I saw a movie today with Al – only the second time we have done so since Jack was born.

We watched the Spiderwick Chronicles – a PG rated movie orientated towards children. It was reasonable, aside the stereotypical family conflict that is too common in American movies, and the occasional point where the CGI was not perfectly polished.

I couldn’t help but wonder though at what point we would allow Jack to watch something like it. There was a great deal of graphic stabbing, biting and monster mashing. I can only assume that since the monsters all bleed green goo, that it was considered to be ok.

The reviews on the cinema website suggested 7 to 8 year olds were generally scared at the start of the movie, but then relaxed and really loved it. I wonder at what age it is ok to allow your child to be really scared?

There is a section in Shrek 3 that scares Jack, although he does still get to watch it. We don’t allow him to watch Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc however since there were a too many scenes that might upset him. There is even a Winnie the Poo DVD that we don’t show him, since it is much too dark.

I can see this will be an area that will keep us busy.

We were caught out today – stuck for 30 minutes travelling along in the car with Jack crying and throwing a tantrum - until he literally exhausted himself and fell asleep.

He had been pushing our buttons all day – in fact, for several days. Testing and deliberately naughty behaviour intermingled with lots of meltdowns over the smallest of issues. In hindsight we shouldn’t have picked the particularly battle we did – but the moment you open your mouth and the words “don’t do that Jack” tumble out, you are locked on a path of not backing down.

I don’t know why – but I had kind of hoped we were past car trips like that. It was extraordinarily aggravating – stuck there listening to it going on and on. It made it difficult to concentrate on the road, and left Al and I alternating between comforting each other and snapping at each other.

The only positive to come out of the horrendous situation was the subsequent realisation that the reason Al and I over analyse and feel bad about these parental “failures” is that we do so because we are trying to be good parents.

We have always been affectionate with Jack – lots of hugs, kisses and physical interaction. Due to Jack’s nature, and I hope in part our example, he has always been affectionate back to us.

I was surprised to find that the mechanics of affection actually involves some learning.

Jack’s early kisses for example would just involve lips mashed against your cheek with some force. Now they come with much more finesse.

Jack’s hugs were also originally closer to enthusiastic draping – arms thrown over your shoulders as he landed on you. Just lately however he has perfected them. Now he grips you in his little arms and hugs tightly – even throwing in the occasional pat on the back.

I would like to indulge with two examples from yesterday – so I can remember them in future.

When I picked up Jack from Childcare he noticed me walk in and loudly exclaimed “Oooo Jack ######’s Daddy is here”. He danced / skipped over to the nearest carer and said “Jack run to Daddy, Ok?” (They are not allowed to run inside normally.) When she nodded he came running. I bent down on one knee and Jack launched himself at me, wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a huge hug. You could surely not ask for a better greeting.

On our way home I told him that his Mum had a sore head. When we arrived Jack gave his mum a hug, then grabbing fists full of her hair, forcefully yanked her head down so that he could kiss the top of it. He then asked “Sore head all better now mummy?”

Once again it has been a very busy month - so it has taken me awhile to find time to do this update.

The main event for the month was a group holiday to Lake Hume with some Uni friends (10 adults and 8 kids in total). We enjoyed the opportunity to walk onto the Hume Wall, go to a Wildlife Park, Galleries, Lookouts and drives. It was great to catch up with our friends in a relaxed environment, and we enjoyed meals on the restaurant balcony and in our cottages together. Jack particularly enjoyed the group visit to a trout farm (his first ever fishing experience) and playing mini golf with his dad.

Another highlight was a ride on the Thomas the Tank Engine and watching the following Thomas show. Jack was suitably excited - but also scared earlier on during the ride, and with the loud noises. He now keeps asking to go to the 'train park' (located near Emerald Station), so he can watch Puffing Billy go past. We have also found a park with a lake frequented by ducks, so that is also becoming a regular weekend haunt. Jack was intrigued by putting long sticks in the water around the lake and saying we were 'fishing'. Jack also enjoyed the 'Zoo Twilight' Jazz session with attended with some of our friends.

Unfortunately the month has also been a particularly difficult one. Jack has been out of sorts for much of it - between a bad cold and cough that is still lingering, and his last tooth coming through. He has also really amped up the 'terrible 2s' behaviour - screaming at top of his voice when not getting want he wants, more tantrums (including more in public), kicking and hitting us, deliberately doing what we tell him not to and so on. It has had me madly re-reading our baby books looking for strategies to try to avoid the bad behaviour (like trying to always give him some notice before moving from one activity to the next), and strategies to try once he is misbehaving.

Even with all the strategies and best intentions in the world, I have struggled more than usual to keep on top of things. I am not handling stress as well as I usually would, and am feeling worn down after months of difficult behaviour. We really hope things start to calm down after this last tooth is finally through. Speaking to the other mothers of kids at the same age, they all seem to be going through similar behaviour - so it is of some comfort to know it is normal and expected.

Summary of Jack at 32 months:

. Jack's current favourite pastime is building train tracks all around the house. We spend all day building it and then packing it away, then building a new one. He insists 'we work together' to build it (which is difficult for our backs).

. Jack's favourite soft toy is the bumble bee puppet that is used in music class. Bumble Bee now accompanies us on many excursions, participates in our play at home, and Jack has many 'conversations' with him. Jack’s latest Bob the Builder DVD has Bob's Dad in it. He refers to Bob as 'Bobby' - so now Jack refers to his toy Bob the Builder as Bobby. Bobby also participates in play and has conversations with us. We let Jack play with some tongs from the kitchen - which Jack refers to as 'Snapping One'. Snapping One is also involved in play and conversations, and is helping Jack's co-ordination skills with holding train tracks and other items. It is lovely to see Jack's imagination developing.

. It is interesting watching Jack's thought patterns and conversations become more complex. When we sit down to play he often starts by giving us a long monologue about all the steps he wants to happen, such as 'we build the train track and snapping one to help build it, and it will go all the way around the house, then we put the train on it and the train will go round and round then we will pack up the train track', etc. He has very specific ideas of what he wants to happen and is able to increasingly convey his ideas, but does get frustrated and upset if we don't fully understand and follow all the steps he has explained.

. Jack's dummy use has been confined to bed time and long car trips in the past month. He threw a couple tantrums in first week, and occasionally still whines or pleads for it, but on the whole it has been a much smoother transition than we were expecting. At the same time it is hard to know how much of his extra difficult behaviour this month could be attributed to not having the dummy to help calm himself down.

. Jack is starting to miss some day sleeps. I had been dreading it - given I enjoy the break, but it hasn't been as difficult as I had imagined. He is in a difficult transition stage. If he has a daytime sleep he takes ages to get to sleep at night (often 9-9:30pm) - which leaves me frazzled and with limited time to relax. If he doesn’t have a nap, he is a bit overtired by the end of the day – but promptly goes to sleep when he goes down around 7pm. He then seems to sleep more soundly and longer in his cot bed before waking to call for me, so I am enjoying this longer relaxation time. Dropping the day sleep is something we will continue to gradually introduce. I suspect the day will come (sooner rather than later) when he refuses to go down for a day sleep at all. I think he will still sleep during the day at childcare though for some time - since all the kids nap at the same time.

. Tooth number 20 is partly through. All teeth being fully through is a milestone I have been looking forward to for quite some time!

. Jack still barely participates in his music class (only does things if I 'help' him, although does seem to enjoy observing the class overall) - so I have finally decided it is time to finish it up. His last class was this week. I have found this term rather chaotic, so hopefully reducing our activities by 1, rescheduling to closer venues, and only doing 1 activity per day will make the remaining activities more enjoyable next term. His confidence has been down at swimming this term also (since they use different blue floaties and after the long summer break) so hopefully a longer 2nd term will help redevelop his confidence.

. Jack's counting continues to develop, and he can now count to 29 when he concentrates, and recognise written numbers. A new childcare worker remarked on how surprised and impressed she was with it.

Jack’s last baby tooth has cut. Unless it is sucked back into the gum for a second round, we should only have a few more weeks of teething angst. Jack is again hard work and is out of sorts. He is frequently asking to go “up to mummy”, even when he is already on her lap or in her arms.

While the timing wasn’t ideal, we are also starting the process of dropping Jack’s mid day sleep. He was going to bed later and later at night, leaving Al frazzled and without much downtime. Jack is quite enthused about this change – although on busier days we force him to have a nap anyway. He gets over tired in the early evening, but drops off much quicker, and stays asleep much longer before demanding a transfer to his human mattress.

The other day Jack called out from upstairs

“Dad – are you down the stairs?”

“Yes Jack – are you up the stairs?”

There was a slight pause, then Jack responded.

“No – I am on the stairs, coming down with Mummy.”

His comprehension and logic keeps amazing us.

We were watching a small diesel locomotive this morning moving carriages around – part of the Puffing Billy Collection. We were asking Jack questions about it, including what numbers were written on its side. He looked and said “D Two One”, and then before we could ask he continued with “oohh look – Eleven on the Carriage”.

While he knows his colours, alphabet and numbers up to around 25 – his responses today reminded us that he is actually reading things around him “in real life”. He seems to get that concept, so we will have to start working more on his general word recognition. He knows his own name, and the words Mum and Dad. I suspect we will find him familiar with other words - just that we hadn't noticed as yet..

Jack missed Childcare for all of last week –sick with a horse voice and hacking cough. He handled it reasonably well – but Al was justifiably tired by the end of it. Grandma Q came down twice to care for him, meaning we only ended up missing half a day’s work each.

The reduced dummy use has worked well – Jack doesn’t even seem to ask for it now.

His testing behaviour continues – although it ebbs and flows. We have tried various punishments once – corner time, bed time, no computer, which he did not react well too. As horrible as it is to say – we have only have to subsequently threaten him with them to moderate his behaviour.

The trick is not using the threats too often, and of course ensuring you follow through if you need to. Actually, the trick is probably not to use threats in the first place…

We still try using the distraction method where possible – and find it works the best. It just requires a level of creativity that we are not always capable of in the heat of the moment. We were having trouble getting Jack to come to the table at Meal time – so now we get him to set the table for us, which helps. We were having trouble getting Jack to open his mouth to brush his teeth – but since his Grandma Q suggested he “Open his mouth like a Whale”, he’s been enthusiastically doing that since.

Helping Dad in the Garden.

A Thomas the Tank Engine ride and show both scared and intrigued Jack. He never quite relaxed.

We have had a hard few days again with Jack – he has been back to his testing worse. Screaming, yelling, hitting, kicking, and deliberately doing what we tell him not to. We have suddenly had to scramble for punishments and consequences – naughty corners, toy confiscation, bed and even mummy absences have all been tried with limited success. Something we are going to have to work on. Surely we didn’t do this to our own parents?

Since he has suddenly out grown a lot of his clothes, we suspect he is going through a growth spurt. (We tend to get a bit desperate to associate the worst of Jack’s behaviour with something we can define and understand…)

On the plus side the restricted dummy use has been working out ok generally. While he asks for it and complains at times, he seems to have understood and accepted the change.

I can remember scoffing at parents whose lives revolved around the sleep times of their children - but I can understand it now. We don't have exact and set times for when Jack's sleeps - but we do go out of our way to try and ensure he gets the opportunity to. One poor sleep can make him a real handful.

Spent a few days at Lake Hume with a number of our friends from Uni days.

More dummy battles today. Al told Jack that he could only have the dummy when he was sleeping – so he asked to sleep on the nappy change table, and sleep while cuddling mum, and sleep while playing on the computer…

We are still having little battles with Jack about his Dummy. While he accepts he cannot have the dummy on short car trips, he has amped up his demands for it once he gets home. Tonight I told him no – and got a full on crying tantrum that went on, and on, and on – and then on some more. In the end I told him he could only have his dummy on long car trips, watching TV while Mum or Dad cooked, and when he was going to sleep. I suspect it will be the first of many battles.

Jack has also started to scream during his tantrums. Both Al and I are quick to very firmly tell him not to scream – which he seems to acknowledge. It is an amazing noise – in the sense it is instantly aggravating.

I don't like having to be the big bad parent that makes Jack cry.

Jack and I have enjoyed a few more outings over the past month while his activities were on hold. We went to his first Hi 5 concert which he was suitably excited by. He sat on my knee throughout, but did announce 'enough Hi 5' as we were leaving. We had another trip down to Geelong to visit my high school friends, then dinner at Grandma Q's afterwards. We visited Charlie (his previous music teacher and her son) and Jack enjoyed jumping on their trampoline, went to a park with Braden, had Damon and Max over to visit, and visited Baby Braden in hospital – the second baby for one of the mother's group. It has been nice having a bit of extra time in our schedule to fit all these things in.

As a family we have visited friends who have recently moved back home from Scotland. Jack has had both Grandma Q,and Grandma and Pop C visit in past week, and enjoyed some one-on-one time with each grandparent. Last of all we have met up with Kiara and her mum to see the Sand Sculptures at Frankston which Jack was intrigued by.

Jack has enjoyed starting back to his activities. He was especially excited by starting Ready, Steady Go - an activity which introduces kids to a range of ball sports. The first 2 weeks have been learning soccer, as well as some time pretending to drive hoops around as cars. There are only 3 little boys in the group and 2 instructors - so the kids get lots of one-on-one attention. Jack insists I run up and down and participate the whole time with him, so it is an exercise class for me also. Jack was also excited to visit the beach afterwards - which he referred to as 'Wiggle Bay'. He was also very happy to see the return of instructor Kellie at swimming. He has another new teacher for music and is still clinging to me and refusing to participate without my help. Given that the rest of the kids are getting more and more independent, we may well not continue with that activity. Time will tell.

Unfortunately with all this busyness I came down with my 3rd inner ear infection for the past 6 months. It took almost 4 weeks and antibiotics to clear it. Jack also was sent home from childcare early last week with a temperature (which was one of his usual teething temps).

Summary of Jack at 31 months:

. One of Jack's favourite activities is for us to hide him under cushions on the couch and then have us pretend to look for him. He also enjoyed playing 'hide and seek' with Grandma C in the garden, and spent 10 mins at a time wandering around the garden pretending to look for grandma and saying 'boo' to all the bushes and laughing at himself.

. Jack is getting more co-ordinated - with us bouncing a ball to him and him doing a single bounce back. He is yet to master multiple bounces and gets a bit frustrated when he tries. He is getting better at hitting balloons up in the air. Dad and Jack have managed to keep the balloon up in the air with over 50 consecutive hits (mum and Jack don't manage to get quite so many!)

. Jack now has his 19th tooth half way through. Hopefully the end of teething is very near now.

. Jack's main new present for the month was a large car road mat which now fills our upstairs area. He particularly loves playing car, train and ball games with his Dad currently and actively seeks him out to play.

. Jack is demanding I carry him everywhere when we are out in public at moment. I think it is a reaction to being around strangers/in a crowd, since as soon as anyone looks at him or he hears loud noises or anything makes him uncomfortable, he demands I pick him up. Given he now weighs over 15kgs I am struggling to carry him for any length of time.

. Jack has learnt all about road rules from one of his play school DVDs this month. When we are out in the car he talks a lot about 'green for go' and 'red for stop' at traffic lights, as well as waiting for other cars at roundabouts. When we cross the road he is learning to look both ways. Sometimes it can cause some confusion for him if there are parked cars and I tell him we can cross anyway, whereas he thinks any car in sight means we have to stop and wait.

Jack wasn’t feeling well this morning, and was very quick to cry and was all out of sorts. At one point I picked him up while tears were streaming down his face. I started patting his back like I would do when he was a baby, and he put his head down on my shoulder and let out a couple big shuddering sighs. After a minute he lifted his head and studied my face. He traced his fingers over my features, hair, and unshaven chin for several minutes, looking intently.

Then the spell was broken and he went back to crying.

Jack’s second last tooth is through – leaving only one more to go. This last one came through quickly. Both Al and I noticed over the space of a couple days that Jack’s two front teeth went from being straight, to being pushed up against each other at an angle. A couple days later they were straight again, and the new tooth was through. Jack told Al that his teeth and top of his head were hurting. I am not surprised – having your teeth shuffling around in your head like that must be uncomfortable.

Jack loves playing games on the computer – and Al has found a large number of them on various websites. A number involve colouring in images using a palette of colours. Jack has a habit of picking a colour and painting the entire image that way. The other day we started to suggest Jack use specific colours on specific parts of the images – and with nothing more he deftly picked whatever colour we asked for and clicked on whatever part of the image we suggested. Just another example of where we find Jack understands far more than what we have given him credit for.

It has been like Jack realised he was pushing things too far – and has suddenly been on his best behaviour for the last couple days. He’s been polite, patient (as far as a toddler can be) and happy within himself. He has been a delight.

On Wednesday Al took him to a Hi Five concert, then on to Geelong to visit high school friends, then across to visit his Grandparents, and only got home late. We expected to pay for this in spades the following day, but Jack pretty much took it in his stride.

We will appreciate it while it lasts.

It took over a year to find the perfect car rug...

Another long haul, another tooth finally through. That leaves two more to go.

We have had a change of behaviour in Jack recently – he has suddenly started going out of his way to test us. I counted a dozen instances in just a couple hours today where he went out of his way to do something after we had said no. I know this is normal, but I was still surprised at how full on it is.

...

I’ve stopped giving Jack his Dummy in the car on short trips. Initially he was ok with this change – but recently he has started crying for it. Today on the way home from Childcare he gave a particularly long and loud crying session– which was both distracting and aggravating after a long day of work.

“JACK! If this is the way you are going to carry on, there will be no more Dummy in the car at all!”

Of course that just increased the tempo and volume, and left me feeling stupid for saying such a thing. I doubted that Jack would have understood what I had meant.

In the end I resorted to turning up the radio and ignoring him – which worked, and he finished the trip sitting quietly in his seat with a bit of a thoughtful look on his face. As we pulled into the garage he piped up with “Dummy in the house ok Dad? Jack have Dummy in the house ok?”

It would seem he did understand what I had said - and was now making sure if he lost car dummy privileges that he would still get to have it in the house.

He is listening, watching, and processing what is going on around him. You forget that at times when it just seems to be a constant string of crying session one after another. He is testing his parents – and so far I don’t think we are passing as well as what we want to be.