I feel like I am finally able to catch my breath this morning with Jack at his first day at the Turtle Room after nearly 3 weeks at home with both kids. Jack seemed excited this morning as he headed off, but in usual fashion went quiet and looked unsure of himself as we entered the room. Over the break he told me he didn't know what the 'Turtle room rules' are, so I mentioned that to the carer since rules are very important to him, and will help him feel more comfortable. On the way there he asked if Kylie the music lady would still come to the Turtle room, and if he will still learn Italian - so we also asked these questions ('yes' to Italian, 'think so' to music). Hopefully the year ahead will continue to help develop Jack's confidence as he will be one of the oldest kids on the playground.

Today is also a day of mixed emotions for me with Grace to have her first couple hour visit to childcare this afternoon. As a second-time parent I have seen all the many benefits Jack has gained in attending childcare - particularly around developing friendships with peers, participating in group activities, and stimulation from the wide range of activities available. Therefore I am not questioning in my mind whether we are doing the right thing in the long term by Grace. In the short term however I can't help worrying about how she will handle the transition - although I feel her personality is likely to help her adapt quicker than Jack did. I also think she will enjoy the extra stimulation. I feel sad that my time of spending 24/7 with her has come to an end.

Other than the first few difficult months where she cried a lot for no reason and was difficult to settle, she has emerged into a happy, delightful little baby and a joy to be around. I do hope the childcare transition doesn't undermine this in the short term. It is hard to let go of your young baby into the care of others, but I am thankful we have got her into the same center that Jack attends. Jack also looks forward to having his baby sister at the Centre. He will be able to see her through the window from the Turtle room, and able to visit her there on occasion which he is excited by.

At the start of the Christmas break I was feeling relatively relaxed, particularly with Doug doing all the running around and preparations, and with less events in the lead up to the big day than usual. Doug's parents stayed Christmas Eve and night. Jack stayed up to watch Santa arrive at the Christmas carols before heading off to bed. He was suitably excited by the huge haul of presents from Santa, Mum, Dad, Grace and the extended family. He had spent a lot of time putting together a lengthy letter to Santa, filled with ideas he cut and paste from every toy catalog that arrived in our mailbox. He tried really hard to be a good boy so that Santa would give him some of his ideas. He was very excited to see lots of Ben 10 presents (his latest obsession).

A surprise hit present was a bug collector from Kiara. We have so far managed to catch 10 different bugs (from spiders to stick insect to moths) and we are writing a list to keep track of them all. Grace received a good mixture of clothes, toys and books. She took the day in her stride. She is most excited by new musical toys that she can bang on and gets a huge grin and bounces around in her own dance style whenever the music plays.

Posted by Al at 12:18 PM

Jack reportedly had a good first day at the Turtle room yesterday, contributing to group discussions and playing in the room. However he then melted down into tears as soon as we got to the car, and a few times during the evening. This is a typical reaction for him whenever he has had a day that causes him some stress or anxiety. He did mention a few of the ‘Turtle room rules' to me last night so I was glad they had immediately followed up on that. He also told me he took a long time to decide what he wanted to do, but then played with the marble tree. He showed me the marble tree this morning on drop off. I mentioned to one of the carers in Grace's room this morning about Jack's meltdown reaction, and that it is typical of him to hold all his emotions in at childcare, and then melt down repeatedly afterwards. She suggested there are strategies that could be put in place for this, and immediately followed up with the staff in his room about this, which was appreciated.

I stayed in the room with Grace for 40 minutes. She took her time observing the room and moving around a bit too different toys. I was glad it was a quiet day in the room with only 4 kids to 3 staff. At the staff's suggestion I then said goodbye and left her there for 1 hour 20 minutes. They reported that she cried as soon as she realised I had left. She was settled with her dummy, had some quiet time, and some upset time for the remainder of her stay. She was overtired by the time I picked her up (which they observed) so this didn't help matters. They did take her in to have a cuddle with Jack. Jack was excited by this and telling everyone this was his baby sister, but he reported Grace cried. She cried as soon as she saw me walk back into the room. Today was a similar story, where I stayed in the room with her for 20 minutes and she was fine. She then reportedly had some quiet time and some crying time, and again was looking tired when I picked her up. She did enjoy eating some scone and had some boiled water to drink.

Jack has found if he stands on tiptoes in the 'collage room' he can see Grace. He kept coming and talking to me through the wall while I was in the room with Grace. So all up it is about the start to childcare that could be expected for Grace - not wonderful, but not as bad as it could be. We can only hope it doesn't take too long for her to accept her new routine. One of the carers did mention to me that Grace's age is the best age for kids to start in childcare as they adjust quicker than if they start at 2 or older.

It is straight back to work for me after having Jack and Grace at home for nearly 3 weeks. We spent the time combining some quiet home days, with some family and friend visitors and visits. We made it out to parks a couple of times and a Play centre visit once. Overall it went mostly well, and Jack was relatively good for most of it. He enjoyed extra time playing computer games, doing drawing, writing and art projects, and playing with his new toys. At times he did seem out of sorts and tired of being at home and seemed ready to head back to childcare this week. I enjoyed the time overall. At same time found I didn't manage to relax as much as I had hoped. Given Jack still isn't very independent, his constant demands for attention do get tiring, particularly when trying to give time to Grace also. Also knowing it was my last 'full time' with Grace leading up to her start to childcare had me wanting to try to balance the time with Jack and the time with Grace. Combined with still getting up 1-3 times a night with Grace, there is very little down time for me currently.

Being at home more is one of the things I have struggled most with in past year. Previously I was able to get out with Jack on an almost daily basis to parks, Play centres, play dates, and other 'excursions or outings'. Since Grace came along it isn't as easy for me to take both kids out by myself – plus having to take Grace's sleep routines into account. As such, we have spent a lot more time at home. In some ways this has benefited Jack to have more down time. At the same time with less social outings, he is then more unpredictable when taking him out and has less confidence again. I expect it will get easier over time to get out more with both Grace and Jack, particularly once Grace starts walking.

Summary of Grace at 10 months:

. Fully crawling all the time now, often with a toy in one hand

. Happily exploring the house (other than getting pulled away from cords, music corner and blinds repeatedly)

. Fascinated with doors at the moment, and constantly swinging them back and forwards (until pulled away when she is getting close to jamming fingers)

. Starting to climb in and out of the shower in the mornings

. Loves having baths with Jack and I. Happily splashes and kicks and plays with toys. Jack loves having his baby sister in the bath also. When Grace doesn't go in the bath, she stands up on the side and watches Jack. I have to watch and hold her carefully as she tries to reach down for the water.

. Can crawl up the stairs

. Can take a couple steps sometimes while holding our hands, but so far not showing a lot of interest in going from cruising to walking

. Waking 1-3 times a night

. Has started hugging me tightly back at times when I hug her

. First tooth partly through (so far, hasn't overly affected her, although occasionally biting down hard on things)

Summary of Jack at 4 years 6 months:

. Has been doing lots of letter writing practice, and asking us to spell out words for him to write words down

. Enjoys dressing up in new Ben 10 outfits

. Loves spending time playing a range of children computer games. Very good at working out how to play new games

. Working out Math concepts in his head. One morning in bed he mentioned to Doug '2 + 1 = 3, 1 + 2 = 3, 3+ 0 = 3'. He also asks questions such as what is the largest possible number

. Has had some food battles of late, and particularly when out places or when other people are at our home (saying he doesn't want to eat it, unless he is being served one of his favourite foods). After a few days constant battle where we told him he could leave the table and eat nothing for the rest of the night, it seems to have receded for the moment. Time will tell how long that lasts.

- Has been practicing whistling and now able to produce quiet whistle sounds

Posted by Al at 2:24 PM

Jack is attending a summer swimming program this week. It was offered to us free; to try and help Jack get over a couple hurdles he has been stuck at for a while. These basically come down to him panicking any time he is out of his depth.

One very obvious example of this is his refusal to jump into the pool without reaching out to hold the hand of an instructor. Today, heading towards his third jump, he told us he would jump in by himself this time. He got to the edge of the pool, crouched down low, refused the offered hand, and launched himself into the water all by himself. He came out beaming and very happy with himself.

We were very impressed – but also rather amused. In his effort to ensure he hit the water very close to the instructor, he actually ended up landing right on her head. The startled instructor was only a trainee, and hadn’t braced her leg against the wall to push away with.

Posted by Doug at 12:35 PM

Grace started at childcare last week – three days at two hours each. This week it will be three days at four hours each, and next week it will be three full days. She is not overly impressed with this change in her circumstances, and complains at drop off and pick up. She is also apparently a bit clingy while there. She has however eaten and slept where there, and is her normal self immediately after we pick her up. While not a perfect transition, it is about what we were hoping for. (And is a mile ahead of our experiences with Jack.)

Grace has already picked up new skills from Childcare – she learnt how to clap (something we had tried to show her without much luck), she has started to point at things, and she has started to show more interest in walking while we hold her hands.

Posted by Doug at 8:30 AM

We have been surprised by Jack’s progress at swimming – the daily lessons are really paying off. Over the last few days he has had a shot of confidence, and his treading water, swimming on is front and back, and jumping in have greatly improved. Al and I were both very proud of his efforts today - including his best ever solo effort to jump in.

Posted by Doug at 11:24 AM

The government released a website that rates the performance of schools, and allows you to compare them with others. Al poured over the site for many hours, put together half a dozen spreadsheets, and re-read all the notes she had taken when searching for a Primary School for Jack.

After sleepless nights and much stressing, she came to me tonight indicating her preference would be to change our schooling plans for Jack again, and push to get him into Private school from Prep.

I looked back at the figures we had put together the last time Al returned to this topic, looked at her latest arguments, and was convinced even more that we should not change our plans. I think Al accepted that - for now anyway.

I certainly feel the pressure of getting this decision right, but I could not have imagined how much Al would agonise and worry over it. It would be the second most stressful decision I have ever seen her trying to make, trumped only by the decision between us when to start trying to have a second child.

Posted by Doug at 1:12 AM