Back still extremely sore and it is a struggle to move. Al will be working from home tomorrow to take me to the Physio, since I couldn’t drive in my current state.

After a relatively good period with Jack, for the last week or so he has fallen back into being hypersensitive. Fragile is a good description – with instant tears the moment things don’t go perfectly to plan, over the top tantrums when he doesn’t get his way, and a common and uncalled for rude tone when answering us. He has a bit of a cold at the moment, and he might also be stressing about starting his holiday program tomorrow. As per usual we don’t have much patience for the more ridiculous aspects of his behaviour, and if he doesn’t pull himself together within a reasonable time frame, he tends to be sent to his room, and told not to return until he stops himself crying.

We are horrible parents.

One of the common triggers for Jack’s tears is Grace – either by destroying something he was working on, using something he wants, or regularly, hitting or biting him because he was getting in the way of something she wanted. I feel sorry for Jack in some sense – Grace bites him, and he gets sent to his room. It must seem terribly unfair. If only he could stand back and look at himself, hear the unconvincing drama queen wails and watch the crocodile tears fall.

Grace continues being Grace, a delightful strong little character who at times makes her parents work hard. Her behaviour however is generally pretty transparent – you can understand it. She can also pull herself out of a tantrum when it isn’t working, and frequently uses her cute cheeky grin to defuse situations or try and sway her parents towards her way of thinking. There is real enjoyment in watching and interacting with her as she busily storms around the house. It is not all good though – we all suffer from bites, head-butts and burst ear drums when she is not happy, and she has already probably embarrassed us more in public than Jack has to date. In fact, when she is screaming in public and being carried under one arm, flaying and thrashing about trying to kill all and sundry, I see lots of disapproving looks from people. Jack on the other hand is almost always good in public.

When Al walked into the Nursery this morning Grace was standing up in her cot and exclaimed “O noes!”

“What’s O Noes Grace?”

“I duna Poo”

When Al then opened her nappy on the change table, Grace exclaimed “Ta Da!”, then laughed.

The Physio suspects I have a herniated disc. While picking up Grace and filling the skip might have hastened issues, my back problems are more of a consequence of spending so many hours sitting at a computer, and not doing excercise or activities in my life which would keep my lower back strength up. The first visit helped me stand up straighter and move a little freer. Next visit is later today. Still in a great deal of discomfort.

Been a surreal day – with the media coverage of the floods and loss of life in Queensland, and not being able to work or do much of anything due to my back. Came away from the second Physio visit with my back taped, and a lot of discomfort. I was told I shouldn’t plan on working for the rest of the week, need to minimise how much time I spend sitting, and either be laying around on my stomach, or walking short distances. I go back again tomorrow for another session.

Third visit with the Physio saw them using some strange suction cup things which zap you (to use her description) “like a thousand pins and needles”. While not quite as dramatic as that, it was rather uncomfortable, and has left four red rings on my back. It was meant to reduce the amount of spasms going through my back, and seems to have done some good. I have a few more exercises and stretches to do, and go back again for yet another visit. I will also try to do a few hours’ work tomorrow, to cut back on the sick leave I have to take.

It has been hard not picking up Grace. I wasn't aware of how often she comes for a cuddle or asks me to pick her up - until I haven't been able to. She is unfortunately too young to understand, so I have to call quickly for Al to distract her away.

Jack went to Science works today with his Childcare Holiday program. It was the first excursion like this he has been on – and it was rather odd for Al and I knowing he was out and about without the supervision of a family member.

It was a good start to the concept of school trips – for both Jack and us. He was able to go with kids and carers he knew well, in a small group (4 careers and 9 kids!), practise carrying his backpack and managing his meals, and to a location he was familiar with and very keen to revisit. It went well.

I had the fourth visit in four days to the Physio – who delighted in causing a lot of pain. I go back again tomorrow for a fifth visit. It is getting better each day.

Yesterday Grace was charging down the passageway at a sprint when she caught the edge of her sandals on the ground and fell forward, slapping her hands down hard in front of her. There was a stunned half cry, and we quickly interrupted her with an “Oh no, up you get Grace.” She stood up with what amounted to a Toddler’s grumbling, literally rubbed her hands together (which must have been smarting), said “Uh Oh”, and took off running again.

This morning, in the process of trying to climb onto the couch with 3 books in hand, Grace slipped and landed with a thud on the ground. A whine / cry started to build, so we quickly interrupted her again with an “Oh no, up you get Grace.” She seemed to assess the situation, realise she wasn’t in much discomfort, stood up to pat the couch and said sorry to it, then climbed back up on it (this time with just 1 book in hand. )

Resilience in spades.

Jack on the other hand, who is going through a very fragile stage again at the moment, collapses in a heap, tears streaming down his face, mouth open in anguished cries, chanting “it hurts so much”, any time he has the slightest of bumps. He cries so often at the smallest of things that he literally gets punished for it, threatened to be sent to his room for crying over something so silly and small.

Poor kid.

We had a failed parenting moment yesterday. Had a catch up with Al’s sisters, associated kids and husbands, and her parents to mark Christmas and try out Melissa’s new pool. We allowed the kids to go swimming during the very worst hours of the day for sun, and were not as careful with the sunscreen as we should have been. Jack ended up with a couple nasty burns under his eyes, and on a patch across the top of one arm. Grace fared better, just turned brown overnight, and Al has a wide burnt area across her back.

It is the last day of Jack’s Holiday program at his Childcare Centre, and his last day there in any official capacity after more than 5 years of attendance.

Al and I are both feeling sad for him. He has come such a long way since starting at the centre, from shy, quiet and never saying a word, to having good close friends, laughing, and gaining the ability to join in and play with almost every child there. It is likely he will not see many of these kids again, and in reality, probably only keep in touch with one or two of his closest friends.

Jack seems matter of fact about this, and like many kids, lacks in the sentiment department. I also suspect he doesn’t get the reality of it. He has however said he is just looking forward to making new friends at his school. He is not entirely convincing when he says it, but it a much better attitude than it could be!