal and morning.

Taken tonight. If you look closely at his grubby face you can see his first tooth - kind of.

We are having more and more trouble with Jack refusing food and formula. Anything solid (aside from chips and chicken) that we hand to Jack at meal times is looked at with distain, then tossed over the side of his highchair and onto the ground. He doesn't stop to check the texture, smell or taste - it is just instantly thrown.

Tonight Al had asked me to give him a play session downstairs since he wasn't quite ready for Bed. I was having a cup of tea and biscuit, and noticed Jack showing some interest in it. I gave Jack the last half of the biscuit, but he immediately threw it onto the ground. This was a rather disappointing waste - it was a nice biscuit, and the last from the packet! I continued to have my cup of tea, and after a minute, Jack picked up the biscuit again and gave it a good sucking on for several minutes. (Note the crumbs on his face above...)

The matting in his play area is kept fairly clean, so I wasn't too concerned that he was eating food off it. (The ground under the highchair would be a different matter!) We might have to start using this trick in future - giving Jack food in a location that he can toss and throw it around in, then pick it up and try to eat it at his own leisure. Anything is worth a try.

I had a volume of phone calls and emails in response to my Thursday late night work email.

The issue came down to another area of the company wanting to use a team member of mine. When I say wanting to use – they had already allocated them to a project and incorporated them into their plans. They had not actually asked, and when I pointed out that I could not release the team member, panic settled in. They offered up a replacement that I rejected, and they then accused me of allowing a personality conflict to negatively impact on a critical company resourcing issue.

I think that was the worst thing I have ever been accused of in the decade plus I have been working, and I was rather upset by it. I responded in two parts. The first pointed out correspondence up to 18 months old where I had previously raised the unsuitability of their suggested replacement, and again listed why. Personality had nothing to do with it – in fact I don’t mind the person. The second part indicated I thought I would have garnered more respect than that.

I received apologies and assurances I had people’s respect. The negative comment was a throw away line meant to prompt another round of combat on an internal political issue. The issue was basically about resourcing across states, who controls it, and who is responsible for improving its effectiveness. It wasn’t a comment however that I could simply ignore. I guess now management will think twice about using me when they are looking for a suitable underling to throw upon and stoke an internal political fire.

Posted by Doug at 10:54 PM

I've noticed lately that Jack waves at his TV show's when they say "Bye Bye" at the end. He has surprised us by how quickly he picks up the appropriate actions and responses to a given situation. We have not been giving him enough credit for what he understands. He stopped biting our noses once we started pulling away from him and making pained noises. He stopped the habbit of biting his mum at the end of each breast feed soon after he started it. It was his mums involuntary exclamations and subsequent stern no’s that changed that behaviour quickly.

Yesterday afternoon while distracting Jack during a nappy change, I taught him how to clap. It took all of 2 minutes. Since then, any time he is excited or happy, he claps. He does a good job of it too - making a clearly audible noise that easily surpasses his mum's silent opera clap. I wonder at what else I should be teaching him.

And then there were two. Jack has another teething fever, drool and cough, and has been extra antsy and tired again. His second bottom tooth is through, and I guess more are on the way. A couple weeks ago we were a touch worried that he still had no teeth. Now we think a gummy smile was just fine...

We had another family outing this morning, visiting Jells Park. Above is a Photo I took of a Common Bronzewing Pigeon - one of the many birds we spotted on the 3km walk around the Park's lake. We stopped and had breakfast at the Jells Tea House while Jack slept on our shoulder.

Posted by Doug at 8:26 PM

He seems particularly happy to be heading off to the shops today. Like with trips in the car, Jack seems particularly patient in his pram - as long as it is moving.

Posted by Doug at 8:43 PM

Jack has had 2 half days at the new Childcare Centre for a couple weeks now. This is leading up to starting 2 full days from next week, when I increase my office hours.

For the first 3 days Jack cried furiously each time I left, and yesterday (when he was tired and not feeling well) he seemed to be almost shaking in my arms. This of course leaves me feeling horrible and worrying if and when he will go there happily.

Today he was fresh from a 2-hour nap, and to my surprise he was instantly engaged in some rubbery toy insects and only gave one small sound of protest before being entranced. I said 'bye bye' as I always do, and he didn't even look up. (Whether this caused tears after I left and he suddenly realised could be another story.) It made me feel much happier and relieved to see him fascinated and not worrying about being left. I had considered putting him in for full days this week, but I decided to enjoy spending my last week of 6 days with him. He also is still not 100% - being extra clingy, cuddly and sleepy. Tooth number 2 came through last week and we are waiting to see if any more are about to eventuate.

While he was in Childcare I took the opportunity to catch up with a couple of friends for lunches, did some shopping and running around, and of course got some uninterrupted work done. This has helped provide some relaxation and even a little bit of a 'holiday' from a stressful time at work and my general busyness.

We celebrated another 2 first birthday parties this past weekend (Liana and Kiara from mother's group). It has been really special to see not only your own baby develop, but those of the mother's group, and it is nice to all share in this milestone around the same time. Doug's mum also came down to stay Saturday night. I went to see Swan Lake on Ice with her on Sunday (her 60th present from us) while Doug minded Jack. The show was beautiful - performed in one of Melbourne's beautiful old theatres with great costuming, sets and atmosphere, and we both really enjoyed. Doug drove in to pick us up and to take his mum to Spencer Street station for her trip home. We were interested to see the new developments there, but were left feeling disappointed with the outcome. It did give Jack further opportunity to see trains (although he didn't seem to really take them in).

With the break in normal activities, we also took the opportunity for an enjoyable family outing to Jell's Park. Yesterday at library story time a Firelady came to read fire stories to the kids, and show them her outfit. Unfortunately the fire truck was out on a job, but she came in a 4-wheel drive with flashing lights and a siren that was still suitably exciting for the kids to see. Jack just took it all in with wide-eyed curiosity.

Doug came home late after attending work drinks one night last week. Jack and I were in his downstairs play area around the time Doug normally gets home, and Jack kept looking towards the door and saying 'da da'. On Thursday the Childcare place also told Doug that Jack had been waiting for him - looking towards where Doug appears, and going and standing at the door gate and looking out for the 30 minutes or so before Doug arrived (slightly later than usual). It is amazing that babies have an 'internal clock' and anticipate events, despite not knowing the time.

Posted by Al at 2:31 PM

Jack has taken to scratching us deliberately the last couple days. He is really forceful about it. We tend to respond by shrinking back and involuntarily exclaiming (because it hurts), and then we sternly say no to him.

Our reaction might initially surprise Jack, but in the past this has been sufficient for him to understand in relatively short time that his actions were not good. That doesn’t always stop it, but he’ll push his boundaries with an accompanied cheeky grin.

The scratching has been a problem. He seems to acknowledge we don’t like it through his expression, but gets a forceful determined look on his face and keeps repeating it. It can be hard enough to draw blood.

We are working through some book suggested responses to try and “adjust” the behaviour. Neither of us would like to think of him doing that to a carer or another child at childcare.

Every day with a child seems to bring up some new amazing reward, and some new challenge to get over.

I read a quote yesterday that I found quite touching. It was spoken by a young man who had just buried his wife, losing her to breast cancer. "You know you can get sunburnt on a cloudy day? Just goes to prove that even though you can't see it, there's always sunshine in your life." The man subsequently died of cancer himself a couple years ago, and the quote and related story was mentioned in his online obituary.

How did I come across that? I was looking at a photography website, and a recently posted image was dedicated to him.

Posted by Doug at 11:15 PM

I’ve noticed both Al and I are whinging a lot at the moment. We are talking over each other to remark on how tired we are, or how little sleep we have been getting. It is simple enough – we are just doing too many things and running ourselves ragged - again. I can understand wanting to make the most of the opportunities, but we don’t give ourselves the chance to enjoy them in the rush. It looks like this weekend only has the one event on – I hope we can keep it to that.

Jack’s tippee toe standing stretches mean he can now touch objects on our bedside tables. The other day he dragged a glass of water off one of the tables, almost hitting himself on the head, and needing some wet clothes changed. Today Al moved the glass further away from the edge, but he still managed to drag it off. Tonight while holding him and checking my emails, I was careful to ensure Jack didn’t knock a glass of water over that I had on my desk. I was so busy watching him that I clumsily knocked the glass over myself.

Posted by Doug at 10:19 PM