Jack and Grace seem to have worked out a couple games they can play together. First in the car Grace throws a toy away, Jack retrieves it for her and she laughs. Then rinse and repeat until the toy can't be reached by either child. Second they are playing ball together, where the pair of them roll / throw balls at each other and chase them around. It is nice to see.

Jack came into our room last night at 3am - extremely frightened. He had had a dream where he was at childcare, and all of the kids were digging a big hole. Suddenly a huge ladies head with big teeth came out of it and swallowed him whole. He shivered uncontrollably for 30 minutes, and chatted for a full hour because he did not want to go back to sleep. He talked over things like us never getting to seeing him again because he ”would have disappeared and been dead”.

While I tried to calm him and repeatedly said it was just a dream, he never really settled. In the end he cuddled up to me and went back to sleep with his head on my shoulder.

This morning he was still very disturbed by the dream, has not wanted to be away from us, and said he did not want to go to Ready Steady Go today because of it. It is sad to see the impact on him, even now, just from one vivid dream.

One small positive I guess was that he came to me instead of his mum (who was in the nursery with Grace). Jack has always been very attached to his mum – and for much of his life if he was really upset only his mum could help him. I have noticed over the last 6 months or so that Jack will now come to me as well, which is nice.

For the third childcare day in a row Grace has not cried at drop off. She has just surveyed the room and half watched mum as she leaves. The carers say she is having good days, and enjoys wandering all around the room, taking time to stop and play with the various toys. She also seems to be interacting with the other kids, and likes her cuddles with the carers. We have noticed she now seems more chatty when she is playing at home.

Grace did not cry when I dropped her off at Childcare today - she just calmly watched me leave.

Grace has now been at childcare just over a month. The first week was 2 hours each visit; the second week 4 hours, then the past few weeks have been full days. This was a much faster transition than we did for Jack, and seems to have been a better approach. Grace still cries furiously each morning when I pass her over to a carer - but does not instantly cry as we enter the room. Similarly she melts into tears as soon as she sees me at pickup time. Initially she wanted to stay very close to the carers and cried or whinged any time they moved away. She is now starting to crawl around the room more to explore and follow the other babies about (although the carers still say she loves their attention). They report she has mostly good days now.

Today they said she was laughing when Jack bobbed his head up and down from the turtle room window playing peek-a-boo with her. They also said she found the maracas hilarious at music time. She is eating well and drinking all her expressed milk from the bottle. She is only sleeping 30-45 mins at a time, but that isn’t much less than at home. She does look very tired by the end of the day – but she is otherwise her normal self when we get home and doesn't seem extra clingy or different in her behaviour. So all up, it is about as good as we could hope for at such an early stage.

Jack has now settled well into his Turtle room. After some emotional meltdowns in his first week or so, he has really calmed down and is for the most part is currently a happy little boy. We don't know if this relates to feeling more settled in the room, or strategies the carers have put in place around expressing emotions and spending some one-on-one time with him each day, but it is most welcome. He has also had a mostly good start to his activities. A school holiday week-long swim program has really given him a burst forward in confidence and skills. He was excited to go to his first gymnastics class and gave everything a try, but a bit more anxious and cautious in his second week.

My work is shaping up to be a busy year with the initial large warehouse implementation I have been working on, as well as a study project I have now been asked to manage on interim warehouse solutions. Doug and I are feeling a bit tired as we adjust back into the busy work and kids activities schedule after the summer break. I am also finding the expressing 3 times a week time consuming and tiring. Doug has been doing the beginning of the morning routine with Jack - while I sleep in until Grace wakes up (usually around 7:30-7:45). I have found this extra sleep very helpful, although Doug is finding his work day extending longer as a result.

In the past month we have made it out to a couple of local art galleries. Jack has shown interest in the visits, and said after this latest visit that it is giving him ideas for his artwork. We have had Grandma C and Pop visit for 3 days, much to Jack's delight. They enjoyed getting to see the large award-winning park that was built a couple years ago in our suburb. We had a trip down to Geelong to visit one of my high school friends. This included a visit with Auntie Lis to see the new marina at Queenscliff. Jack enjoyed a short walk on the beach, as well as dinner with Auntie Lis, Grandma Q and Pop. Jack also had fun playing at Dom and Bella's house on Australia Day.

Summary of Grace at 11 months

. has 2 bottom teeth

. has just started getting the idea of walking while we hold her under the armpits (after Doug walked her between his legs staying 'step, step, step' and she seem to understand what to do now when we say step to her)

. done her first few laps of the lounge room holding onto the walker

. enjoys crawling through her tunnel if we look through the other end at her and put a couple toys in for her to collect along the way

. within a couple weeks of starting childcare started clapping her hands and pointing (both things picked up there)

. has started saying 'mum mum mum' (hooray!!) . She says 'dis' (this) and 'dat' (that) when pointing at things. 'Door' is another of her words. Her cute baby babble has increased markedly in past month since starting childcare

. has started getting excited about pointing at pictures on the walls and having books read to her

. at her recent pediatrician appointment (all clear on the previous issues), she was 77cm tall (which he commented was very tall) and 9kgs (which he commented was a bit under what he expected given they generally triple their birth weight in first year, but still indicated she looks healthy and happy is doing well)

. splashing and kicking excitedly at her baby swimming classes. Cries a bit on the mat but still crawls across it

. when we go to playgroup she cries whenever I am more than a metre or so away from her. Likewise if I take her somewhere new (like her first music class) she is tentative and worried in case I am going to leave her there (so probably a combination of separation anxiety at this age, and a reaction to starting childcare)

. coped really well with being babysat for first time by someone other than my mum (Jacqueline - Jack's previous carer from his old childcare centre he no longer attends). Jacqueline had her smiling and laughing within minutes.

Summary of Jack at 4 years 7 months

. is starting to play more independently at times. He is enjoying some time playing by himself in his room each morning. All his imaginext toys, train set, Bob toys, Lightning McQueen and other cars and dinosaur toys all make for great imaginative play. We are enjoying extra time playing in his room when Grace is sleeping or watching baby dvds.

. tantrums have reduced considerably in past month and he has returned to being a mostly happy, polite, delightful little boy

. is loving spending time on the computer. He now gets to play computer games twice a day, and the extra downtime seems to be helping him. For the most part he is getting off when asked without too much fuss. Occasionally when he starts to melt down when told to get off, he has had his privileges revoked for the next session - so he has quickly come back into line again

. He has really enjoyed starting on 'reading eggs' (a computer program designed for 4-7 year olds to encourage learning to read, starting at a beginner level). We don't fully know how much he is taking in of it (as any time we try to watch him he stops trying) but it is good to see his interest. He has also shown some interest in the 'letterland' cd and book.

. is really wanting to interact a lot with Grace at this stage. He wants to give her lots of kisses and hugs (although Grace isn't always the happiest recipient of this). He does make her smile and laugh a lot. He occasionally gets too forceful when trying to stop her doing things, or testing boundaries with her when he thinks we aren't looking, so we have to keep a closer eye on their interactions. For the most part he continues to be a great big brother for his baby sister. He loves having cuddles in bed with Grace and me in the mornings and sometimes at night.

. has managed to tread water for 30 seconds without any floaties. He is starting to jump in more without the instructors holding his hands (but still depends on the day whether he tries or not)

. continues to enjoy drawing, colouring, collage work, stickers and activity books. Really enjoys being able to do drawings or cards or collages for other people.

. has been enjoying playing with a water gun (late delivered Christmas present) in the backyard.

It appears our Do No Call Registry entry expired. We went from getting maybe 1 unsolicited phone call a fortnight to getting 3 or 4 a day. There was no warning provided – we just suddenly started getting a flood of calls. When I re-registered there was an option to have an email sent when the entry was about to expire. Hopefully that will work as intended in three years time.

Last night I had a gentlemen call to say he would be sending out a shopping card. I asked what company he was calling on behalf of, but he said he must tell me the benefits of the card first. I said I wasn’t going to listen to the spiel unless I knew what company it was for. I assume the poor fellow has a script he has had to read through time and time again – and I could almost hear his brain attempting to wake up and process the unexpected conversation. After a long pause he finally responded with “Why?”

“Because I want to know if I have had a previous relationship with the company, or if you are just cold calling.”

Long pause.

“What do you think?”

“I think you are cold calling, but I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and politely asking.”

Long pause.

“Never mind, I am sorry to be bothering you, we will be removing your phone number from our list.”

And then he hung up.

At least he was polite. The most common call we have received is from people who say they are working with the government, and were booking a time to come around and install insulation for us. As soon as you start to say you don’t need insulation the majority of these callers immediately hang up on you.

At least now we know the Do Not Call Registry did indeed work. Now I just have to put up with another month of these annoying phone calls before it starts working for us again…

We got a babysitter in last night so Al and I could attend an information session for Jack's childcare room. This is the first time we have done that since Grace was born, and we were pleased with how well it went.

Jack has been particularly good since going back to Childcare. He complains a lot less around the house and seems happier within himself.

Grace isn't entirely pleased with the notion of childcare, and kicks up a bit of a stink at drop offs and pick ups. The carers however report she is doing well during the day, and she is eatting and sleeping as much as she would do at home. Just recently she has really started to "talk" to people and objects around her in a cute baby babble.

The government released a website that rates the performance of schools, and allows you to compare them with others. Al poured over the site for many hours, put together half a dozen spreadsheets, and re-read all the notes she had taken when searching for a Primary School for Jack.

After sleepless nights and much stressing, she came to me tonight indicating her preference would be to change our schooling plans for Jack again, and push to get him into Private school from Prep.

I looked back at the figures we had put together the last time Al returned to this topic, looked at her latest arguments, and was convinced even more that we should not change our plans. I think Al accepted that - for now anyway.

I certainly feel the pressure of getting this decision right, but I could not have imagined how much Al would agonise and worry over it. It would be the second most stressful decision I have ever seen her trying to make, trumped only by the decision between us when to start trying to have a second child.

We have been surprised by Jack’s progress at swimming – the daily lessons are really paying off. Over the last few days he has had a shot of confidence, and his treading water, swimming on is front and back, and jumping in have greatly improved. Al and I were both very proud of his efforts today - including his best ever solo effort to jump in.

Grace started at childcare last week – three days at two hours each. This week it will be three days at four hours each, and next week it will be three full days. She is not overly impressed with this change in her circumstances, and complains at drop off and pick up. She is also apparently a bit clingy while there. She has however eaten and slept where there, and is her normal self immediately after we pick her up. While not a perfect transition, it is about what we were hoping for. (And is a mile ahead of our experiences with Jack.)

Grace has already picked up new skills from Childcare – she learnt how to clap (something we had tried to show her without much luck), she has started to point at things, and she has started to show more interest in walking while we hold her hands.

Jack is attending a summer swimming program this week. It was offered to us free; to try and help Jack get over a couple hurdles he has been stuck at for a while. These basically come down to him panicking any time he is out of his depth.

One very obvious example of this is his refusal to jump into the pool without reaching out to hold the hand of an instructor. Today, heading towards his third jump, he told us he would jump in by himself this time. He got to the edge of the pool, crouched down low, refused the offered hand, and launched himself into the water all by himself. He came out beaming and very happy with himself.

We were very impressed – but also rather amused. In his effort to ensure he hit the water very close to the instructor, he actually ended up landing right on her head. The startled instructor was only a trainee, and hadn’t braced her leg against the wall to push away with.

I had another enjoyable Christmas this year. We further refined our approaches to reduce the stress and hassle, and I feel it worked well.

We had picked up some of the kid's gifts months in advance during the sales, and while we did go out four weekends in a row, after that effort if we had not found a suitable gift for a person we simply got a voucher for them instead. We had finished our gift shopping at least 10 days before Christmas.

Instead of travelling to visit my parents this year, they came and stayed a couple days with us. They are easy guests, and with Mum being able to help with the kids, it made it easier for us to prepare.

We picked tasty but quick food to prepare for Christmas lunch, and staggered the meal across several hours. I think our only fault was putting out too much food. Next time we will just do hot foods at lunch, and put out the cold foods for Tea. Desserts were eaten hours after each meal, which worked well.

On Boxing Day we went to Al's step-sisters place, which I also found relatively relaxed.

Grace mostly took everything in her stride, while Jack was a bit up and down. All told though I think he enjoyed it, and having less running around meant he wasn't stretched so far. Both kids got a huge haul of presents, although Jack's seemed to be mostly wrapping and packaging in the end.

I don't think Al enjoyed it as much. Grace's sleeping hasn't been the best, and Al has really been suffering from sleep deprivation. Add a late onset of hayfever and a surprising amount of stressing about Christmas and juggling Jack's demands (while his childcare is on holidays), and things haven't gone as smoothly for her as she would have liked.

Grace has been teething. She has been a touch more antsy and wanting to chew on things more, but otherwise is handling the process much better than Jack used to. Her arm strength is impressive - I've noticed her swinging from side to side or dancing in her portacot, holding on with just one hand.

It has been a busy few weeks. Aside for the food shopping, we are now ready for Christmas. We seemed to have managed the juggling act ok this year – finishing off all the preparations without it being too annoying or stressful.

Jack has been very up and down the last few weeks – one day he will be a complete angel, the next (like tonight) he is constantly melting down and crying.

Grace is moving along. She is pulling herself up into a standing position all the time, and crawling around happily. She has taken to waving back at you now, and breaks out in a chuckling laugh any time you dance with her. A common sight is her twinkling eyes and button nose peering over the top of the portacot.

This morning in her cage, using the bars, Grace pulled herself up into a standing position by herself for the first time. When Al noticed she exclaimed loudly in surprise, and a startled Grace fell over.

On Sunday the runs stopped, and Jack oscillated between having no fever and the mildest of fevers. On Monday the fever was gone, and his whinging and complaining ramped back up again. While I suspect it might take a while for his energy levels to build back up to normal, he is now obviously better.

A 9 day virus, or maybe a stomach bug. (The later wouldn’t surprise me.) I am glad he finally seems well on the mend.

Jack is conked out on the couch – where he has been falling asleep most afternoons since he became ill. He has had fevers and diarrhea for 9 days now, which is worrying us. The doctor today is still hopeful that it is a virus, but organised some tests next week on his wee and poo . He raised the possibility that Jack might have a bacterial infection in his intestines. We are also to watch him closely, and take him straight to an emergency department if he takes a turn for the worst.

I am looking forward to having whinging, complaining and demanding Jack back as soon as possible.

Al took Jack back to the doctors today. The doc wanted a wee sample before making a judgment on Jack’s five day run of temperatures and the runs. Jack however got performance anxiety and said he didn’t need to go. Al got him home and plied him with water and icy poles, but Jack held on.

Finally while Al was out of the room she heard the scurrying of little feet heading quickly to the toilet, so she made the intercept and got the sample. End result was the doc feels it is just a longer lasting viral infection than usual. No change to the current regime.

This blog was started on the 27th of October, 2004. So far there have been 945 posts and 175 images uploaded.

Jack’s sickness continues - we had to keep him home from childcare for the last two days. He only had a mild temperature on and off, which was an improvement, but his toilet visits are still unpleasant for all concerned. He’s had momentary bursts of energy, but mostly just sat quietly watching TV or playing on the computer. I suspect he might have to spend most of the week at home.

During one of Jack's frequent visits to the toilet today, Al had to take her eyes of Grace for a moment. Grace again managed to face plant on the tiles. I heard the thud from downstairs, the long, long pause as Grace breathed in as much air as she could, and then the subsequent scream. She ended up with a bruise over her temple which hasn’t cleared as quickly as the earlier marks. I can't recall Jack hitting his head so hard, so many times at this age. Grace seems to get over these incidents quickly – far quicker than her parents do.

Grace is still waking up frequently over night. Al starts most of her days either grumpy or comatose. Sometimes she is both.

Grace is now crawling correctly most of the time and sitting cross legged and straight backed when she stops. She has toppled out of the sitting position a number of times however; face planting on hard furniture or smacking herself into the tiled floor on several occasions. I’ve been harping on Al to watch her like a hawk – but she can’t devote 100% of her attention to Grace like she did for Jack. We also haven’t been able to close off a large area and put down padding like we did with Jack. It worries me.

Jack has been running a temperature the last few days, and the doctor suspects he might have a 7 day bug which is going around at the moment. Today Jack put himself to sleep on the couch instead of going to see Santa and his (live) reindeers at the nearby shopping centre. That was a very clear sign on how he was feeling.

Jack was intrigued by the fact his mum was going back to work today. On the way to childcare he told her not to spend any of the money she would earn at the shops. When asked why, Jack said we had to save the money for when he was older, so that we could buy him a house and car when he turned 18.