Over night we had the highest level of rain since records were started. There were gale force winds, and floods, and damage. Al lay awake listening to it all. I snored peacefully besides her, oblivious. The house and gardens stood up well to it all, and there was no cleanup required.

We lost roof capping and tiles a year or two ago during a big storm. That certainly knocks your confidence and comfort level in high winds. I guess after last night's example, I'm not as fazed by it any more.

My parents called last night. We have always spoken regularly, but they are calling more frequently, and always start by asking how Al is going. Friends and Colleagues are also going out of their way to ask the same. That is kind of nice.

Posted by Doug at 9:21 PM

Saturday was a bit of a blur - a sinus headache that lasted all day, through tablets, shower, afternoon nap, and any other trick or fix I cared to try. Rather depressing. Finished the day at an in-law BBQ, celebrating the visit from one, and the move back to the state by another and his fiancé.

Al was asked how she was feeling, with appraised looks towards her stomach. There was a pause for just a fraction of a second, and then the tirade of information came. It was well meaning, but truly overwhelming. Her two step sisters had recently had their second children, and also work in the health field, so had much to say. I recently suggested we should carry a notebook to record all the advice we are getting. On Saturday we really needed to have recorded it, as no one could have written that quickly. It continued for most of the 3 odd hours we were there, and aside the initial question to Al, I'm not sure she was asked another question.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful - we certainly appreciated their effort, and will definately call upon them down the track with questions. It was nice though to get back to the quiet and comfort of home afterwards. Sometimes, you just need to approach things at your own pace.

Today was spent installing games on my PC - in preparation for next weeks LAN day. I also watched some cricket, and was very thankful to have noticed that a new series of Foyle's War was back on the ABC. Truly one of my favourite shows - tonight's episode being no exception.

Posted by Doug at 11:56 PM

Al is always late for work. Recently she has been getting even worse. Last night I set her alarm 10 minutes earlier. This morning she rolled over to hit snooze, realised what her husband had done, and chuckled. She then promptly turned the alarm off and fell back asleep. She was extra late for work this morning.

Received four packages in the mail today, postmarked from Sweden. These were full of baby clothes - sent by Al's Sister. Unless Al has a hidden stash (which quietly, I wouldn't be surprised by), these are our baby's very first clothes. (Some are rather impressive - certainly nicer than most of what is in my wardrobe!) We sorted them by gender and age, and put them in the "to be" nursery. We then wandered around working out storage and baby furniture locations. Suffered a slight panic at just how soon this will all have to be organised, while thinking how far away it still all seems.

Al has been particularly keen on hugs of late. It is nice feeling her obvious belly pressing up against me.

Posted by Doug at 11:43 PM

Over the last week Al's stomach really seems to have ballooned. Today at work she had a lady she speaks with occasionally come up, look pointedly at her stomach, and ask, "Are you…?" That's the first time someone has picked up the pregnancy from her physical appearance, a fact she seemed particularly happy about. She is certainly delighted about showing, which is really nice.

We both sent off emails to Al's Sister thanking her for the packages. In her reply she indicated that she wouldn't always be in a position to be so generous. Al and I are very self-reliant. When we make plans, like having a baby or filling up a nursery, we don't assume or expect anything from our family or friends. We knew and remarked on the fact Al's sister was very generous with her gift. We were touched and really appreciative of it, but we have absolutely no future expectations. She didn't need to worry - the gift was taken as singular and in the right way.

Actually - we do have an expectation. We figure she'll love being an Aunty to our child. That doesn't require any money to be spent.

Feeling really brain dead at the moment. While not especially stressful, the volume and type of work over the last few weeks is wearing me down. Still in need of that allusive relaxed holiday. At the moment I'm not going to see that for 18 odd months… or is that 18 odd years?

On the way home I did something uncharacteristic. After an email and a phone call, I dropped off at the photographer's studio who took our wedding photo's 8 and a half years ago. I picked up all the remaining proofs - well over 100 of them. I plan to give them to Al for Valentines Day. I must be capable of the occasional slight romantic thought. To my surprise, they also gave us all the negatives as a gift.

I also enquired about prices for portrait sittings. When Al is around 28 weeks, I will organise a sitting for her. We were really pleased with the photographer, and I'm sure he will be able to capture her happiness at being pregnant.

Posted by Doug at 9:17 PM

Friday.

Worked from home - long busy day. During the day, also managed to...

. Pick up a Valentine Day Card and present box for Al. Went through the wedding proofs and selected a nice sequence that covered the day, and hid the card and boxed photos in the bedroom. All organised for Monday.

. Not sure I mentioned it or not, but I purchased some second hand 18 inch Alloys and tyres for my car a couple weeks back. After a bit of running around (made worse as I could only fit two in the boot at any one time), I had them checked, repaired, and finally swapped onto the car on Thursday. On Friday I picked up the old alloys, along with a tarp, and put them away under cover in the Garage. Initially I wasn't 100% sure about the new look, but they have already grown on me.

. Had a salesperson visit to look at what sort of gate we want for the backyard paved area. Been difficult finding anyone interested in responding for what is such a small job. Will hopefully get the quote in the mail early next week.

. Got my hair cut. It is a simple and quick cut requiring clippers and two sized combs. She remarked that it had gone up slightly, which was a mild understatement. Went from $16 to $25. A touch annoying.

. Went over to friends to have home made pizza. Roleplayed (using the Shadow Run rules at the moment) until after midnight.

Saturday.

. Spent a couple hours preparing my PC, then took it over to another friends place for a LAN day with three others. Only really play shoot' em ups on these days (rarely otherwise), so don't tend to do all that well. Was off more than usual though, so won Bruce. Bruce is a ghastly-decorated porcelain style horse, which is the perpetual trophy given to the biggest looser of the day.

. Chatted to Mum for an hour on the phone.

. Chatted to an Internet Forum acquaintance for a while, who is working in UAE.

I am looking forward to a totally relaxed day tomorrow.

Al is going well, aside once again suffering hay fever. She was asked if she was pregnant again today - while in the chemist. That made her happy. She has also felt the baby move multiple times today. She likes being pregnant.

Posted by Doug at 11:22 PM

Working from home today, as I was yesterday, and as I will be tomorrow. One of the traps with owning a modified car - when something goes wrong, parts are often not kept on the shelf, and it can take days to organise the fix. Just listening to Something For Kate's B-Sides CD. Surprisingly good. Valentine's day went very well yesterday.

Posted by Doug at 10:42 AM

(Email to Mum Q.) All is still going well, and I am still feeling really well. Have done 3 of my exercise classes thus far and really enjoying them, both for the exercise itself, and because everyone in the class has been really friendly. It is nice to meet a few other mothers living in the area. The next ultrasound is next Tuesday, so looking forward to that. First felt the baby move a few weeks back, but at the start with it was pretty sporadic (just once here and there, but then nothing for days in between) whereas in past few days I have started feeling it more regularly, so that's been exciting. Had 2 people who didn't know I was pregnant, ask me if I was in past week (first time anyone has asked based on appearance), so I seem to be showing a bit more now also. The belly seems to have become more prominent in the past couple of weeks, but again it still depends on what I am wearing as to how noticeable it is.

Posted by Al at 12:08 PM

(Email to Melissa.) Have started feeling the baby moving more in the past few days (whereas up to now it has been only here and there with a number of days in between) so that's my excitement for this week :)

Posted by Al at 5:53 PM

Spent the last 4 working days at home. My job is well suited to it. Basically I have a constant flow of daily, weekly and monthly deadlines. I can't take a quiet day at home - I have no choice but to work. The only problem is that without the pressing urgency of getting out of the office before peak hour, it seems to take me longer to complete.

By the time I am finished I'm feeling more brain dead than usual. Then - and there is no nice way of saying this, TV takes over. For some odd reason I have gone from having 3 or 4 things to watch a week, to 3 or 4 things every night.

The workshop visit for the car did not go to plan - as seems common. They had ordered the wrong parts. The shop is normally very good, but had lost their main mechanic late last year. I get the feeling the owner is a bit snowed under at the moment. Still, doesn't fix the matter that I wasted so much of my time, and will have to waste more of it.

Al really seemed to enjoy the valentine's gift, so that went down very well. I think she most liked the idea that I wanted her to get photo's taken when she was pregnant. She has had several more people come up and ask if she was pregnant. She is also feeling the baby regularly. Just over half way.

Oh - The John Butler Trio CD - Sunrise Over Sea, is also particularly impressive.

Posted by Doug at 11:55 PM

I read an online article the other day about smacking children. It suggested 80% of parents in Australia did, but that they were wrong. Smacking a child is apparently linked to poorer academic achievement and limited development, more aggression, anti-social behaviour and delinquency. Negative interaction with your child, "such as arguing, is linked to anti-social behaviour such as smoking, drinking, teenage sex and drug use".

The wording is great - and reminds me of one of my favourite quotes by (I think) Andrew Lang - "Too often we use statistics as a drunken man uses a lamp post - more for support than illumination".

The solution is to "try speaking respectfully to each other; show appreciation for something your child has done, or ask for their opinion". Children when asked "would prefer their parents use other punishments, such as withdrawal of treats, grounding, extra chores, or being sent to a room."

Nice - I hope it works. How we attempt to go about disciplining our child will depend on their individual personality, our own experiences, and I guess trial and error. (We already talk about our good cop bad cop routine, and who will be stern and who will be the push over!) We'll listen to academia and the social righteous, but won't take them too seriously - it would be dangerous to.

When our children leave school, full of knowledge about their rights in life and what the world owes them, the government takes to smacking them if they step out of line. Huge fines ($4,000 for watering your lawn…), the burden of proving their own innocence for more and more 'crimes', etc. Before we unleash the government on our child, it will be important to teach them about rules, responsibility, discipline, respect, and an appreciation of boundaries - and we will do that in the way we think is best.

Posted by Doug at 12:09 AM

Yesterday was another busy day at work, then off to get the right parts fitted to my car, then out to another in-law BBQ. Same place, same people plus two. My brother in law and his wife (the plus two) announced that they were expecting. My mother-in-law endeared herself (not) by toasting my birthday, even though she knows I absolutely hate it being recognised or remarked upon. Got home and went straight to bed. Got up this morning feeling crap and headachy.

Did some shopping, but most items purchased ended up not being exactly right. Had a snooze and am still feeling average, but am about to have to head out to a concert tonight with friends.

Before I forget, for Valentines day Allison got me some chocolates, and the Before Sunrise DVD. (With Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke.) We watched that at the cinemas about 6 months into our marriage - which was 5 odd years since we had first started dating. I remember at the time we both felt the movie portrayed the emotion and feelings of falling in love really well. We also realised that we would never really have that between ourselves again.

Years later, as our love continued to grow, get deeper and stronger, we started to remark that what we have now has surpassed those first intensive 6 months. I appreciated Al's sentiment with the gift, although I'm almost too afraid to watch the movie - just in case it doesn't live up to our memories!

Posted by Doug at 6:47 PM

Al made a point of cooking up two big meals yesterday, and even baked a cake for me. Considering she was feeling just as average as I was, that was really nice of her. I have to admit my real aversion to anyone knowing it is birthday is a bit strange. I just really prefer the day passing as if it is just another day. A nice cooked meal from my wife and a card from her and my parents is all I want (or like).

This started somewhere in my early teens. I used to get picked on a lot in primary school, and the earlier years of High School. We moved a bit, and trying to fit into new 'clicky' country schools when you lacked self-confidence, didn't play football or cricket, and had an odd sounding voice was not easy. In part because I didn't like the attention, didn't want to open myself to disappointment, and felt they wouldn't particularly care, I stopped talking about things like birthdays.

I am now 32, have a wide circle of very good friends and family, yet still don't like celebrating my birthday. Al couldn't really believe it, and for years she would organise things in the belief I was "just saying that". After some not so good reactions she accepts it now - and does what she did yesterday. Got me a small thoughtful gift, cooked me a nice meal, and gave me a card. The handful of friends who know and remember it is my birthday are equally careful to only quietly acknowledge it.

My mother-in-law on the other hand… she knows I hate the public acknowledgement, but she just can not help herself.

Anyway, we attended a John Farnham and Tom Jones Concert last night, with one of my best friends (who didn't know it was my birthday), his wife, and her mother. They got there early and saved us some great seats. Both Al and I were tired and feeling run down, so didn't quite get as much out of it as we might have. However, it was definitely worth seeing. John's rendition of "Burn for you" was probably one of the best I've heard from him, and the highlight song would have been John and Tom singing, "You're the Voice". My Mum is going to see the concert tonight - and I'm sure she will love it. The baby kicked to a couple of signature Tom Jones songs that don't do a lot for me. If it was thinking, "Mum - turn the rubbish off!", it takes after me. If it was dancing to those songs, it takes after Al.

Posted by Doug at 10:38 PM

(Email to Karin.) I'm enjoying feeling the baby moving several times a day now. Often seems to move whenever I am eating, which probably makes sense as food going past it probably wakes it up or causes a reaction. I keep telling Doug it's either really like me and loves its food, or it is kicking up a fuss saying 'why are you sending that stuff past me again'! I have my 2nd ultrasound today - very excited / again slightly nervous in case any problems are detected. I’m hopefully today is the day we finally find out the sex (although still intending to keep this to ourselves) to that is very exciting and will make it all feel more real.

Posted by Al at 10:26 AM

(Email to Irene.) Had the 2nd ultrasound visit today - was all, so that was a relief. Exciting to see the baby again on the screen. It was looking much bigger than last time! They were also able to tell us the sex (but as mentioned we are keeping it to ourselves), so it is amazing to suddenly know that, and start being able to imagine the reality more!

Posted by Al at 2:17 PM

Had the second ultrasound today. Couldn't get a car park at the hospital, so had to drop Al off near the door and park on the street, some distance away. By the time I got there I was concerned that she would already have gone in, but no, there she was still in the waiting room. 45 minutes later and we were both still in the waiting room...

This scan took longer, and seemed more thorough. Everything appears to be going well, and no problems were found. We got some profile and face scans to ponder over (and more video), and if all goes to plan, the next time we 'see' the child will be when it is born.

Al came away very happy, and has been a little hyper since. Aside the fact everything is going well, I think it helps give her a more direct link to the baby. It has a probable name. It has a style of clothing will are more likely to buy. It has just become a little more real.

Interestingly, I can already see the love Al has for the unborn child. I don't think she has spoken specifically of it, or even fully realises, but I can see it in her eyes and actions. It is already part of our family.

Posted by Doug at 7:48 PM

"Signs you are not getting enough sleep include loss of energy, poor concentration, slower reaction time, mood swings, impaired memory, increased irritability and reduced social skills" - part of an article Al sent to me the other day. Might explain a few things about me. Anyway, it got me doing some calculations.

Al spends on average 9.5hrs a day in bed (40%)

I spend on average 5.5hrs a day in bed (23%)

One year = 8760 hours

Al is out of bed 5292hrs a year

I am out of bed 6752hrs a year

I am out of bed 1460hrs (or 27% more) than Al

Al averages 365 days x 14.5 hours active

I average 465 Allison 'days' in each year

Al responded to the above calculations with a laugh and said "you certainly do get alot more hours of 'living' than I do...then when you factor in your multitasking and busyness while awake, compared to my slothlike laziness, you can probably double that again!" Her prime concern was me burning myself out, leaving her to live twice as long as me!

Posted by Doug at 9:04 PM

Struggled to get out of bed, followed by another draining day, then an evening in a brain dead zoned out state. Situation normal. I'm just too tired once I get home to do much of consequence.

Out tomorrow night role-playing, Saturday we go down to Geelong to visit a high school friend of Al's (also pregnant, nearing the end), then on Sunday we go check out nursery furniture, and drop in a birthday BBQ for a Uni Friend. Not much opportunity to recharge the batteries, which are sorely depleted at the moment.

Al is still wandering around happy. She refers to the baby by its name regularly about the house, often with a slightly sly smile of true inner happiness.

Posted by Doug at 9:24 PM

Role-playing finished up early last night as one of the group had to work today. I'm not sure if it was because we started a little earlier, but it was a good session with more laughter than usual. Got home before midnight in time to say good-bye to the brother-in-law and his fiancée who had been visiting Al. I thought I'd get to sleep before midnight, but Al's prattling saw pay to that.

Actually slept in to after 8am, which is almost unheard of for me. Read week 22 of the pregnancy book to Al while lounging in bed, then got up and pottered about while Al got ready. We checked out a local factory direct outlet for baby products, which reinforced the need to do research. Then we drove down to Geelong to have lunch with an old High School Friend of Al's, and her husband. I got to know the husband a decade ago during the seemingly endless 21st birthday parties Al was invited too. We both have the same sort of dry sense of humour, and got along well. They had spent a lot of the last decade working all around the world, and have now settled back in Australia and are expecting their first child soon. After lunch two other High School friends dropped in, one with her 11-month daughter, and the other with her husband, and their two young children. It wasn't a bad visit. Drove home, ate dinner, did some research on baby furniture, and then caught up on a couple videos.

Tomorrow we go shopping for a matching cot, change table and bookcase. We know the brand we want (recommended by a number of people), and what shops stock it. In between that we have to drop in on a Birthday picnic. Not likely to get too much of a rest.

Posted by Doug at 11:44 PM